Things got so messy with my ex . . .

[mattguy]

I decided to contact my ex to say goodbye since he was leaving town, this after 1 month NC. it turns out he wasnt leaving.

 

we had sex

 

the next 2 days we spent together were as if we were back together again . thats what he lead me to believe.

 

fastforward to last night, we went to a bar together and he hit on everything that moves . then i caught him txting a guy to have a hookup.

 

when we fell asleep i went to the kitchen and filled up a jug of ice water and ended up pouring it on his head, I left.

 

part of me feels bad right now, part of me is glad. there is no chance of us being anything at this point, not even friends.

 

i dont know why im so sad . . .

[ElectricSheep123]

OMG! This guy is such a jerk.

 

But why did you hook up with him again? You were doing so great. From what I read, he put you through so much. Did he really give you the impression that you're back together? Would you really have taken him back?

 

I guess you've got to start all over again...

[fLuiD]

 

 

I thought you had learned your lesson a few weeks back? You really have to stop subjecting yourself to this pain. You are going to have to step up your efforts to remind yourself that you hate this man, and everything he has done to you.

[Mimori]

Hopefully, you’ll be strong this time in realizing that he’s finished. Relish in the fact that you had the last “laugh” so speak, (By the fact you poured ice water on him and walked out on him). Don’t let yourself subject to wanting to talk to him again, or spending time with him. You already said you know it’s finished and he will never be a part of your life. –That’s a good start for moving on.

 

Whenever any of us lose someone special to us, especially when we love them, it’s so easy to wish that they’d come back and everything could be great again… we fall back into that “dream world” we created of them, forgetting…or even in denial of the horrible things they’ve done to us..

 

Take a serious consideration about why you’re sad. Are you really sad that he hasn’t changed, or sad that you let yourself be “tricked” into trusting him into your life again? Whenever you make a mistake, don’t let yourself fall into that rut of feeling guilty/upset… you tripped, that’s all that happened! Get back up, stronger now, and continue with No Contact and find the person that’s right for you! So what if he’s not in your life, you deserve someone far better and someone who will treat you with respect and not play mind games like this.

 

Good luck!

[mattguy]

it was a major setback. it just happened. . . it felt amazing to be with him for those days, he talked about a future since hes not moving anymore, and i fell for it. the way he acted with me, and how affectionate he was lead me to believe he meant it... i think hes just looking to get laid these days, i want to find love again.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Now you know that he can't be trusted..that his words are meaningless words just to get what he wants. Make sure you get yourself tested because clearly he has been sleeping around a lot.

[itsallgrand]

You deserve to find love.

 

That's the biggest pitfall with exs and getting hurt a second time. How it can wear down faith and self esteem, that people can be decent and that we deserve love.

 

I hope you can see that he is just this one person - and he doesn't represent all men. That you can find love, but you got to put in the work to be able to receive it in the form it may come in too. ((that is sort of the tricky part for all of us sometimes))

 

I have to admit I did laugh when you said you poured ice water on his head. lol.

 

Aww man, wishing the best for you. You seem to have a sweet heart. Unfortunately, he takes advantage of that and that he knows you care for him.

[ElectricSheep123]

the next 2 days we spent together were as if we were back together again . thats what he lead me to believe.

 

How did he do this, exactly?

[alcide]

so i take it that he gay? maybe thats why he left you in the first place he is foolish , you right to

[ElectricSheep123]

so i take it that he gay? maybe thats why he left you in the first place he is foolish , you right to

 

 

Come again?

[mattguy]

How did he do this, exactly?

 

he made plans for our future in coversation, how he would spend weekends with me and id spend weekdays at his new place.

[OccultFigurine]

The simple answer is that he did it/is doing it because he's weak. He got caught up in being with you, made you promises that in all probabilty he meant at the time ( weak people can usually fool themselves, I think this is why they're so dangerous )

 

The only way you can counter this is to show him that you are stronger than that-back to NC, to show him *by your actions* that you deserve much much more than he can give you.

 

Good luck xxxx

[mattguy]

I know i need to go NC. its all so f-ing hard! i hate this so much i wish i was over it. it feels like i will never recover 100%