wendella

You live you learn, it's the simple fact of life.

alrighty boys here goes... Women like men use each other. Men tend to use for sex and stuff like that. Women use men for intimacy, attention, compiments, and feelings of being wanted, not to mention money and all that good stuff too. Not all men and not all women do but after reading this guys post I remembered what I was like when I was 20 something. I had men falling out of my pockets, and when one wasnt around giving my 20 year old self attention, i would switch to another. I was a selfish, immature baby that wanted her way. This girl just like a man will say whatever she can to keep you around if she feels that it is to her advantage. Even if it's just to keep her from being bored or to get the needed attention she wants. Not to mention that when women are in their 20's they have life and men by the balls. The irony is most don't know it. LOL Ok and if this is too harsh for you, sorry dont read it. Live in the dream world youv'e created. Sometimes the cold hard truth is the only thing that can snap ya out of it. So shockwave, women can be evil, liars, cheaters, just as good as men, its an equal opportunity thing. Sorry I hope you do find someone who treats you well. Just keep your eyes and heart open and your head on your shoulders. Try someone your own age too. most 20 somethings are not done playing around.

what she wants is you to show her that she is important to you. PERIOD she wants to be the exeption the rule of your not taking any phone calls for two days that is what people who love each other do sacrafice for each other, but you seem a little too self involved to do that unless you really do love her, and if you do then give of yourself i know my SO does and he gets thanked over and over and over again for it SALUTE!!

kind of curious how the first thing you said is that you have no demons. first syptom of most problems is denial I to used to cry from one of my eyes to, it was like a fountian opened and it just poured. I would cry while I was denying my emotions at the same time. How's that for similarities. I suggest and only suggest that you be real with yourself. Something is there you just have to have the courage to find it. Pills won't help, go to a therapist. She/he can help you find out why.

AND LOL to X-box!!! WE NEED MORE COW BELL!!! That was one of the greatest skits ever on SNL.

die of aids, one of the most famous GINA from the 80's got hooked on heroin and contracted it from a needle, and i will tell you that the models that do drugs regularly do not make it to the top they waste away and fall off into a world off crap like porn and junk like that when you are older and wiser then you will know you can only comment on something if you've been there otherwise you are assuming are you a model do you do drugs and you are sucessfull?

oh and one more thing, my sister goes to that church occasionally still, she is 21, and she told me things i can't believe from such "christian"people like some of the members in line to be an elder just can't wait for the elders to die so that they can take their spots after they pass. one of the "christians" who ran a strict christian camp was caught with freaking porn at the camp where there are hundreds of kids there every year and the list goes on that is scary..

in all the posts when people say there are a christian the next sentence or so they are self-defeating and sound really guilty I am telling you if that's your way of life, that's cool but hey you don't have to live like that. Feeling guilty all the time. And yes you will still go to heaven. People have truly ruined GOD with religion. PERIOD

I have been there too. I was raised in a strict christian home, no TV, no radio, no cutting our long hair, no pants for us girls, only skirts, church 4 times a week. God did not intend us to have to try and be perfect. IF WE WERE PERFECT WE WOULD BE GOD!!!! I am no longer affiliated with that religion. I know, I know christians think that christianity is not a religion and the only way to god. I've never quite believed that one religion has the rights to god. I have been through to many things in my life to count or comment on, some brought on by me and some by others, but I will tell you I have lived. If you have read some of my post you know. After all I have seen in this world, I understand the want to do the next right thing, and that is all god expects us to do. Goodness is what is love, being humble, helping others, and giving of ourselves when we might not want to. Not bow down and do silly things. We serve others; help them when we can, try to be the best human being we can be, but after all we are only human. Now I am not saying go out and do bad things because after all god has to forgive, but please as a recovering Christian, don't think that god is going to strike you down for swerving off the path. If you truly believe, you know that no matter what you do god will always love you and he is always there for those who seek him. You don't have to try to be perfect. Stop doing it, and no matter what those crazy Christians think, like you know the ones, the ones who take the bible literally and verbatim, just know that you don't have to be like them and you can still have a relationship with god. And here's a kicker for you, my grandfather was a Christian preacher and I have attended I think every Christian conference in the northern Midwest. I know today that god is whatever I imagine him/it/her to be. No one truly knows and if you think you do know what god is, hmm you are a little vain. So to all, keep your faith belief and love, especially for yourself. You are all you've got, treat others and yourself good! GOD = GOODNESS not GUILTY CONSCIENCES AMEN!!!

