I feel like I'm going to throw up.

[-Sanguine-]

I'm not saying tell them that you are 17, tell them that you were 17 when the pics were taken. If I thought for a moment that I had something that could land me in jail for 30+ years, I don't think that I'd stop to ask for proof. I'd get rid of it as soon as possible.

 

Okay, I get what you mean..

I'll think of that. It's likely a possibility.

[Speranza]

It could backfire if you say you were under age...

 

Even if you find out who did it, they are out there. You just have to deal with that one. They could end up anywhere. There will be copies by now.

 

The main issue is how you move on - I recommend 'quickly'.

[-Sanguine-]

It could backfire if you say you were under age...

 

Even if you find out who did it, they are out there. You just have to deal with that one. They could end up anywhere. There will be copies by now.

 

The main issue is how you move on - I recommend 'quickly'.

 

I was thinking maybe the person would just show randoms on their phone..

I didn't think copies would be made.

 

AH that's just horrific.

 

I know I will get over it. I'm still in the freaking out stage.. it's hard not to.

[Mauxly]

It could backfire if you say you were under age...

 

Yeah. Actually this has to be taken into consideration. I sort of regret the advice I gave you now that I think about it. Lies, even if spoken with the best intentions, tend to come back and hurt us pretty bad. The laws of the universe tend to look down on untruths.

 

So scratch that. Stupid, knee jerk advice.

 

Put it behind you. Hold your head up high. And those 'friends' of his? I'm assuming they've been tossed in the category of 'that one arse I used to know..'

[FathomFear]

I wouldn't be worried about it. It's just your body. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Unfortunately, this is a risk any time you send something out into the digital world. It's completely out of your control so there's no point in wasting valuable energy stressing over it.

[-Sanguine-]

Yeah. Actually this has to be taken into consideration. I sort of regret the advice I gave you now that I think about it. Lies, even if spoken with the best intentions, tend to come back and hurt us pretty bad. The laws of the universe tend to look down on untruths.

 

So scratch that. Stupid, knee jerk advice.

 

Put it behind you. Hold your head up high. And those 'friends' of his? I'm assuming they've been tossed in the category of 'that one arse I used to know..'

 

Okay, I won't do that.

Probably not a good idea afterall.

[-Sanguine-]

I'd call the phone company and ask for records... they probably emailed or texted the photos to someone else's phone, and the cellphone records would be able to tell you what number they were sent to...

 

It might be illegal to do this kind of thing, steal someone's phone and pictures, so you might want to do that research, and if you find out who is sending them round, prosecute them, if for no other reason, to prevent them being sent around some more.

 

They can subpoena each phone record as the pictures are propagated between phones, so you might be able to put a stop to this.

 

So you mean call and ask for records of my boyfriends old phone?

They probably sent the pictures to themselves from there.

 

My bf got a new phone with the same number. Do you think that would matter?

 

and also, if I called the phone company and asked for records, they would probably want to know why. Would I tell them that it's cause pictures were sent that I didn't want to be seen and my phone was taken? Or do I just ask for a general inquiry?

[-Sanguine-]

I wouldn't be worried about it. It's just your body. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Unfortunately, this is a risk any time you send something out into the digital world. It's completely out of your control so there's no point in wasting valuable energy stressing over it.

 

Thanks.

I'm trying hard not to stress, but unfortunately it's a quality that is dominant in me.

[jengh]

I get the whole "small town" thing. When I broke up with my high school boyfriend he spread around town that I was a cokehead and about to flunk out of my university. Where he came up with that, I will never know... but word got back to my parents and it wasn't pretty. My friends were all reaching out and wanting to do some sort of intervention, suggesting rehab, the works I had never even TOUCHED the stuff! ....but, I just weathered the storm and it eventually went away. I denied accusations and was still enrolled in the university so there wasn't much else to talk about.

 

I guess my point is, just give it some time and it WILL go away. Soon enough, a new "scandal" will come out and you'll be old news.

 

If word gets out, if your family finds out... tell them that while it was irresponsible and "reckless" (parents seem to like that word) to send those photos, they were meant for private viewing and it all just got out of hand.

 

I agree that you should get the phone records. If your boyfriend manages his cell account online, there should be detailed billing on there. I'm not sure about other phone companies, but AT&T has them right on the site. You might not even have to call anyone. The new phone shouldn't make a difference.

 

Really sorry this happened! Stay strong.

[-Sanguine-]

Thanks! It sucks that your ex spread rumors about you, must have been terrible. Nice to know someone kind of understands what I'm going through though so thanks

 

My boyfriend would probably have to do the callng since it's his phone so I'll wait til he gets home to suggest it.

