pixie1985 Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 I met someone, 4 years ago, before I married my husband, I saw him later in my life, he is gorgeous, charming and just perfect in bed (amazing perfect)I like him a lot, My husband is a total Prik, and a control freak. But my question is why is he interested? Im not gonna lie, I am pretty, Im fit, and have no kids. Would love to have kids, but due to an abortion I had ( which I was forced to do) I can no longer have my own. Link to comment
avman Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 I guess the bigger question is - why stay with your husband if it is that bad? Why not leave and then you can be with this man who apparently is a much better fit for you? Link to comment
pixie1985 Posted April 8, 2010 Author Share Posted April 8, 2010 Avman, I tried leaving several times, he won't let me go... Im sick of it, but I don't know how to get out of it. I know it sounds stupid and helpless, but it is what it is. And I wish I could be with him ( my lover) ... we had sex for the first time last nite, and it was everything I ever dreamed of... I am just wondering what the heck is going through his mind! And if I'll ever see him again, after last nite... Link to comment
HellFrost666 Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 It's hard to answer your question about why he's interested because we don't know him. But, I have been a single guy involved with a married woman and for me it was because I felt really connected with her right from the beginning. (And obviously it was a real connection... she isn't married anymore and we've been in a relationship for almost five years now.) You said this guy is good in bed. Maybe he's interested because you guys have good sex. Good sex is addictive. Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 I'd guess because there are not many consequences with a married women. The husband does all the boring relationship stuff, the single guy gets to do all the fun exciting stuff. And if you attach he can simply walk away. Just guessing though, and assumes no emotional attachment on the single guy side. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 Some men just dont care, just like some women do not care if the person they are seeing is married. If you are going to portray your husband as such then it doesnt say much for the fact you are staying with him other than the fact that you are co-dependent. Link to comment
avman Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 Avman, I tried leaving several times, he won't let me go... Im sick of it, but I don't know how to get out of it. I know it sounds stupid and helpless, but it is what it is. And I wish I could be with him ( my lover) ... we had sex for the first time last nite, and it was everything I ever dreamed of... I am just wondering what the heck is going through his mind! And if I'll ever see him again, after last nite... Not sure what you mean by "he won't let me go". So you file the paperwork. What does it matter what he says? You do not need his consent. If it is that bad (and it sure sounds like it is) then you need to be the one to take action and end it. Link to comment
Catdancer Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 If the OP left her husband for the other man, then the dynamics would change. Her lover would no longer be a mystery or sexy enigma of a man. He would be her bf or husband and thus lose his appeal. As a woman who has been involved with committed men before, the appeal was that they wouldnt latch onto me. I could have fun and sex and not have to worry about relationship issues. Link to comment
pixie1985 Posted April 8, 2010 Author Share Posted April 8, 2010 I love him, that's why I married him. He turned into a complete defferent person after a few months, I discovered a lot of things about him, I did not know. But, when I try to leave, and I am completely serious about it, he becomes himself again and convices me of staying. hes fine for a few weeks, and starts being a total jerk again. right now, I just don't talk to him nor do I care, he misstreated me in such a way, that I became numb to his abuse. right now, Im just waiting for him to get sick of me not caring, and to get up and leave. I tried, several times, I did. Lord Knows... Link to comment
Catdancer Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 Well then, by all means keep your mystery man. lol If you are miserable, and you have tried to leave, but the hubs wont let you, to hell with him. No since in you being miserable all the time. At least you can have some great sex. I realize my post is controversial as most people say "leave him". But it is never as cut and dried as it sound on here and if she cant leave, might as well enjoy herself! Link to comment
thathoopla Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 Avman, I tried leaving several times, he won't let me go... Im sick of it, but I don't know how to get out of it. I know it sounds stupid and helpless, but it is what it is. And I wish I could be with him ( my lover) ... we had sex for the first time last nite, and it was everything I ever dreamed of... I am just wondering what the heck is going through his mind! And if I'll ever see him again, after last nite... It's not that he won't let you go. It's that you won't let go of him. Nothing is really stopping if you, if you want to leave. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 How can you be so sure that this other guy would stay with you, if you decided to leave your husband? He may very well feel that if you can cheat on your husband, you can just as easily cheat on him. Link to comment