hydrox, zen, diet fuel, ripped fuel they all have the same effect all work

The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of Recently, I got an email from a woman who had all the "right stuff" in her marriage. However, after many years in this union, she was deeply unhappy and in a state of despair. How could this be? With all this stuff going on, there must be love in there somewhere. (Just as the young boy said when confronted with a pile of manure, "There must be a pony in here.") She and her husband had a nice home, fancy cars and a good income. But, the key is that none of these things had anything to do with love. They're just things. It often seems we want to get into relationships for love, but we end up staying because of "stuff." Stuff is how we measure our successes. Stuff is how others judge us. We get so attached to our stuff that we are willing to put up with misery and pain. We are willing to trade our happiness just to hold on to the stuff. In fact, we're paying for it with our lives. Are you really willing to sell your soul for a duplex? Look, I know it's not that simple. I know (from experience) that when you're entwined financially in a relationship it's very hard to unravel. It has taken you years to set up the household, the routine and the utilities. But, are the television and stereo really more valuable than the fulfillment of your own life? Do you really want to make a dining room set the battleground for your frustration? I know starting all over again is expensive and time consuming. I've been there. I had some really cool stuff, and now I don't anymore. But, now I have other stuff. And, most importantly, I have my happiness and peace of mind. After I left the 3-bedroom house (filled with designer Italian furniture and a stereo that cost as much as the price of a small car) and moved into a little apartment with a futon and cushions on the floor, I couldn't have been happier. I did a little dance. I had less of everything, except contentment. And, that was worth everything to me. If you stay in a relationship because you're afraid of losing the "stuff," you're making a very bad trade. If I've said it once, I've said it 4,978,543 times (or thereabouts), everything in life is a trade-off. Stay in an unhappy relationship because of the stuff, and you'll have things but no happiness. Leave the relationship and the stuff for happiness, and accept you might have an uphill slog to get everything back. The decision is yours. The life is yours. There is ALWAYS an alternative, always a choice you can make. Of course we'd like it to be easy and painless, but it probably won't be. There is generally always a cost associated with change, one way or another. But what is that compared to the cost of a life stuck in the molasses of misery? I just think life is too short to spend unhappy. How productive can you be, how much love can you give to your friends or children if you're miserable yourself? As far as I know, we only get one go-round on this planet. Don't waste another day. Show the world what stuff you're made of.

are just not willing to compromise and do the work, all realtionships are wok and the fire must be fanned even when you dont mean it be nice and try and things will get better

I know how it felt to be 16 and think that there was no hope... I did turn to partying I drank and got high and did whatever was put in front of me thinking that no one cared and I wanted to piss the world off and hurt everyone. Well I only hurt myself. It is true what everyone is saying, you want the drug to escape from pain and life. It does do that it at first, then it gets evil and becomes your god. You will do anything for it, inculding having sex with anyone. You may say ya right I would never do that. That is what I said when I was younger to. Then I was addicted and none of the morals I thought I held highly mattered. You will do ANYTHING for that drug, anything girl. If you don't believe me go to a local treatment center and ask to talk to some of the women there. You can look in a yellow pages for one. I am telling you, you will be looking at yourself in 15 years if you take that path. You have many things to look forward to if you do, AIDS, getting beat up, having sex with men older than your dad, sleeping on the street, not bathing, and perhaps the best of all dying. so dont do it get some help please

oh totally, i read in a magazine once the a good guilty pleasure is looking in all relfective surfaces you can ha ha sometimes its good to check yourself out, like before an interview, date, etc. or just to give yourself a boost. and hurah for all the leo sisters out there god love ya!

Oh my a topic I love, been there all my life but yes now that I am also 30 I notice it getting a little out of control for a couple weeks before. I have been on the patch for a couple months and the pill for years. Nothing seems to help, I saw an ad for zoloft that if taken a couple weeks before that it could help sabatoge the pmt pms. Ok so i havent tried that one yet but i just might. Just my 2 cents from a fellow sufferer.

The only way out is to face your demons. I lived for 29 years with the horrors of my past, the only way out is to face them. There is a reason it is called "going through something" and not "going around something" you mentioned that you has something in your past. Face it, you will feel it wholly and may consume you for quite some time but it is the only way. I used every medication legal and illegal to numb myself and it got to a point where I didnt need the medication to numb (which is what you are talking about) and I could just numb myself by disconnecting with reality. Like spacing out for days. It's called a disassociation disorder. It's like when you break your leg, the pain is so great your body produces natural pain reliever. Well when your emotional pain is so great your body naturally disassociates and that is why you are numb. You, like I, have a demon. Something in your past that haunts you, face it with a professional and hopefully it helps. Otherwise ignore it and expect to be numb. I did it for a long time. I still am depressed and numb somedays but there are times when I feel little slivers of joy. And not being on meds is right on, don't do it or you wont feel any joy...... ever.

