Canadagirl930 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 I'm 20, and live with my much older boyfriend (he's 39). We've lived together a little over a year, and are very, very in love. We had a whirlwind courtship, and moved in together after four months of dating. We spend about 99% of our time together. He loves me very much, and although he has dated a lot of women, I am the only one he has never cheated on. He was married, and got divorced in 2006. I'm very close with his family and spend a lot of time with his parents. I don't know why, but I can't help but feel uncomfortable when anything about his ex-wife comes up. I don't know if it is jealousy, but whatever it is, it isn't a good feeling. He and his family are both very, very open about his past relationships, so I hear his ex-wife's name a lot. Also, he used to talk about his ex- girlfriends ALL the time, until I told him how much it bothers me. He has gotten a lot better about it. His family loves me, but I can't help but feel like something of the new kid on the block. I can't get over that his parents and his exwife still talk, etc-- I just don't understand it. Seeing pictures of their wedding always catches me off guard. I found their wedding tape and divorce papers when I was moving us into our new apartment, and it made me feel really uncomfortable. I know he doesn't still love her, and he is glad he is with me, but I can't help how I feel. I can't help but look her up on facebook, look at old pictures of her on his computer, etc etc. I just clam up whenever a story about her (or her family) comes up. I really don't know what to do, and I think it is bad for our relationship. I want to stop, and I want to feel at ease with it, but I'm struggling. I tend towards being a little jealous, and can be very insecure, and my boyfriend is the total opposite, so he really doesn't understand. I think part of it might just be an inherent age difference issue, because I certainly have never dated anyone who has been married before (my last serious boyfriend lost his virginity to me). My current boyfriend has slept with over 100 women, and that isn't even what bothers me-- it is thinking of him in love with someone, or being close to someone. I clam up and get very quiet and tense whenever it comes up, and he can tell, and gets irritated. Anyone have any advice? I'd really appreciate it. Link to comment
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