Encouragement message…maybe

[TR]

Just to let everyone know, I am not 100% sure myself if something changed in current relationship with my ex. But here's the story...

 

So, I spent this weekend with my ex. Little back ground: link removed

 

To sum it up in few words: AWSOME!!!! We haven't had so much fun in a long time! I am still smiling from ear to ear.

I haven't seen her for 2 weeks after she told me that she's seeing some one, and when she picked me up from airport, I could see it in her eyes that she was scared. So I hugged her tight and told her not to be scared, everything is fine, etc. After that she became herself and all my problems (about our relationship) drifted away. It felt like in the old days - when we were still together. Even if the conversation was about her new bf, I kept it cool and it was just like a conversation about some unimportant person.

So for 4 days straight, we basically did everything that we would do if we were bf/gf, except sex and French kissing. We slept in same bad, we hugged, we held hands, massages, kisses on lips, cheeks... She kept on telling me how much fun she's having and I just kept it up! Waking up at 7 every morning, playing tennis, rollerblading, running, picnic, movies, restaurants, shopping, just walking around or watching TV, reading books to each other (she always wanted me to start reading more and we bought a book for me).

 

Anyways at the end of the second day, she told me that she made a mistake and that she has feelings for me too. (This day I mentioned that I might be looking for a gf because I need someone to share my love with, but at the same time I would always take her back. I could see that she was thinking something for a while after I said that). I know her better than palm of my hand and I could see love shining from her sweet smile. As I said in previous posts, she has some problems with her current bf. Specifically, he doesn't pay attention to her as much as she wants. She mentioned that I am much more romantic with her. She also said that I am the person she can see herself spending the rest of her life with because I am crazily in love with her (she said that she knows that I will love her forever and that I am so nice to her, it's unreal). And, she said that she realized that she started to date this guy because of need, not love, and our relationship was based on very strong and perfect love (remember, we had temporary a LD relationship). For the first time since we broke up, she mentioned couple of times phrase "if we get back together again".

 

Today, when she dropped me off at the airport, we hugged for a really long time (she held me really tight and kissed my neck) and we kissed on lips and she said that she likes my soft lips. She said that she's very sorry for what she put me through and the she has to do the right thing and give that guy a chance because he also broke up with his gf. That kinda didn't sound good to me, what do your guys think? Maybe she just needs more time. I seriously don't see anything changing in their relationship and I think that there is a chance that we will get back together.

 

Anyways, today we talked couple of times on the phone and she told me that she's missing me and when I suggested to visit her again in a month, she said that she would gladly visit me instead.

And by the way, our vocation is still a go!!!!

 

DO YOU GUYS SEE ANY GOOD OR BAD SIGNS HERE?

[dikaia880]

I see good signs...I think you should maybe back off a bit...don't give her proverbial cake just so that she can eat it too...if that makes any sense...Don't back off too much but I like where your at...If what you say about her current (and waht she says) relationship there probably won't be much to it and it probably won't last long...You said temporary LD how much longer (and how long so far) do you have unitl it's not LD?

Best of luck!

 

I like the news...sort of a similar situation for me...

[woobiegirl]

Hi TR,

 

Wow, sounds like you two had a week-end in "Paradise!" From what you wrote, the two of you spent more quality time together than most do in a month! It definitely sounds like the "chemistry" was hot in the air, but you both played it cool. That was smart. I'd suggest giving it more time, you definitely gave her ALLOT to think about when she goes home, especially if she's not getting the same caring treatment from her current b/f, which doesn't sound like it's too promising by the comments she made. She has made it very clear that she still cares...or maybe that know she realizes how special you really are.

 

I'd suggest giving her a bit more time, as she is probably confused now. More than likely, she will now be comparing her current b/f to you, and realizing the special things you do and the special way you make her feel. No one can take that away...it's a feeling that's in your heart, it's either there or it isn't. She will realize on her own that you are the one for her and that her happiness is with you. I'd say the outlook looks positive...congratulations, it's wonderful to hear a happy ending!

