Can't make him more romantic

[CordelliaG]

I'm in a long term committed relationship with a lovely man and we both care about each other very much. I wish he would be more romantic though. Ihave dated a lot of very romantic men in the past, and my bf just isn't that way. He is sweet, no doubt, but he never takes me on dates (we go out to casual dinner all the time, but that's more grab a bite style, not like a romantic proper dinner) and he bought me flowers ONCE after me hinting at it a lot (i know I am bad). He's just a typical guy in that sense, and I think most women experience that men are not as romantic as they would like them to be. He's very sensitive and kind to me, and I love him for who he is, don't get me wrong. I just wish he would google "how to romance a girl" or something!! I do try to show him a lot of romance, even wrote him a poem once that he treasures and tells me he looks at a lot.

 

Maybe I jsut wanted to vent, you can't force someone to be romantic because then it becomes contrived...but any advice is still welcome

[faithful14]

You said that you have hinted to him before about being more romantic to you but you should just tell him straight up that you want some more romance in your life. Don't beat around the bush, just let him know that every once in a while you would like to go out for a romantic dinner or go out for a moonlit stroll or whatever it is that you enjoy.

 

You can also try to continue doing more romantic things and maybe he will eventually catch on. But seriously talk to him about it cause who knows, he may think going out to eat dinner is already romantic.

[DN]

Have you taken him out for a romantic dinner?

[CordelliaG]

Yes, DN, I have taken him out on a romantic date! Faithful14, I have also told him straight-up too, but didn't want to push it because he's very sensitive and I don't want to make him feel bad!!!

[pl3asehelp]

Could you define what a romantic dinner is? In contrast to what you describe as casual grab a bite? Does it have something to do with how you're dressed? I've never been told I wasn't romantic but I also feel like I have no clue what this actually means. Buying flowers? It's soooo easy, is this really impressive? It's like a 2 minute phone call to a florist.

[faithful14]

you should ask him what he considers to be romantic, he might think some of the things you guys do already are romantic....that's happened with me before lol

[Keyman]

Sometimes some people need to be led my the nose several times before they get the hint. So, take him out for dinner, organise something romantic for him and tell him you would like to do something romantic for him, cause 'that's just the type of person you are', buy him flowers, write him more poetry. Always tell him that you are doing it for romance.

 

Do without expectation. So, push romance at him in every way that you can, over and over if you have to. Soon, he will get the idea that these are the types of things that you like and would like. If after all of that he still doesn't get the hint, then ask him to suggest some of these things to do.

 

As for the 'typical guy' stereotype, in my experience, most of the girls I have dated have not been romantically inclined. Sure, they loved being romanced, but very few made the effort to romance me in turn.

[OptomisticGirl]

Sounds like my ex to be honest. I can't tell you the times I hinted I wanted flowers for a special occasion or just to be surprise with them, didn't have to be anything special, and he completely and utterly missed it. And as for doing anything romantic... yeah. Never happened. So I know were you're frustration is coming from.

 

The fact is you can't change a person. They either are romantic or they aren't. You can keep hinting about the little things and hope he catches on or just accept he is the way he is (doesn't mean he cares/loves for you any less because he isn't romantic) and be okay. I remember the more I hinted and the more I openly talked to him about it I felt like I was banging my head up against a brick wall.

 

I agree with Kayman, a woman should def. romance her man just as much as he romances her. It is a two way street.