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Girlfriend and I broke up yesterday, and I told her I would be going the NC way at 8 pm yesterday, at 10, i get a text saying "im sorry for everything", and at 2 am saying "hi" , and at 3:30 am-"are you sleeping"?


No one cheated on each other, we just have been arguing alot over the past week. Now my question is why did she text me? I haven't replied at all, and have no need to , Im just curious

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guy: leave me alone. i don't want to talk

girl: i want to talk. i want to know how you feel

guy: i'll ignore you and everyone else

girl: i'm going to talk to my gfs about this. i neeeeed to know what you're feeling.



it's a horrendous cycle and i'm sort of going through it.

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I had a lot of trouble with no contact at first, just like your ex. When it's not your choice it can be really hard to accept that it's for the best. After a few days I finally stopped thinking/worrying about US and started to think about ME. It was a huge change and it should be why you are going no contact. If you keep it up you will hit that point too. Suddenly you are thinking more about yourself, how you want to change yourself and change your life. Maybe you will find yourself more drawn to the ex, and maybe you will find that you were using your ex as a crutch.


Don't give up on no contact! One day it will suddenly start to make sense. I feel a million times better than I did at the beginning, and I was the dumpee! I am thinking about what I really want in my life and relationships, instead of what I can do for her. I refuse to even put thought into "what if she came back" because I am concentrating on myself.


You will be so much better off if you let this time to yourself make things better. Clear your head, find your own needs and figure out what makes you happiest. She'll be better off if you don't give in to her desperate texts. It gets easier!

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Saturday night I goto chicago and she sends me this email:


im really confused.....i really need some time to see what i want .....i have never been this confused and upset before.... im not sure about anything anymore... i cant even say i have been happy in my life, but when i met u, it was different....im sure the feelings i have for u are real but im just worried if this was the right thing... that im going to be happy. because i have had enough of a sad life where nothing was right

i just need some time and space to think ....


thats all


but i do love you


and i always will





so I told her that I'd give her the space she wanted and I'd rather just move on, instead of all this. I come home sunday morning and she asks to see me, and says she loves me , we talk for a few hours. Later in the day , we hang out , and she hugs, and kisses, and says she loves me.


What the hell?

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well, don't be drawn into her chaos. you just have to be the firm one and tell her what it is you want (ie, a clear answer one way or another) but you're not going to sit around while she decides. you're going to have to think about what is right for you.


one possibility might be to say, "you are right, you seem confused. let's not talk for the next 30 days. If you want to get back together, seriously, and really work on us as a couple, call me. If you don't, or I don't hear from you, I will move on with my life for good. I'm not going to tolerate this on again/off again relationship anymore."


or however you want to say it. i'm sure you can come up with something good to say.

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Unless she wanted to get back together, it's hurting you more as well. I once heard a guy with a gf who was 'confused' and 'needed space.' He said that if she walked out that door, she was never coming back. Anyway, they're still together a few years later.

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I'm staying strong, just wondering, last time, she couldn't last a day without texting me, so I have a feeling in a day or so she will probably do it again, but I have to be strong...


Are past behaviors indicators of future?

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It's been a day NC, and its tough.


me: i just dont understand like yesterday


her: ?


me: u were holding me , kissing me, and saying u love me


her: i do]


i love you


this has nothing to do with my feelings

3:05 PM



and i mean it every time i say it


me: then what does it have to do with

her: if this is the right thing....for me ....for u....in future


me: i thought we talked all this out yesterday


her: yea...but its still in the back of my mind


and it scares me



her: my heart tells me something different than my mind does



she wanted space so i gave it to her, but I am clueless as to all this

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