 

Take care and best wishes!

Woobiegirl

[ravens_folly]

She said that she's very sorry for what she put me through and the she has to do the right thing and give that guy a chance because he also broke up with his gf.

 

 

What the hell?? That is stupid, I don't think I ever heard something so stupid... not to be rude... but if she thinks your better for her than he is, what the hell is she giving him a chance... basically she's leading him on and seeing where's he's going when its obvious she still seems to have feelings for you.

 

Terrible!!!

 

I think she should break it off with him now, and go back with you by the sounds of that post. But who knows what else is going on....

[TR]

She said that she's very sorry for what she put me through and the she has to do the right thing and give that guy a chance because he also broke up with his gf.

 

 

What the hell?? That is stupid, I don't think I ever heard something so stupid... not to be rude... but if she thinks your better for her than he is, what the hell is she giving him a chance... basically she's leading him on and seeing where's he's going when its obvious she still seems to have feelings for you.

 

Terrible!!!

 

I think she should break it off with him now, and go back with you by the sounds of that post. But who knows what else is going on....

 

Thanks for support guys!

About this quote... I think she said it because she is still thinking about what happened (breakup) and she's still digesting our great weekend. Probably needs more time like everyone said. Later on today she talked about getting a cat and she said that she would buy a kitty when she moves back to Boston or when I (then she paused and said "or someone else") moves in with her. She NEVER even mentioned moving back to Boston since she moved to DC. And I was very pleased that she mentioned me moving in with her.

Our LD is 1.5 years now (we dated over 2 years before she had to move). During LD, we remained a couple for 1 year and about 2-3 month (visited her at least once a month and couple of full weeks), but then she said she wants to be friends. (Our relationship was ALWAYS perfect, so LD is the only problem, even she said that). The thing is that she doesn't have any family/relatives or good friends in DC, she was very lonely, so this guy took advantage IMO. I made a terrible mistake by taking a job in Boston instead of going for Masters in DC. And I already told her that I will never leave her alone again. I am planning to move there as soon as she breaks up or in December, whichever comes first.

[raider5]

TR

 

The question many want to know is:

 

If you didn't try and be her friend do you think you would still have gotten her back (assuming you get her back in the end)?

[TR]

No, I honestly think that if I broke the contact, I'd never have a chance, or at least would have, but a very slim chance.

I say that because she mentioned numerous times that she's shocked that I am still so good to her after she hurt me so much and that she truly believes now that I am crazy in love with her. (Before we broke up, she thought that I just "need" her).

 

As an update, I sent her a very special "Thank You" card for the great weekend that we had together. She got it yesterday night. I was already sleeping and she called me. We had a lovely talk and before we hang up, she told me "don't worry, I am home and I am alone". Meaning that she's not with him.

 

I don't know exactly how to interpret it, but a lot of times either I or her say "I love you" at the end of conversation. Today, we said it at the same time and we both laughed, it was a sweet moment.

 

Another update... I received a job interview notice this Friday (for D.C. where she lives). (I am still looking just in case). So I asked her, should I call or not. I said that I don't want to move to D.C. and live alone. She quickly replied that I would live with her. But she said, "what will I tell this guy, he'll be pretty upset".

So I guess she is still seriously considering to get back together. Today she said that we should talk about this interview, she wanted to think about it.

 

Should I tell her anything if she asks me what I want/think? Or just tell her to do what she feels is right (follow your heart)? Or maybe it's a good moment to explain to her that I want to make her happy for the rest of my life and I want to follow my heart and move to D.C.?

 

Anyways, in my case (at least in my case), being friends with her helps me out a lot. We already locked the date for a week vocation and I will probably purchase the tickets tomorrow. She knows that I wanted to propose to her on this vocation (told her after we broke up), so who knows what will happen.