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I suppose I'm...not ready for dating yet.


Mguy92

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I just had a first date about six days ago, and well, it was alright. I'm not too sure if I'm quite attracted to the girl, though. I haven't talked to her since, and I thought

 

Well, maybe I'm just not ready for this sort of thing.

 

It was weird. I was almost dreading going out. Outwardly, I was confident about it, but inside, I was nervous as all hell. I think I'm just far too shy to want to do anything further. Not only that, but I just don't care much either. I'm 17, turning 18 at the end of this year, and I'm not ready for dating. It's far too nerve-wracking for me, and I know that it very well should not be. I'm far more content being alone. Being an only child, I'm quite used to it.

 

Also, I'm not sure if I have much of a desire to have a "relationship," as much as I just want sex. No, I'm not a jerk or anything, that's probably just the hormones talking. I would never use a girl just for sex. It's not really in my being to hurt anyone. I don't care if I never get kissed, or have a girlfriend, or have sex. I feel content enough on my own. I'm sure this will change in the years to come when I'm on my own, because clearly I'm still living with my parents, but for the time being, I remain apathetic. I don't even care about finding a date for the prom. It's all trivial to me.

 

Is it normal to be like this at my age?

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I was like that too when I was 17 and 18 years old. I wasn't as interested in things like that as everybody else around me. Like you, to me, it seemed so trivial and more like a waste of time than anything. So I didn't conform to the hormonial trend back during that time; I stayed on the outside and just tried to do little basic things to get my life in order. College, work, studying and trying to become somebody someday. And like you, I always thought there was something wrong with me for being different. Had a lot of doubts back then about where I was going and who I was becoming. Because everybody else seemed to be getting involved in relationships and doing the grown folk business, and here I was standing on the outside of all of that looking in.

 

It wasn't until recently, very recently that as I had gotten older I realized a lot of that stuff really isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Relationships are going to come and go in your life; so there's always going to be time for that as long as you allow yourself the opportunity to experience those things. The key is, don't be in such a rush though. That's how a lot of positive young folks get caught up in things; they rush. Trust me, women will be there and as you get a little older most of them mature and get a little better.

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It's ok, not everyone puts so much priority on being in a relationship as compared to working, friends, etc. I'm sure you'll go through plenty of first dates where the interest is just not there. Keep a positive attitude and be on the lookout for girls that interest you.

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Well hey, focus on what matters to you now. Some people get distracted by dating in school as teens and never really have any focus. I have never dated anyone from, in, or through a school I went to. I'm fine with that, and don't think there's anything wrong with it. If someone is going to give you the cold shoulder because of lack of experience, then that person is not worth being around to begin with.

 

I didn't meet my first girl until 6 months ago (we recently split up), just before I turned 23. It's all good. I didn't think about dating until a couple years ago. My very first date was with some girl I met through craigslist. We ate at a sushi restaurant and talked about random stuff, me as nervous as possible. And I was absolutely trying to be someone I was not. I got her number AFTER the date and was in the clouds that evening. It didn't go past the first date. It's funny to look back on it now.

 

You learn by practice that you've got to be yourself and nothing but yourself. But you've got to live some to know who you think you are.

 

You'll be ready when you're ready.

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