"being intimate" and no where to go

[girlfriday]

To be honest the way he talks to you seems a little disrespectful. I don't know his reasons for being 31 and at home but I'm not going to judge on that.

 

I think you guys should maybe rent a hotel room once a while or rent a car and drive around. It's romantic that way since you're making it an event. If he doesn't wish to do this than perhaps he doesn't value your comforts as much as you think. It's fine to do it in the living room while mom sleeps upstairs - I mean I've done that before but you can't ALWAYS have it like that and it be okay either.

 

Just know that perhaps this is a short-term ordeal and that it will be over when you guys move out.

[midnightrambler]

Also, I think being a 31 yr old male, his mom has NO Right in not letting his girlfriend go with him in his room, seriously that's messed up.

 

My mom and my boyfriends mom are totally fine with us staying the night at my house, but his dad is really old fashioned and doesn't like him to do it. Except he can stay til 6 am? I got really upset with that at first, but I guess I can kind of understand.

 

But seriously, we ALWAYS do it at my house. My mom doesn't care at all, she even knows it. And although it's not often, we do it at his house too in his room. we just lock the door=)

 

my house-my rules-no sex unless i am in on it

[Rose21]

Lol wow.

 

 

My mom doesn't exactly roll out the red carpet, but she does invite it. She's even told me to "keep it down" before

 

She sometimes says, "Atleast you have someone that loves you and who you can be intimate with!" lol.

 

His parents know we have sex, and while I'm sure they don't condone it in their house, and I'm sure if they found us they'd be quite pissed, they don't keep us out of his room, don't care if we lock the door, and if we are in there, they leave us alone.

[Rose21]

I'd say 90% of the time we have sex, it's at my house. 10% at his, closer to 20-30% during the summer though. When he came down last, the last time before he left we had it at his house and it was the BEST ever! Sometimes it's good for a change of scenery.

 

We've done it in hotels before, it was when he had a roomate that would never leave so when I came to visit him we got a hotel. (This was like twice) and it was very romantic, because it was like a special visit/something romantic for us to enjoy.

 

Now, and the past semester he has his own dorm room, so we don't have to get a hotel, saves money!=)

[midnightrambler]

Lol wow.

 

 

My mom doesn't exactly roll out the red carpet, but she does invite it. She's even told me to "keep it down" before

 

She sometimes says, "Atleast you have someone that loves you and who you can be intimate with!" lol.

 

His parents know we have sex, and while I'm sure they don't condone it in their house, and I'm sure if they found us they'd be quite pissed, they don't keep us out of his room, don't care if we lock the door, and if we are in there, they leave us alone.

 

June Cleaver would never have stood for this--nor Carol Brady

[Rose21]

Huh??

[abitbroken]

I think it is reasonable to not have sex at either of your parents house. They pay the mortgage - they make the rules. I am sorry, but I agree with that. I didn't agree with it at first when I had my first serious boyfriend but in retrospect, I definitely do.

 

I think that for him to say sex is not romantic - well he has never done it, so you have to take that statement with a grain of salt. If you have gone as far to have oral sex, than that counts, but it is easy for someone who has had none of that to say what happens to their feelings when they have sex - that they don't consider it connected with love. There can be romantic sex where you do everything you do now - start out with bubble baths and then just go a little farther.

 

I think that when you have a guy who considers candlelight dinners and etc, "romance" then most girls would have thought they hit the jackpot. It is not like he is out screwing every girl in sight and saying "its not love". Perhaps what he is really telling you is that sex isn't necessary for love. But also, I have the feeling his excuses of nowhere to do it are his way of telling you he's not ready as well. And his excuse about not wanting to do it in his bed because its boring could mean that he doesn't think that's very special to just sneak around at his parents house. I personally, for my first time didn't want it to be rushed for fear of someone coming home but at a place and time where it didn't matter if a screamed or took 3 hours to orgasm or whatever.

 

I think that you really need to get to the root of things and if there is just no place to have sex - if it is really important to you then one of you needs to get your own place where you can set your own rules - and it doesnt just have to be him, you could get your own apartment too. There is such thing as "timing." If the issue is bigger than that (and NOT having sex when you are not married is not something that is any sort of plague), then maybe you want very different things in a relationship. I would find out what he thinks of sex in the context of a married couple or committed couple? If he thinks its beautiful or natural for a married couple to do it - maybe he just has more traditional ideas than he lets on and sex outside of that just doesn't "do it" for him.