Could u forgive your bf/gf for cheating?

[miracle29]

This is a wonderful topic...

 

I would forgive, for myself but not for the other person. "Judge and he shall be judged"....so I'd do it for me,

But i'd end the relationship if I was not married.

 

Me being married and having a child, I can't honestly tell you 100% what I'd do...but "hell hath no fury" is about as much as I can say about that right now.

[LL1979]

My ex cheated on me - and I forgave her. It was right around that stage in our relationship when I was in love with her but hadn't said it - yet.

 

One day during a 'rough patch', she rang me to say she wanted to take a break. I gave her a couple of days and then we met up to talk. She said she wasn't getting what she wanted from the relationship and I said I wanted to give her all I could. I told her I loved her and we patched things up. For a week or two, everything seemed back on track.

 

...until she told me on the phone how she had kissed someone else. A close friend of hers who she had known longer than me. She called over to my place and we talked. I was stuck between being angry she had done it, and wanting to reconcile. I told her a kiss was forgivable, if it was a mistake, and that I wanted to work it out. I forgave her.

 

But after that she told me she 'didn't deserve me'. A week later she dumped me over the phone. I felt partially to blame as I wanted her to know I loved her and perhaps left it to late to show her. We met up a few times after, and she told me she had feelings for the other guy. I said she was throwing something great away for no good reason. After that, I walked away and that was that.

 

My point is, if you forgive someone for cheating, it can backfire. It can be read as "yes you cheated on me but I don't mind being fooled around". They can lose respect for you. I should have dumped her on the spot when she told me she cheated. It would have hurt of course, but at least she might have regretted it and tried to reach out to me, I don't know. I was fooled around, I forgave her, and SHE dumped ME. I feel like a prize idiot, and a chump. This was a valuable lesson for me, and a painful one.