[jengh]

Thanks! It sucks that your ex spread rumors about you, must have been terrible. Nice to know someone kind of understands what I'm going through though so thanks

 

My boyfriend would probably have to do the callng since it's his phone so I'll wait til he gets home to suggest it.

 

Yeah, my mom texted me "call me asap. We need to talk"... I was like, oh god... what now.. and then she told me what she heard I was like... WHAT? Good lord. He was a bitter, spiteful person. I totally understand what you're going through, I know how awful it is. The same ex sent a topless photo of me to his brother. Thankfully, that didn't go any further because his brother wasn't a douche but still. Ugh.

[FathomFear]

If I were you I would make light of it if you are ever directly approached about it. For example, if some random person says "Hey, I've seen you NAKED!!!!" just reply with "Cool! What do you think? Do I need to work on my abs or thighs more?" People will be far less likely to harass you about it if they know it has no effect on you.

[Mauxly]

If I were you I would make light of it if you are ever directly approached about it. For example, if some random person says "Hey, I've seen you NAKED!!!!" just reply with "Cool! What do you think? Do I need to work on my abs or thighs more?" People will be far less likely to harass you about it if they know it has no effect on you.

 

I like this. Much better than my advice!

[Speranza]

Yeah that's great! I teach that to kids - we call it 'fogging' - make a joke, turn it back on them...

 

This must be awful - but nobody here is condemning you, are they? Perhaps in a weird way it's going to be ultimately helpful - I mean, as a 'don't sweat the small stuff' exercise it couldn't be bettered...

[-Sanguine-]

Thanks for the replies, everyone

I'm just hoping that people don't start talking about it

[jengh]

Thanks for the replies, everyone

I'm just hoping that people don't start talking about it

 

I have a feeling this will blow over in no time. It won't be long before new gossip pops up. Oh, small towns

 

I like the advice about making light of it!

[obs]

Yeah. Actually this has to be taken into consideration. I sort of regret the advice I gave you now that I think about it. Lies, even if spoken with the best intentions, tend to come back and hurt us pretty bad. The laws of the universe tend to look down on untruths.

 

So scratch that. Stupid, knee jerk advice.

 

Put it behind you. Hold your head up high. And those 'friends' of his? I'm assuming they've been tossed in the category of 'that one arse I used to know..'

 

Glad I read this before responding to your original post. Lying in order to get someone in legal trouble is way more unethical, immoral, and damaging than someone sending these pictures out.

 

It really sucks, but there isn't much you can do. Also, the photos didn't just jump off your boyfriends phone. Sounds like he's being less than truthful of his knowledge of how they got out.

 

Anyways, take this as a lesson learned. It's embarrassing, but if this is the worse thing to happen to you, you'll live a pretty great life.

[konstantine]

It will blow over. I know it's hard to believe now and that you are mortified. But in a year when you think back, it most likely will not even be something you think about anymore.

 

But cmon people, NEVER take naked pictures with your face in them. Are people really still thinking that's a good idea? Lesson learned.

[-Sanguine-]

Glad I read this before responding to your original post. Lying in order to get someone in legal trouble is way more unethical, immoral, and damaging than someone sending these pictures out.

 

It really sucks, but there isn't much you can do. Also, the photos didn't just jump off your boyfriends phone. Sounds like he's being less than truthful of his knowledge of how they got out.

 

Anyways, take this as a lesson learned. It's embarrassing, but if this is the worse thing to happen to you, you'll live a pretty great life.

 

He's not lying about it. I know that.. but yeah. Lesson lesson learned.

[Mauxly]

Lying in order to get someone in legal trouble is way more unethical, immoral, and damaging than someone sending these pictures out.

 

You misread what I wrote, or maybe I wasn't clear. I didn't want her to get anyone in trouble. I wanted them to THINK they were going to get into trouble and delete the messages. Still a stupid idea though. Dishonesty always comes back to bite.

[arcadefire]

I would take the advice of just pretending that it doesn't phase you the least. If someone brings it up, just go oh well, then move on. A lot of embarrassing things happen to everyone, and the best advice is to just let it settle down naturally instead of letting it bother you constantly.

[musicmancanada]

I think the bigger the deal you make it.. (you being the subject of the picture) the more people will use it to "one up" you in a social setting (everybody's got a sore spot and small towns have a habit of talking about everyone else's dirty laundry before their own)..

 

But I've actually found that if you keep a fairly low key/care free attitude towards it and not allow people to push your buttons with it.. It will fall to the next big juicy story there is to tell.

 

Sorry this happened to you.

 

Shame it didn't happen when you were a minor. These jokers would do jail time.