Seriously!

[Cate_81]

Do LDR's honestly work ? I'm in one right now and it's taking it's toll. It's only been 2 months! We live a 12 hour drive away from each other and see each other 1 weekend every month.

 

It seems our realtionship is based on chatting online. It's driving me insane!

 

We call each other on occasion, but the whole internet msn and facebook chatt is sending me bonkers!

 

What to do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AJEDrew7]

They can work but it takes two strong willed people who really do care about each other (and often have a strong solid base to go off of when starting a LDR). I would suggest to you skyping. It's much more personal than talking on MSN of fb chat. LDR's aren't for everyone and if really becomes too difficult for you then don't stay in the LDR. I'm sure they would understand if you couldn't take the distance and not being able to be with the person and had to move on from being in a relationship with the person.

[JusticeLaw9]

Do LDR's honestly work ? I'm in one right now and it's taking it's toll. It's only been 2 months! We live a 12 hour drive away from each other and see each other 1 weekend every month.

 

It seems our realtionship is based on chatting online. It's driving me insane!

 

We call each other on occasion, but the whole internet msn and facebook chatt is sending me bonkers!

 

What to do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I'm going to shoot it with you straight.

 

I've never in my life been for long distance relationships, ever. Now that doesn't mean that they aren't possible, but I'm just giving you my perspective on them. Unless it's a temporary situation, they usually don't work and are a waste of time. You hardly if ever see each other; spending most of the time using chat and talking on the phone, sending letters, pictures etc... To me, that's not enough for a longterm serious committed relationship.

[Cate_81]

Thanks for your opinion.

 

I'm guessing your probably right. Too much stress that I could live without.

[simply]

They shouldn't even be concidered a relationship. Without any physical intimacy or chemistry, there is no real relationship. So it depends on what your looking for, personally, i'm not for them.

[Dako]

I was in an LDR for a few years. It was difficult and often frustrating.

I don't regret a minute of it and would gladly do it again. Thanks to air travel we had some spectacular times together I'll always cherish.

 

No relationship is perfect, especially other people's.

 

BTW, my parents had an LDR during WW2.

[ToF]

Is this a temporary situation?

[kittysaysmeow]

I think LDRs can work, but it takes a lot of time and effort. I would also agree that a long term LDR rarely works.

 

I'm in one right now but it'll only last 4 months total (1 1/2 months to go!!!). Frankly, if it were to last longer I would probably end it.

[GeneralLee]

LDRs are exceptionally difficult, especially if they come during the beginning of a relationship. I was just broken up with by my fiance just a few weeks before we were supposed to be married. I'm stationed in Okinawa Japan, and she is still back in the states for training. We've been apart for around two months now as well. When a relationship is based on togetherness and intimacy the way mine and my ex's was a LDR can only end badly. The pain of being apart is phenomenal, so both of you will shut off emotionally a little bit just to shield yourself from the pain. Then you slowly you'll begin forgetting how it is to be with the other person and only remember how the bad things feel. Like draining the water from a beautiful river and leaving bare the jagged rocks beneath and forgetting what its like to swim in the waters of that river, only remembering the feeling of the rocks at the bottom. Also if she has any friends who don't like you they'll take this opportunity convince her she needs someone new, and since you aren't there physically to reinforce her feelings for you sometimes those words will sink in. Ending an LDR is often more painful than a conventional relationship as well. Such as in my case, she broke up with me first via text then by phone, where I couldn't see her face or touch her and in all likelihood I'll never see her or hear from her again, so its very painful in that respect, but on the other side of the same coin you don't have to worry about running into her or anyone she knows and dredging up old hurts, so the breakup itself hurts more but I think the healing process is made somewhat easier.

 

Honestly the only advice I can give you is make yourself available to her, but also don't be needy, if you start giving her the impression that you need her more than she needs you, things will snowball from there. Let her initiate most conversation, and don't be overly lovey wit her. I'm not saying don't be lovey, just be natural, how you really feel, not over the top lovey trying to convince her how much you love her, she knows. Just keep in that sweet spot where she is just barely chasing you, keeping her on her toes, but not so far towards either end of the spectrum that you become needy, or withdraw so much contact that she thinks something is wrong and goes no contact on you. Its a fine line man, but one you have to walk to make things work.

[Joshb]

Ok well im in a LDR...and its successful. I never thought i could be in one or ever would but i am. It is very hard sometimes. My gf lives in another country. We did not meet online, i met on a holiday. We have something strong though so its worth it. Few more months and im moving, so distance should be over. we been long distance for 8 months.

 

They do work, you have really have something strong for it to work, and lots of trust. I wouldnt give it up for anything. As a previous poster...the air travel, and experiences we've had since meeting has been amazing. Traveling, spending time in one anothers country priceless. Quite the adventure ive had so far and i look forward to no more distance.

 

If your SO is really worth it you wont question if you can do it, you will because you couldnt imagine not having that person.

 

 

 

also to the person who said they shouldnt even be called a relationship is absurd. me and my gf see each other every 2 months, and communicate daily. You make it work, in fact i think it makes you stronger and gives your relationship a stronger foundation. You also dont take each other for granted, you know what you have.

[Joshb]

"Honestly the only advice I can give you is make yourself available to her, but also don't be needy, if you start giving her the impression that you need her more than she needs you, things will snowball from there. Let her initiate most conversation, and don't be overly lovey wit her. I'm not saying don't be lovey, just be natural, how you really feel, not over the top lovey trying to convince her how much you love her, she knows. Just keep in that sweet spot where she is just barely chasing you, keeping her on her toes, but not so far towards either end of the spectrum that you become needy, or withdraw so much contact that she thinks something is wrong and goes no contact on you. Its a fine line man, but one you have to walk to make things work." -GeneralEE

 

i disagree if you cant communicate each others needs and have to play games you two arent right for each other. I think you should be very lovey since thats all you have in times apart. If you two are on same page needy wont be in question, everyones bound to feel that way in a relationship at times especially one with distance. If i feel like im not getting enough, its brought up and fixed, thats a healthy relationship.

[Unknown1607307972]

They shouldn't even be concidered a relationship. Without any physical intimacy or chemistry, there is no real relationship. So it depends on what your looking for, personally, i'm not for them.

 

That's horrible! And not true in any way!