need help =(

[getbiii]

so here is my story cut down to a short version

 

ex girlfriend dumped me went on the rebound,

things happened i got tired started to ignor her,

she then noticed she loves me and what not, dumped her rebound and we were working on US.

the first week was going so good, she was happy i was happy we had plans and everything.

turns out she had become deprressed sometime while with her rebound, i guess because she never healed and missed me,

yeterday i saw her, she came over to my house and we had fun everything was going good.

her rebound texted me saying "shes all yours bro"

i ignored it, i guess she got a text from him to, she later left

turns out the rebound went by my house to see if she was over,

she later texted me saying "dont text me or call me to this numer im giving the cell phone back, talk to you later"

(her rebound had bought her cellphone for her and was still paying it.

 

later came and she did call me but from the hospital.....

i dont know what happened with that guy but her depression crashed on her and she ended up at the hospital.

whats worse is her mom is blaming me for it,

at first i talked with her and she seemed fine and told me not to worry,

i then texted her asking if there was anything i could do for her or if i could go see her,

she told me to not call or look for her daughter again, if i love her to let her goo =(

 

this hurt so bad!

why are they blaming me for this?

shold i lose hope and not call her anymore?

 

what do you guys think??

am i really responsable for her being like this?

 

i sent her a email telling her im here for her and that i would like to know how she is doing,

i told her, her mom asked me to stay away from her and that i was going to respect her choice,

but i told her that i am here when ever she needs me....

[KeepMe]

All you can do is be there for her, she obviously can't make up her mind and that's on her. She isn't cluing you in on what's going on, or making an attempt to communicate with you, so your left in the dust.

It sounds a bit' like she is a drama queen (no offense) like someone is trying to make it a soap opera. Unless you happened to leave a part of the story out, I'm not sure how any of it is your fault. I can tell you that from my personal experience I had a guy who was the ultimate drama queen, really annoyed me. We would be great for a while, then something would change. We fought almost every other week, and he would pull the whole "Just let me go, we love each other so much we're just hurting each other, let me rest in peace." I was thinking "Are you serious? This isn't a romance movie!"

 

We split up, I really can't stand people like that. It would be best to get out of this situation as soon as possible. But if it's something that you want to pursue than it's up to you. I feel you are doing the right thing giving her some space, and keeping her aware that you are indeed there for her.

If I were in your shoes, I would not text or call, or communicate with her in anyway until she contacts you first. Let her come to you once she clears her head and gets the depression out.

If she does happen to contact you, don't play games with her. Let her know you want to communicate, so you aren't all confused and lost like you are now.

 

 

**Edit**

 

I don't mean this in a rude way by any means, but after reading your other post you seem kind of like an obsessive person. You don't seem to be letting her breathe, her mom may very well be annoyed with you. It's understandable that you are interested and definitely concerned about this girl, but messaging her parents every so and so hours is only going to annoy them. Also from the sounds of your threads I get a vibe that you don't know her parents to well, if this is the case then you probably really are annoying them a lot.

If I had a daughter and a boy that I didn't know much about was messaging me a lot, I too, may blame him for stress. You can't hassle people a whole lot, as hard as it may be, you have to let them come to you.

[DN]

I think you should take her at her word and let her go. She is in no fit state to be in a relationship with anyone right now and you are not the one to help her through her issues. She needs professional help that you are neither qualified or in a position to give her.

[getbiii]

yeah well it seemed like she had made up her mind, she told me she realized that she loves me, that she wanted to be with me and that she was not compatible with that guy that they shared nothing in common and that he was obssesed with her, she told me that even thou she didnt like him that he was a nice guy and didnt want to hurt him, i guess she was having a hard time finding the way to dump him,

[getbiii]

p.s. her parents are giving her tramadol, which is a pain killer and serves as an anti depressant in some cases, but it was not prescribed to her by any one at all, they just decided to give it to her becasue her dad takes it too,

her parents have never liked me and have asked before that i not be with her,

they are really awfull people and have caused her more damage than i,

they have abused her, beat her, caused her bulimia etc..

