depression and pain being a comfort?

[EmptySoul]

i've come to notice that for some, their pain, depression, etc. becomes a comfort to them; they do not really know if they want to get better. this is a personal thing for me because it is how i feel and i really don't understand why i or anyone else would want to be this way, but i think i do. please reply and tell me, if you do feel like this why do you? or even people who don't feel like this but have an idea, thanks.

 

EmptySoul

[1Adam12]

I see where your going on this..sort of like a depressed person has becomed so acustomed to being in this state of depression that they really don't want to leave it because its comfortable to them and something that isn't a change to them.

 

Keep in mind some that suffer from depression don't respond to the medication or there is something else there other than the depression..that being a chemical imbalance that doesn't neccessarily respond to any drugs I've lost a friend to depression..he was on medication but just didn't respond and ended up killing himself over it..

 

Good topic though

Phil

[JonnyG]

I think its a case of feeling sorry for yourself is a comfort to u when u are depressed. The pain issue is to drag away emotional pain, at least thats what i think it does. I cut myself before when i was 16 (quite a bit of blood) i wouldn't admit it to anyone i know, because i think its a stupid thing to do and embarrassing, no offense to those here who do it . I don't know why i did it, but it made me feel a little better at the time.

[avman]

I think for some people, when it has gone on for awhile they really forget what its like to feel any different. So the depression and pain becomes the "normal" way to feel. And it actually becomes a little scary to step outside that comfort zone and want to feel any different.

 

I've had depression for a number of years, and its always radically different when the depression breaks and I go through a happy period. Its almost like I have to discover myself all over again because my perspective on everything has changed.

 

But if I had to choose between the two I would choose to not be depressed. When I'm down, too much of life just passes me by without my noticing or caring about it.

 

avman

[under_the_pressure]

Well...I mean...I like being happy, but I do find a comfort in being..isolated, lonely...stuck in my head where nobody else can reach me. I used to be really depressed but I got a little better ...I do feel how you do Empty. I mean, there is a comfort. Personally I don't think it's feeling sorry for yourself. It's just a comfort because you don't have to worry about anyone bothering you. You can be you, think what you want to and nobody can judge or reach you when you're in your head.

 

~Under~

[sisterlynch]

It is true that we are all used to feeling the way that we do and it is hard to change. Sometimes we need to change to overcome some barrier or obsticle that wasn't there or that we didn't see all along.

 

A lot of people do things to cover over their depression like get hooked on drugs alcohol or sex.

 

Some people try so hard to feel better when they are out in the real world, they need to have some down time when they are at home.

 

We all live with a certain amount of pain and depression in our lives. People often ignore pain and depression in those around them as they feel as though they can't do anything to help. Normally, finding someone to talk with about your feelings can indeed make the pain more manageable.

 

Some other things that I have found to help are meditation and proper exercise and a healthy diet. When you see your health care provider, make sure that you mention if you are going through a stressful period. Which I wouldn't doubt that we all are with the state of the world at this time.

 

Keep a sense of balance about you at all times. It is so easy to let things and people rule your world and never really think about yourself and how you fit in to things that are going on in your life. If you feel down or out, try and make some healthy changes a little at a time. Look for very small results. Because remember, small steps turn into leaps and jumps if you stary within a certain boundary of limits daily.

[dikaia880]

I'm right there....

I tend to be happier in my own self-pity...sounds weird but...sometimes it's just easier for me to sit around listening to sad music than to go out and be happy and out-going...I don't know why....When I was in college I loved when I was alone...I'd set my computer to play a ton of old sad songs like Smokey Robinson's tracks of my tears and (don't laugh even though it is pretty funny for guy) bonnie tyler's total eclipse of the heart...drink some beers and feel sad...sort of my way of letting the sadness and loneliness in my life out....

Also i think it might be because if you are sad, lonely, or whatever it's more comfortable to act that out rather than to put on a mask and pretend to be happy....

There are times when I am just happier to be sad...sounds odd but it's true....I haven't had one of my "drinking alone in the dark times" since I graduated college I sort of miss it!!!

(And by the way it does not make me an alcoholic...I say that because I am not, but everytime I tell someone thats what they assume!)

