am i really that naive?

[jayne27]

my boyfriend and i are long distance (san francisco-los angeles) but were doing well with communication and trust. on my end, i wasn't fully trusting because when we had a time of breaking up he would lie to me left and right and i would find out.

 

anyway, one weekend he comes home and we are at his family party. i'm playing on his phone and of course curiosity killed the cat. i looked at his text messages and he had a text from a phone number.

 

number: what can i do to thank you

boyfriend: you can give me a blow job

number: when do you come home

boyfriend: sunday, i'll hit you up then

 

 

i was disgusted and shocked and hurt at the same time. i confronted him about it later in the night and he said it was his coworker (male) 's girlfriends phone (coworker didn't have a cell phone) and they were joking around because my boyfriend had taken care of their cat.

it was strange to me but whatever i believed it for the time being.

later i looked on his coworker's girlfriend's facebook to look at her phone number and it was not this number on the phone (i wrote it down)

so i looked it up online and it was one of his friends from up there. now at plain sight value she is not his type.. if you know what i mean. i was disgusted and i brought it up again saying that was her number and i found out on a search and he just kept saying no he didn't know he thought it was the girlfriend and all this stuff. he swore he would never do that to me

 

in light of recent activity i am just thinking throughout the year on certain situations if i am being played for a fool. is he that good of a liar and has probably been cheating on me all this time? all his friends who know me said in his younger years he was some sort of womanizer.. but i have a tight grip on him and always know what he's doing..

 

i don't know. guys, is this something that could really happen? i've read books and articles and everything and supposedly guys take things at face value and do not investigate and are more whatever about things..

 

i dont know..

[HouseKitten]

in light of recent activity i am just thinking throughout the year on certain situations if i am being played for a fool.

 

Yes.

 

is he that good of a liar and has probably been cheating on me all this time?

 

No, he's not a good liar. It's not a very believable lie. But you didn't want to believe it was true, which is understandable but lets him get away with it.

 

all his friends who know me said in his younger years he was some sort of womanizer.. but i have a tight grip on him and always know what he's doing..

 

No one ever knows what their partner is doing every single second of the day, as evidenced by the fact that he was texting some girl and you didn't know about it. Also - having a tight grip on someone is not a desirable thing in a relationship. You shouldn't need to have one, you should be able to trust him.

 

i don't know. guys, is this something that could really happen?

 

Do men ever cheat on women? Honestly? You know the answer to that. If he's not physically cheating, which seems unlikely, then he's certainly flirting heavily and talking sexually with other women.

 

Lose this dead weight. He's lying to you.

[Jd1983]

I wouldn't believe him.

 

He lied to you and thought you wouldn't find out. I highly doubt he's being honest.

 

I'm sorry, but I think you need to really think things through.

[agent1607307371]

but i have a tight grip on him and always know what he's doing..

 

That's impossible. No one can know what someone else is up to all the time.

 

Tbh, you want to believe him, that means no matter how rubbish the lie, you'll believe him.

[lavenderdove]

He's obviously cheating... and a very lame and unbelievable excuse he gave you too... he's openly lying and hopes you're gullible enough to believe it.

 

Also, you don't have a tight hold on him if you live in different towns... he can do anything he wants when you're out of town, and you'll never know unless you catch him at it thru things like his phone. For all you know, he has several girlfriends in his own town, and tells them all he's out of town on business when he visits you.

 

But the truth is NO ONE has a tight hold on anyone else.... if a person wants to cheat, they will find a way to do it, and WILL do it. If he's a womanizer, he LIKES cheating, probably likes the excitement of it and having multiple women on the string juggling them at the same time.

 

Remember, trust is not based on your love for him or his words, it is based on his actions proving he is true to you and doesn't cheat. After viewing texts like that, you shouldn't trust him at all, and you should trust him even less if you confront him and he tells you some ridiculous stories about how the messages ended up on his phone.

 

The simplest explanation is the most reasonable one... of course he's seeing that girl, and having sex with her. There is no reason otherwise for those texts to be on his phone.

[maggie_rae]

think he is cheating on you.You shouldnt have to be looking on his phone for txt msgs. If you have to go trouble of getting sum 1 cell phone and then find stuff on it .Then i would back off and see what happens. If he is cheating he will show you then

[Billy Ray]

Sounds like he is cheating on you.

[mousey789]

Drop him like a bad habit, before he really does make you out to be a fool.

 

Trust me, I've been in a similar situation. A guy I was with had a roommate that did not have a cell phone. I noticed my bf texting a new girl at his work. I asked him about it and he said it was nothing. This was a girl I had heard his roommate mention having a small crush on, and my bf had said he was trying to hook him up with her. I wanted to believe it so I didn't question him. After he fell asleep his phone buzzed and I opened it. I saw that my guy had been flirting hardcore and even "sexting." When I confronted him about it he claimed he was pretending to be his roommate to get them together cos his roommate was too shy to talk to her himself. BS!!! He had never mentioned his roommate's name anywhere in any of the msgs. Turned out I was right to be suspicious. Don't believe this guy's cheap lies, not worth it.