What do I do with this guy I like?

[MizzTasha]

He's blown me off multiple times. total douche, but I still like him. He's honest, works hard but I think he's just not willing to open his heart.

 

and I know you all probably think I should just let him go but what if I hang on and he becomes a different person? My best friend's boyfriend was a total ass to her and then changed since she stuck by and had faith.

 

thanks

[waveseer]

A person can only put up with so much flakiness. Only you know your own limit.

[hannah_k]

It's really not worth the emotional strain. Because if you invest all that time into a relationship that may never happen.

 

You said it yourself. He's not willing to "open his heart" and you can't make him. Besides, I wouldn't waste my time on a "total douche." It's highly unlikely that it would be worth your time and you may take a severe blow to your self esteem.

[Capricorn3]

I don't understand WHY you want to be with someone who has blown you off multiple times and is a total douche ....

 

He really doesn't sound very interested in you at all, so maybe you need a reality check and move on?

[misssmithviii]

I wouldn't waste my time with a man who didn't show me any value and oh, isn't a gentleman.

I'm wondering why you would be interested in a man who obviously isn't respectful? A man who has the capability to blow you off like that most likely isn't just going to start caring for you one day.

Why would you even hang on when you're not even with him?

 

Like my friend said once to his brother, "I told you to lower your standards a little bit, not throw them on the ground."

[MizzTasha]

I don't know. I just feel like if I'm going to have to gain his worth I might at well give it a good try and get really hot. Hotter than his ex and then feel like I'm the one in control which I should be feeling but I'm just tired of finding someone new that will do the same thing. So at least he's predictable.

[Hopelives]

I don't know. I just feel like if I'm going to have to gain his worth I might at well give it a good try and get really hot. Hotter than his ex and then feel like I'm the one in control which I should be feeling but I'm just tired of finding someone new that will do the same thing. So at least he's predictable.

Huh?

 

Your self esteem needs a boost and this chunk o'trash isn't going to help you.

 

You don't gain some guy's worth, especially through sex (my interpretation of your comment "get really hot. hotter than his ex..."

[MizzTasha]

i do need self motivation true i just don't know where to find it. I've been good this year. I lost the vcard and I didn't consent to the thing. regardless you move on so then there were about 16 guys within the 1st year and a 1/2 and I've only been with this guy this year which is clean.

 

I feel like a * * * * and I don't want to get my hopes up of finding a new guy because they will always treat you like dirt and this guy I won't be getting my hopes up for which mean I won't be getting hurt.

 

so this question has become a little too deep for me but thanks all for your words appreciate it. just thinking of keeping him on the side and finding another douche. I suppose if his ex is hot though it means he is attracted to hot chics so I must be in that category

[Capricorn3]

I don't know. I just feel like if I'm going to have to gain his worth I might at well give it a good try and get really hot. Hotter than his ex and then feel like I'm the one in control which I should be feeling but I'm just tired of finding someone new that will do the same thing. So at least he's predictable.

 

Wow. I hope you realise that by doing all of the above you're actually chasing him away, right? Maybe that's why he's been blowing you off? Think about it.

 

You can't MAKE someone like/love you.

[MizzTasha]

I haven't done anything to him. I don't know what it is that I said I was doing to him but I'm the one he blows off consistently bc that's what he does to chics. I am attracted to what I can't have because the first one took something that wasn't given to him and now because of this I'm a mental case and should probably seek therapy but whatever, tomorrow is Monday and I will dive into work and working out and volunteer work and just keeping up so that I can bury this again. I wasn't looking forward to self reflection, not ready for it. sorry

[Capricorn3]

It sounds like you DO need therapy/counselling for some things that happened to you in the past. I would suggest you do that as soon as possible, rather than put so much focus and energy into someone who clearly doesn't seem very interested.

 

Get yourself sorted out hon. Best of luck.

[MizzTasha]

maybe. not the right time for it. have other priorities like helping out my clients and working on this business. it was a moment of weakness here but I blocked his number and then I can't get his calls or texts. I'll only contact him regarding a transaction I'm working on for him but he can't get a hold of me. I'm in control so hopefully this week I'll be more disciplined in how I view myself and how I treat myself. Prayer will be replacing the desperate calls to feel like I can get him to want me. lol

[candykisses]

^Why would you want him to want you?

 

Ladies, don't put up with bs. Self-respect, set your standards high and have zero tolerance for disrespectful behaviour.

 

Best,

candy