Ok I have been on cheater and cheatee side of this so number one the person is always on the defense a new colonge or new clothes a sudden care about their appreance working out not being home when normally are if you are a woman TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS ask yourself if they are from you head or in your gut if the instinct is in your gut then you are probably right they are cheating not looking in the eye ignoring you or overly attentive strange phone numbers on his her cell phone hang ups at home that guilty look going out with business people clients all together too much excuses hope this helps just trust your instincts. wendella

ps - and avman has a good point too, although I wouldn't put up with the ex sleeping over for a second, maybe there is a reason, ask him in a civil manner what it might be, does he have a history of lying or covering up?? I really don't think there could be a ligitmate reason, but it might be worth asking, it sounded like in your message that you had made up your mind. Has he decided to be with his ex? sounded like it.

I hope that you can get past this, I know it may be too soon to think about it. It sounds like you go the wind knocked right out of you. Be sure to take care of yourself, we women and men sometimes forget to do that when we are in pain. Treat yourself to whatever it is you like to do or have. That situation sounds really messy, I would run fast and hard the other way. If he said those hurtful things to you I don't think he cares much anymore, with the ex sleeping over and all. Yikes!! Concentrate on yourself and not him, when you have feelings of worthlessness and sadness you can live through them without stooping to his level, they are only feelings and will pass. Get yourself around some good girlfriends or family you can talk to, they are good medicine for bad breakups. Don't isolate yourself, cause then it will only be you and your mind and emotions, yuk, that hurts. You are you with or without him and maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Maybe this is just the beginning of a time in your life with a lot of change, it's always darkest before the dawn!!

I have had those hairs too just little ones but i think it gets worse with age and hormone changes.. I use this stuff called veet, its a cream that you leave on and it takes it away for a few weeks, but be careful cause its powerful and can burn your skin if you leave it on for to long and if you tan don't tan for a few days after you use it or it will discolor your upperlip and make it really dark looking, that one was an embarrasment otherwise if you have the cash i say totally get electrolysis, it is totally the way to go, if your not a heiress do the cream or waxing thing...

I must say all you girls are great, I really have not seen so many women who respect themselves and have thier heads on straight IRL. Way to go! to enforcer - I totally understand your frustration, but take a minute to think what your motive with her are and reasses what you want from her and with her.... and check out the post that is titled "is she playing hard to get, do women ever open up?"

I really like the post that said when you have a bad day the person you love and loves you can make you smile, you can feel thier love even through sad or mad emotions, and that they respect you and you respect them, so important. that is awesome! I know that love is something like a flower, it grows when you tend to it, it gets bigger and better over time, it comes in many colors and varieties, when the sun shines on it it opens up, sometimes a petal wilts but it will grow another one, when protected during a freeze it will come back to life when the weather gets better.

Fatfeline: just to point one thing out - notice the advice that is coming from the more mature guys... it is right on! Not to rip on the younger one but with age comes experience and less hormones, you start to understand the other side of the species better. although the list is funny - ha ha ha if you really like this girl and you want to have a relationship with her be her friend and it might grow into something bigger and better. Maybe she is just respecting herself, and honestly that is the type of woman that is worth the time and patience. Would you really want someone that is way too easy? Think of it like this remember waiting for christmas morning when you were a kid?? How much you looked forward to it and how excited you were?? and when you finally got to open the presents how it was everything and more you expected it to be?? Now think of this situation as a woman, and I don't mean just the physical side, her mind and person too. You said she already kissed you with passion, so she obviously likes you. Just let her take her time and she will let you know when she is ready to be kissed like that again. maybe along with the hugs ask her to hold your hand, talk to her and let her know you won't hurt her, be there for her and be consitant, that will let her know that you are around to get to know her and are really interested in her... the rest is up to you, it all depends on how much you like her and if your willing to patient.

eeeeeeew what kind of gross nasty pig does he work with a woman no less yikes she gives us gals a bad name

Gizza - totally! I think all we can do by being insecure and putting the sqeeze on is drive them away. Acceptance Acceptance Acceptance they will do what they do they will