[earthfairy]

i agree with under the pressure... maybe i don't find comfort in being depressed, but sometimes it is when I am feeling this way that I am the most artistically inspired, and I seem to have this whole new perspective on the world. when I go back to my sometimes forced smiles and the happy-go-lucky me that society seems to prefer, I feel like I am deserting the real me. I hate conforming to what society dictates, but I often find myself doing just that. Its because its hard to find someone who you can explain these things to face to face and have them understand, and still want to be with you. Maybe this feeling isn't something I should change or try to hide, and maybe thats why at times i feel comfort in my pain.

[wendella]

I've only been on this board for a few days but I must say I love it. All of you members are so honest and real.

 

I think more people feel this way than they let on. If you go out into the world and really look people in the eyes you will see this. Unfortunately the world is full of pain and suffering. Some brought on by ourselves, other just the cards we were dealt.

 

I totally agree with the comment about self medicating our depression. Before I started to use drugs and alcohol, i to used to cut my arms just enough to feel it. I was about 14-15 then. It made me feel better. I recently read that why that makes us feel better and is addicting is that when we are hurt or hurt ourselves the natural reaction releases our natural opiates (natural pain killers we all have in our bodies) into our systems.

Just FYI.

 

As far as feeling comfortable in our pain, i totally hear that. I don't know why i am but i almost despise being happy at times. Go figure that one out. I think maybe whoever said it was about self-pity might be on to something. It is what we know we are used to, and we feel sorry for ourselves. I think if something bad has happened to us, it's ok to be sad for ourselves, and we should grieve, but if it goes into self -pity and thats all we concentrate on we need to talk to someone about it.

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

I wish you all the best.

 

Wendella

[Borashi]

I agree that everyone goes through depression at some point in their life, whether its a loss of a loved one, or getting fired from your job or a car accident. The key is to keep your mind on other things. My depression situation varies on a day to day basis, when I'm at my job I really don't notice it, at times my depression and pain is a comfort to me as I feel no one can get to me, but feeling that empty at times also makes me sad. I'm the type of person who'd rather be alone most of the time than go out, I used to fight my depression with drugs, drinking, sex, now I turn to a more positive activities: exercise, working out, reading, video games. I'm a huge crime fiction fan and reading allows my mind to escape from the everyday pressures of life without hurting my body physically and emotionally. Sometimes though I get trapped in my depression, where I feel like I have to strip myself down, be at my saddest level just to be pure. Another strange thing about me is that if another person I know is going through a painful situation a lot of the time i'll try to take that pain away from them and put it on myself so to speak. Like I've known a lot of girls through-out the years that have been sexually abused, and when I hear there stories, I feel like being the punisher/protector so to speak. I feel like getting "justice" for the victims, the ones with the hidden secrets.

Theo

[sisterlynch]

I guess that I have noticed that pain for me comes around transitions, moving to a new place in life or facing unforeseen challenges seem the worst. Paranoia often sets in over injustices or perceived insults. Sometimes these emotions sideline me and I have trouble moving through painful situations. I used to use denial or put off feeling bad until later, but then the stress still comes, it is just private stress, unavoidable at that point.

 

I am learning to stay in the moment more and not worry about the past and present so much, only that I am happy and do the best that I can to support those around me and give them direction and proper feedback. This is how I feel that I operate the best, with less responsibility and a steady supply of support and good will for those around me.

 

I also think it is important to note that depression is with most people who are under stress, it is just how we handle our down time that varies from person to person. Men gain a lot by working in the "real" world, whereas women tend to push their troubles aside and work within their strengths.

 

There are plenty of coping styles as diverse as the population. Most don't talk about their coping mechanisms unless they are directly asked. How we handle stress is different person to person.

[Shinobie]

Ya after so much time of feeling depressed i have come to the same problem although i think ive broken out of it and i am actually makign progress.I get to the point where i want bad things to happen sometimes because i am so used to it and thats hw my life usually goes.Ive been there man and dont worry about it because i am actually trying to break out of that shell and get the nerve to talk to girls such as the one i like and make myself happier you will find your way there.

[sisterlynch]

Just by taking small steps in the right direction, you will get to the place where you are going eventually. we all have things that we are good at and others the we are not so good at, sometimes by accentuating the positve, you can get to where you are going, quicker than dealing too much with the negative.