ToF Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Hi guys, I'm feeling HORRIBLE right now, made a big mistake, and I just really need to talk.. This morning, my boyfriend left early in the morning to go study (it's finals week), and I stayed home. When i woke up I texted him. I fell back asleep, woke up about 2 hours later to no response and texted him again, asking him where he was so I could come and study with him after I worked out. I had also called him during this time, but he didn't pick up. Well, I have this issue with him not calling/texting me back. It's normally not even an issue, but if I feel like he's ignoring me I start to get really upset (a past ex really mistreated me this way, and I'm still getting over the feelings of anxiety). I thought he was just being dumb, and I got really mad and told him he needed to "stop with the silent treatment". Then I went to the gym, leaving my phone at home. I came home to find out that he had been IN A FINAL the entire time I was pitching a hissy fit. He sent me 2 texts, one telling me he had been in a final and asking me why I was freaking out. The other one said how BADLY the final went, and coming out of the test to see those texts was pissing him off. I feel like absolute you-know-what right now. I am on the verge of tears, and can't even talk to him because he's in another final. I know it's not the end of the world, but I feel so horrible. Any thoughts? Ways to handle this? -TOF Link to comment
Shortpants Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I would be honest with him and tell him what a goober you feel like and apologize. Maybe bring him some treat as a peace offering? I usually bring hubby peanut butter cups when I've been an azz, they are his fave. In the grander scheme of things this is really not a huge thing, but an honest "I'm sorry" is warranted. Just letting him know how horrible you feel should be enough. Good luck! Link to comment
JewelsInTx Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I would just apologies and leave it at that and remember next time to just walk away. I usually type it out and not sent it. for some reason it works just to type it out. The majority of the time it works and when I get a response back I usually feel retarded for jumping the gun but glad that I never sent a crazy text. I guess you should just tell him that you are sorry and that you will work on being more patient about things. Link to comment
Greggie Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Can't really say anything other than what you did wasn't bad at all; you did not know he was in a final, nor did you know that it would go badly. He's just upset right now because of the outcome of his final, but he will calm down. Trying to place myself in his position, what I would want from you right now is just a simple apology (though you in principle did nothing wrong, but of course, pissy messages from you is not the greatest thing to receive after he just feels his final went to sh*t) and to remind him that one bad performance on a final is NOT the end of the world. Tell him to see this in the greater picture; that one final will equal oh so little in the grand scheme of things. You could also explain about your past relationship and how it left you paranoid and promise to work on yourself (and you must to do this!) and not bring your last relationship's baggage into this relationship. He is NOT your ex, and should not be punished for your ex's wrong-doings. But all in all, don't worry He'll get out of the second final soon and I'm sure everything will be alright then... Link to comment
Speranza Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Apologise and learn a lesson! No exam is longer than three hours - if you have an issue with someone not texting back within three hours you seriously need to get a grip before you drive away everyone who cares about you! (But you know that, right?) Just grovel and remember when his exams are for the rest of the week!!! Link to comment
I_Speak_Jive Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Oh honey. A big mistake is putting the cat in the microwave to dry it after its bath. This is a little nothing, you'll see. I cannot tell you how many times I have said or done something stupid in a relationship because I acted without thinking. It happens to all of us: we have all snapped at our partner that one time we were super-stressed at work, or interpreted an innocent comment in the worst possible way, or been absurdly needy and demanding for no reason whatsoever. We are human. When your bf gets home, put on your biggest puppy eyes, tell him you feel like a twerp, give him a big hug and let him vent a little about the exam. And then get him some cheesecake. Everybody loves cheesecake. Link to comment
ToF Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 Lol @ ersatz! Thank you all soooo much! I just called my mom and blubbered a bit, and she basically said the same thing. Just say sorry, buy him some goodies and let him be upset for a bit. I just feel like a dumb girl for being SO needy, but I guess it happens to all of us sometimes. I know how important these exams are, and I just want him to be able to concentrate without worrying about this! Speranza had a really great point about being able to wait. I need to really work on my patience. I have been so much better lately, but sometimes I just lose my grip. (It being that time of the month NEVER helps, either) Link to comment
Speranza Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 You'll be fine! Love the sig! Link to comment
ToF Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 Thanks Well he just texted me saying, "Done". Which I suppose means he's done with his test. I asked how it went, and got no response. I called and he didn't pick up. So...I guess he's pretty mad. I just got back from the store. I got some of his favorite things, so I hope he comes home soon. I just wonder if it'll make any difference... EDIT: Just came home. He didn't look really upset, but he went straight to the bedroom and when I went to show him what I bought, he just said he didn't want to talk about it right now. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Oh my...Done could mean something not very good. I sure hope not. Never get impatient with men, they operate on a different time frame that we females do. Link to comment
ToF Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 We talked about things, and it turned into a discussion of me being too possessive lately. I didn't even know I was doing that Link to comment
thejigsup Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Like I said...different creatures from us. Learn to think like a man, they LOVE it! Link to comment
Speranza Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 It's a wake-up call, Sweetheart. He is NOT your Ex!!! Make sure you get - and keep - A Life. Then you'll not be worrying about him all the time. I was just the same many years ago - now I wonder how my ex husband didn't suffocate, poor guy!!! It'll be fine, just RELAX!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 Youch. It's good you know you stepped in it. You have an opportunity to wash your shoe off, and get the stink off, and hopefully be more careful where you walk. Also, 'satz is right on with cheesecake. Link to comment
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