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Things going well then....pow right in the kisser!!

Welsh lad

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Heres the history....



Ok now we were both a little drunk last night, this is what happened


So she walked into a bar,clearly saw me but blanked me, ok i thought i smiled at her she definatley saw me.

Saw her a bit later in another pub, again she seemed really offish, talking to my mates but so far i didnt even get a hello. I approached her when she was talking with one of my mates, i just asked if everything was ok she said yea and carried on talking to my mate. He split up with his ex last year,she happens to be best friends with my current squeeze, my mate asked me "do you think she cheated on me" i said honestly yes i think so, my girl flew off the handle and said dont speak about her friend like that, i said it was only my opinion then she slapped me, in front of everyone. I put my drink down and walked out to cool down. Couple friends followed asked if i was ok.


I returned to the bar, still annoyed and still confused with what was happening.

I saw one of my good friends talking to her, it seemed quite heated. I walked over, i couldnt stand there watching,my friend said we both needed to talk. I asked her what her problem was,she said i had disrespected her friend,i asked why she was ignoring me,she said whenever she saw me i was talking to people (one of which was a girl but innocent).

Things started to heat up again as i argued my case, she stormed off home, i followed her.

We talked for a bit, basic jist is that she feels shes getting close to me and she cant allow it to happen,shes messed up, i said thats fine but theres no need to slap me or ignore me,she apologised for it,shes also not convinced i like her, she thinks that i "think" i like her, which isnt true, then she called me by her exs name, she totally freaked out and said "see whats happening"

I dont at all, totally confused,i havent pushed anything demanding to see her or asking if we can start seeing each other officially, ive just been there, talked when ive seen her, always replied to her text, iniated some etc.


I text this am apologisng if ive messed her head up, she replied saying shes sorry for hitting me and that whenever she goes out and gets drunk she upsets people so is going to stay in and away for people for a few months.


any advice what i can do? i think i should back off totally but i dont want her thinking im not interested anymore.

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So, she walks into a bar and ignores you while she clearly pays attention to one of your friends. She then turns her attention onto you in a undesirable fashion by slapping you in the face for simply answering a question. Then she blames it on you that she was ignoring you, proceeds to tell you she feels she's getting too close, tries to tell you how your feeling about her relationship-wise, then accidentally calls you by her exes name.


My honest advice is to give her a lot of space, maybe even leave. This girl sounds very very mixed up, and she sounds like she is seriously trying to push you away for whatever reason. Not to mention, like DN said, you can very well press charges against her for assault. If you want to keep the relationship, or what little there is of one, have some time to yourself, and let her have time to work out whatever issues that are making her act out like this. Myself personally, that woman would be looking for a new boyfriend after what she did, but that is just me.


Hope everything works out for you.

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This girl is in selfish mode for sure. That is what it is every time that this situation is in play where the object of desire strings along the desiree to enjoy their intimacy and attention but leave them starving for the commitment and admiration that they are granted. Maybe this girl is intrinsically selfish, maybe she is not. Either way, you have allowed her this behavior and even apologized for doing nothing while it was occurring, so it is safe to say that she understands that she can act this way, so she will. No question about it, the right thing to do is to walk away from this. You want more than friendship, and she is not even offering that. What she is providing is some awkward mutated relationship thing of confused romance friendship monster that eats your emotions for breakfast. I do not like the way she treated you, and I do not like the way you took it and practically made it your fault. You are not a doormat. This is a situation that would be good to hold your head up high and take the higher ground instead of letting your desires drag you through the mud. Be nice to her, but stop giving her your heart. Game over! Good luck

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I did feel stupid apologising but im not sure if youve read my 1st post (link above) we are all a big group of friends and it would split the group if we werent talking, a quick apology will hopefully smooth that over.


I definatley think im going to keep away for a duration,i wont ignore her IF she texts or calls but i wont go out of my way to speak to her either.


Just out of interest,the calling me by her ex bfs name, do you think that was done on purpose or slip of the tongue?

Once i called a previous gf by an exs name but it was because i found the same feelings i had for her in a particular moment, and a name i associated with being happy i think.

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Well i did text back, basically saying i wasnt impressed with her behaviour.

She said she feels she * * * * * everything up and that im far too good for her and that she thinks shes a horrible nasty person.

She said it was all her fault and ive done nothing wrong in the slightest, also she didnt mean to say she was trying to push me away, it was just a poor excuse for being nasty to me.

she feels "sick" thinking about it and wants to keep her head down for a few months and i dont realise how sorry she is.


I accepted her apology and told her not to beat herself up about it.


Next move just to leave things until she gets in touch? will probably be seeing her at a party friday night :s

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Dude, seriously? This is manipulative behavior at its finest. She said all the right things to pull you back in, just so she can flirt with some guy in front of you at this party and then apologize profusely again. If she had been short or mean with you, I think it'd be worth exploring, but this girl SLAPPED YOU IN THE FACE.


You're just giving her more and more opportunities to walk all over you.

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Ok, this girl sounds crazy. Just all over the place. Not a good girlfriend candidate. I realize you like her, but can you imagine what a relationship with her would be like? You'd be constantly appeasing her, trying to figure out how she really felt, dealing with her changing moods. Best to find another crush.


And to me it does honestly sound like you're a rebound - she enjoys the occasional kiss/cuddle and closeness but in terms of ACTUALLY being close to you is light years away and freaks out. You're entirely on her terms - kissing when SHE wants and being slapped when that's her mood. So yeah, I think she is using you to fill the gaps when she wants to kiss/cuddle.

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hmm im not so sure.

ive just got in from spending the night with her, basically she text this afternoon from work,general chat how are you etc, it got to this evening and i just asked if she fancied going out, she replied and said yea fine ill drive if you like.


we went up to a local lake,watched the sun go down then star gazed, cuddled,kissed a bit (i did hold back a bit) talked,laughed had agreat time.


10 mins after she dropped me home i got a text apologising yet again for the other night and thanking me for such a nice night and to let her know when im free next for us to do something.


will be interesting to see how things develop here...

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