pixie1985 Posted April 8, 2010 Author Share Posted April 8, 2010 well then, by all means keep your mystery man. Lol if you are miserable, and you have tried to leave, but the hubs wont let you, to hell with him. No since in you being miserable all the time. At least you can have some great sex. I realize my post is controversial as most people say "leave him". But it is never as cut and dried as it sound on here and if she cant leave, might as well enjoy herself! thank you!!!!!!! Link to comment
thathoopla Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 Well then, by all means keep your mystery man. lol If you are miserable, and you have tried to leave, but the hubs wont let you, to hell with him. No since in you being miserable all the time. At least you can have some great sex. I realize my post is controversial as most people say "leave him". But it is never as cut and dried as it sound on here and if she cant leave, might as well enjoy herself! I think she should tell her husband first, before she just continues with the side relationship. If everyone's okay with it, then it's allright. But as of now, she's cheating and breaching the marriage contract. If you tell him you're cheating, that would be a pretty easy reason to divorce. lol. Link to comment
pixie1985 Posted April 8, 2010 Author Share Posted April 8, 2010 How can you be so sure that this other guy would stay with you, if you decided to leave your husband? He may very well feel that if you can cheat on your husband, you can just as easily cheat on him. I don't want to stay with him, I don't know what I want with him, all i know is this rush from top to bottom I feel right now, That honestly I never felt, never. Not even when I was a teenager. Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 I don't want to stay with him, I don't know what I want with him, all i know is this rush from top to bottom I feel right now, That honestly I never felt, never. Not even when I was a teenager. It's called lust and infatuation...and is fleeting. Link to comment
Catdancer Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 I think she should tell her husband first, before she just continues with the side relationship. If everyone's okay with it, then it's allright. But as of now, she's cheating and breaching the marriage contract. If you tell him you're cheating, that would be a pretty easy reason to divorce. lol. Good point. OP...can you tell her husband about your "special friend"? Link to comment
pixie1985 Posted April 8, 2010 Author Share Posted April 8, 2010 Is any one on the other side of the fence? I mean, with a married woman, in a similar position as he would be???? Link to comment
thathoopla Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 Is any one on the other side of the fence? I mean, with a married woman, in a similar position as he would be???? You'll find some of them on this website, and a lot here link removed Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 Is any one on the other side of the fence? I mean, with a married woman, in a similar position as he would be???? You are obsessing on what HE thinks about YOU. Why does it really matter? It's not exactly like you can have a committed relationship with him while you are married to someone else. Link to comment
Catdancer Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 OP..there is also a website that I went to years ago when I was the other woman and I cannot remember it now. It has posts by wives, hubs, and other women and other men. I think that you will relate to them better. Let me do some googling...so hold on... Link to comment
pixie1985 Posted April 8, 2010 Author Share Posted April 8, 2010 I think she should tell her husband first, before she just continues with the side relationship. If everyone's okay with it, then it's allright. But as of now, she's cheating and breaching the marriage contract. If you tell him you're cheating, that would be a pretty easy reason to divorce. lol. I like your answer Link to comment
mikeyx22 Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 pixie, do what you enjoy and for whatever reasons you enjoy it. Just be honest with yourself and if the "why" is truly a reason you'd rather not live with, then change the way you live. It's not for other people to make your judgement calls, especially on personal matters, unless you already know what you want and have trouble getting it. That said, is the breakup something you want 100%? Or are you staying with your husband for the excitement of the 'mystery man'? Link to comment
mikeyx22 Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 You are obsessing on what HE thinks about YOU. Why does it really matter? It's not exactly like you can have a committed relationship with him while you are married to someone else. Because she clearly likes him more? Link to comment
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