clearity Posted May 8, 2010 Share Posted May 8, 2010 Girlfriend and I broke up yesterday, and I told her I would be going the NC way at 8 pm yesterday, at 10, i get a text saying "im sorry for everything", and at 2 am saying "hi" , and at 3:30 am-"are you sleeping"? No one cheated on each other, we just have been arguing alot over the past week. Now my question is why did she text me? I haven't replied at all, and have no need to , Im just curious Link to comment
hater13 Posted May 8, 2010 Share Posted May 8, 2010 continue NC she seems confused, probably rethinking her decision. She obviously misses you. Just let things be for now. If she really wants you back, she'll come back. goodluck with everything much love Link to comment
Convict7 Posted May 8, 2010 Share Posted May 8, 2010 Give it a few days if you can. You will be amazed at how much your feelings change from day to day and how much clarity you really find. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted May 8, 2010 Share Posted May 8, 2010 Read through these threads. You'll find that her contacts are meaningless. Link to comment
clearity Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 just sitting here relaxing before i go out tonight, and she texted now "Just saying hi, hope everything is ok" ... im not replying Link to comment
FrenchFries Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Good for you. Have a great time out tonight. Link to comment
clearity Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 Why is she texting me? she just emailed me asking the same stuff and said sorry for bothering me. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Why is she texting me? she just emailed me asking the same stuff and said sorry for bothering me. To say hi. Try not to read more into it. Link to comment
fireside Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 guy: leave me alone. i don't want to talk girl: i want to talk. i want to know how you feel guy: i'll ignore you and everyone else girl: i'm going to talk to my gfs about this. i neeeeed to know what you're feeling. it's a horrendous cycle and i'm sort of going through it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 does she know that NC means No Contact? Maybe she thinks you are going to North Carolina soon on vacation? Link to comment
Convict7 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 I had a lot of trouble with no contact at first, just like your ex. When it's not your choice it can be really hard to accept that it's for the best. After a few days I finally stopped thinking/worrying about US and started to think about ME. It was a huge change and it should be why you are going no contact. If you keep it up you will hit that point too. Suddenly you are thinking more about yourself, how you want to change yourself and change your life. Maybe you will find yourself more drawn to the ex, and maybe you will find that you were using your ex as a crutch. Don't give up on no contact! One day it will suddenly start to make sense. I feel a million times better than I did at the beginning, and I was the dumpee! I am thinking about what I really want in my life and relationships, instead of what I can do for her. I refuse to even put thought into "what if she came back" because I am concentrating on myself. You will be so much better off if you let this time to yourself make things better. Clear your head, find your own needs and figure out what makes you happiest. She'll be better off if you don't give in to her desperate texts. It gets easier! Link to comment
clearity Posted May 10, 2010 Author Share Posted May 10, 2010 Saturday night I goto chicago and she sends me this email: im really confused.....i really need some time to see what i want .....i have never been this confused and upset before.... im not sure about anything anymore... i cant even say i have been happy in my life, but when i met u, it was different....im sure the feelings i have for u are real but im just worried if this was the right thing... that im going to be happy. because i have had enough of a sad life where nothing was right i just need some time and space to think .... thats all but i do love you and i always will so I told her that I'd give her the space she wanted and I'd rather just move on, instead of all this. I come home sunday morning and she asks to see me, and says she loves me , we talk for a few hours. Later in the day , we hang out , and she hugs, and kisses, and says she loves me. What the hell? Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 tell her that you will give her space to think, but that you are going NO CONTACT now. if she wants to work on getting back together (for REAL!) then she can call you. otherwise, you will move on. Link to comment
clearity Posted May 10, 2010 Author Share Posted May 10, 2010 This is crazy, what the hell. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 well, don't be drawn into her chaos. you just have to be the firm one and tell her what it is you want (ie, a clear answer one way or another) but you're not going to sit around while she decides. you're going to have to think about what is right for you. one possibility might be to say, "you are right, you seem confused. let's not talk for the next 30 days. If you want to get back together, seriously, and really work on us as a couple, call me. If you don't, or I don't hear from you, I will move on with my life for good. I'm not going to tolerate this on again/off again relationship anymore." or however you want to say it. i'm sure you can come up with something good to say. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 Unless she wanted to get back together, it's hurting you more as well. I once heard a guy with a gf who was 'confused' and 'needed space.' He said that if she walked out that door, she was never coming back. Anyway, they're still together a few years later. Link to comment
clearity Posted May 11, 2010 Author Share Posted May 11, 2010 i blocked her from everything, facebook, gmail, she kept putting up sayings and songs that showed she is sad. Ive had enough Link to comment
clearity Posted May 11, 2010 Author Share Posted May 11, 2010 I'm staying strong, just wondering, last time, she couldn't last a day without texting me, so I have a feeling in a day or so she will probably do it again, but I have to be strong... Are past behaviors indicators of future? Link to comment
jellysandwich Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 No. She'll get the hint eventually. Link to comment
clearity Posted May 11, 2010 Author Share Posted May 11, 2010 It's been a day NC, and its tough. me: i just dont understand like yesterday her: ? me: u were holding me , kissing me, and saying u love me her: i do] i love you this has nothing to do with my feelings 3:05 PM I LOVE YOU and i mean it every time i say it me: then what does it have to do with her: if this is the right thing....for me ....for u....in future me: i thought we talked all this out yesterday her: yea...but its still in the back of my mind and it scares me her: my heart tells me something different than my mind does she wanted space so i gave it to her, but I am clueless as to all this Link to comment
Lostbutokay Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 If she wanted to be with you she would. This is just the beginning to an end (imo). Keep giving her space, let yourself grow individually, and in time if she wants to come back she will. Link to comment
Starbourne Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 Sounds like a quarter life crisis to me. Same thing happened with my ex. Listen to what people are saying. Let her be and work on you. Link to comment
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