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two weeks after initial Brakeup...

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hello to everyone in the forums, just wanted to express my healing process with everyone here, Ok,, A little background on my story. Im 24 And i dated this girl for about a year and a half. She was a nice giving person and I always knew that about her. We had a pretty ok relationship except the regular arguing that can go between couples here and then. We did however have problems with our families, and that caused tention, not to mention our personalities were a bit different aswell. But we seemed happy most of the time and we were willing to make things work. But as time passed on, more towards the end of the first year, I and her in my opinion, started feeling like we wernt meant for each other, like we were just living the moment. I admit it, I didnt give my 100% but I believe i had my reasons. We also never said i love you to each other, except her for one time, when she said "I think I Love you" and I replied by saying, "you think" I just believe that when you love someone you dont think, you just do because thats how you feel..... And that bothered me through time, but I respected that fact that she was eather holding back as I was, or our relationship was going downhill more and more. Anyways, about two weeks ago, we got into an argument and she seemed like she didnt mind braking up with her, and I asked her is she even felt like being together and she replied no... I was in a way hurt, and asked her to meet. We talked and decided it was best to go our own ways, which we did. I was very detremend to stay NC, until her friend and I spoke, she started telling me that she was a nice girl and that we seemed happy and that we should try a second chance. Me being the person I am, Decided to write her a letter and tell her how I felt, and I did. She met me and told me she had to think about it. Which was fine.. I tried texting her and spending time with her while she was still thinking, saying that she was confused. but she was cold and different. Then two days after i originaly gave her the letter i met with her and told her that I coudnt wait any longer, that I was getting hurt and if she was not willing to try I had to start moving on, simply she said, that we could be friends, i just replied not now, maybe in the near future, that i needed my space to heal and start a new me. and now is been a week since I last saw her and well, I feel better then day one ofcourse, But I still have my down times, specialy in the mornings. I feel lonely at times and it hurts, but then I tell myself one thing. And i make sure It hammers my head .. "" that person didnt want you or cared enough for you to stick around""" and it helps when I do tell myself that. Im trying to stay busy, I started a workout, Work, friends, meeting new people, which is hard cuz I dont do clubs or activities like that. But I have to keep my head up and learn to be alone again. Plus, my relationship before that was for four years, so I tell myself that this one cant be that bad. I see it as a learning experience in which I carry with me for my next relationship.. I hope everyone who is going through a healing process belives that there is someone better out there for you. You just have to be patient.

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