 

i am only guilty of loving her

[XxJustMexX]

Out of curiosity, how old is she? If she's an adult, then her parents really can't say anything about you seeing her. I respect having to respect parents and all, but some parents are just seriously crazy...

[KeepMe]

her parents have never liked me and have asked before that i not be with her,

they are really awfull people and have caused her more damage than i,

they have abused her, beat her, caused her bulimia etc..

 

i am only guilty of loving her

 

 

Well if that is all true than maybe she needs to talk to someone about that professionally, there are people that help the abused. However, that's on her to do that. If she really needs help/out of her parents hands then you can talk to her about getting professional help, and advise her to help get out of the house if she is abused. In the end only she can make her mind up on that, you pretty much have to wait for her to make the move. You can't be clingy right now, and she really needs to figure herself out. As said above me, she is really not in any place to be with you, or anyone else.

[getbiii]

she called me today, her parents locked her in an asylum, they really don't know whats best for her. she says she only gets a 15 minute recess and her parents visit her so i can't see her, i asked her how long she was going to be there, she said she didn't know... she told me she doesnt want to go back home. im willing to take her away, not only because i love her but because i wanna help her. the phone call ended before we could say goodbye, i promised her she would be better and i told her she could call me when ever and that if she ever needed anything i am here for her, i hope to hear from her soon...

 

this tells me she does love me and isn't mad at me or anything, she chose to call me becaue she wanted,

she had called in the morning but i was able to answer and i had no idea who it was becuase it showed no number.

 

also it seems she is there by force and not voluntary,

 

 

i just hope this ends soon so we can be together,

she has always had problems and i have helped her,

she always wanted to escape and leave home....

[iBroken]

Wow - is this story for real? Cause it sounds like a plot from some tween hollywood movie?

 

I dont know what to tell you about this situation. It is definitely a toxic one. You seem to be exhibiting signs of co-dependency. Unfortunately, its not your place to help this girl.

 

Something about this whole situation sounds suspect. She got beat down by her rebound and her parents had her "commited"? But you cant confirm this by seeing her?

 

Personally, if I were you, I would leave her in the Asylum, let her get the help she needs (If she really has been committed) and work on yourself. There isnt any reason why there needs to be this much drama?

[getbiii]

all this is true, if you only knew everything with detail, you would know why it was so hard for me when i lost her, after we fought for so much to be together.

 

she called me again this morning....

we talked about that place and how they treat her,

she said she had to leave i heard someone talk to her...

i asked her what her therapist thought about all this,

she said they told her she is dependant on other people way to much,

that she wants to make everyone happy.

 

things confuse me even more everytime,

i mean, she saw me alone and she saw i was happy with out her.

she told me this herself that it hurt her to see me happy.

 

however it does explain why she was still with that guy,

because her parents liked him and she said he was obssesed with her,

that she didnt want to hurt him, but she wanted to be with me again and didn't have feelings for him,

 

this makes me wonder if she calls him too? =S

maybe its not idea to talk to her anymore if she does,

i wouldnt like her confusion to keep going.

 

 

 

 

if she does call again what should i say?

i wanna keep her cheerful or at least keep the conversation away from all this,

 

i know its best for her to stay there, what i mean is when the time comes and it will come, when she is ready to leave... she says she doesnt want to go home, i am willing to accept her.

 

i know i need to be strong for her,

and work on me now more than ever because two depressed people can't make a couple,

i wanna help her get better but at the same time i don't wanna push her away,

i don't know if she is still talking to the other guy.

[getbiii]

Something about this whole situation sounds suspect. She got beat down by her rebound and her parents had her "commited"? But you cant confirm this by seeing her?

 

i didn't get that, what do you mean by commited? and what do you mean i can't confirm what by seeing her?

 

her rebound didn't beat her,