Do women like nice guys? Jerks? Good guys? What?

[Anyway]

If a guy asked my honestly why I won't date him, I'll be brutally honest.

If a guy has to ask this, I can give him the answer...

 

I know what I want and part of your problem is that you assume I don't because I'm a woman. We women-folk aren't all the same, you know.

First of all, what does this have to do with it and secondly, if all women are not alike, why does it work for all men I know to not listen to what they say about dating?

[Dangerous]

"Nothing is sexier then a confident man." Who is tall.

[Cognitive_Canine]

"Nothing is sexier then a confident man." Who is tall.

 

My first boyfriend was 5'6''.

 

And his shortness didn't bother me at all. Wasn't an issue at all. Made it easier for me to kiss him.

[Dangerous]

Good for you. My point still stands for 80% of young females out there.

[HouseKitten]

So go after the other 20%. Even if you were tall, there's always going to be something about a person that excludes them from a percentage of the populations preferences.

[Dangerous]

If I knew where the 20% were then I would. When you are searching and constantly approaching females knowing full well that probably 1 in 20 will be okay with your height - let's just say it doesn't really help. I would never reject or look down on a woman with a flat chest etc. Yet height seems to be this huge thing for women these days. And you want respect?

[HouseKitten]

Perhaps your problems with finding a woman to accept you stem more from your obvious disdain for the entire gender.

 

You've posted on a few different threads that I've seen tonight and it seems like you have this horrible bitter attitude towards women. You sound like a grown man - it must be clear to you that you can't judge an entire gender based purely on the women you've attempted to pursue. That would be as ridiculous as me basing all my judgements of every situation involving a man on the very unrepresentative amount of men I've dated - just because I've been out with guys who weren't exactly angels doesn't mean I should assume all men are the same and tar them with the same brush.

 

Respect is something you earn - strangers shouldn't expect it from you, just as you shouldn't expect it from them. There's nothing saying you have to respect women you've never met, but it also makes no sense to actively disrespect them because you've been treated badly by some of their gender. There are also likely to be guys who have discriminated against you because of your size, but since you're not trying to date them it doesn't gall you in the same way.

 

If you could start to look past this chip on your shoulder regarding women, you might find yourself more open to meeting the ones who will accept you for how you are. No matter how tall or short you are, such obvious bile is not a turn on for any girl.

[OptomisticGirl]

"Nothing is sexier then a confident man." Who is tall.

 

Really? Did the word tall EVER come up in my last post.

 

I don't think it's women who like tall guys you have the problem with, it's the tall men themselves.

 

Just because a woman says she finds something attractive in a guy does not mean he automatically has to be tall!

[Dangerous]

I respect anybody who I don't know as a friend or acquaintance male or female as I give people the benefit of the doubt. But experience has taught me that if you don't look 'hot', you won't receive much respect from women no matter how you put yourself accross. I've always had plenty of male friends, my height is no issue with my male peers. I'm seeing as an opinionated genuine man and that is why men respect me. You'll have to take my word for that but believe me, most men are taller than me and I'm never disrespected or attack because of this. Other reasons yes, I am an arse when I need to be but never because of my height or looks. I take in your point that I shouldn't really judge all women but I've found living in England that most Northern English girls I've met over the years live by a train of thought that compels me to show them no respect. It's nice hearing things like 'you might find yourself more open to meeting the ones who will accept you for who you are', but you can never understand or appreciate the pain men like me go through. Women will never ever understand this. When you are rejected and ignored by women all of your life - how else are you honestly expected to come out of the other end? I observe shallowness and ungratefulness in women every day. That's all I've ever known - can you really blame me for cementing my strong opinions when all I've ever witnessed is what I have received?

 

It's not that I disrespect women on the street, it's more that I simply don't care about them. I think most men blindly respect women allowing women to act any way they see fit - I'm not like that. I'm cool with anybody who's cool with me but I don't go looking for acceptance. Not any more.

 

"No matter how tall or short you are, such obvious bile is not a turn on for any girl."

Even if I do act nicely and as a gentleman I am still rejected for somebody taller and hotter - so what's the point in acting differently? It makes no difference to the final outcome? lol.

[Dangerous]

And lastly, I think 'bile' is a huge turn on for most young women. I'm a very pleasant person in reality and yet I see men who truly are bile and disrespectful towards women succeed with women.

[HouseKitten]

Even if I do act nicely and as a gentleman I am still rejected for somebody taller and hotter - so what's the point in act differently? It makes no difference to the final outcome? lol.

 

You're not a stupid man. So given the choice between behaving like a decent guy (not a stereotypical 'nice guy', just a regular, decent guy) and behaving like an arrogant bitter rejected-male-stereotype, it's surely clear which is more likely to get results eventually even if you haven't had any luck yet.

 

I don't know how old you are but I'd be interested to know at what age you developed this attitude towards the female gender and if it was triggered by any specific 'final straw'.

 

EDIT: You say bile is a turn on for young women - do you mean you've had luck after all this way?

[OptomisticGirl]

I can understand, but on the same hand women go through the same thing in today's society. Just turn your tv on or look in a magazine! Kids, tennagers, even women my own age are expected to look a certain way or they are aren't consider 'hot' or 'sexy'. If you have curves you might as well just give up pretty much. In my experience if your not skinny as a rail and perfect you will never get a guy.

 

Doesn't men I hold all men to this regard.

[Dangerous]

Yes I agree about acting in a decent manner but let me try to explain: If you went to work every day and you were treat real * * * * ty by just about everybody at work. Now this repeated itself, not for a week, but for a decade. Be honest: Would you still be happy to act in a decent manner or would you be well and truly fed up with people?

 

This is how I feel. I can and mostly do act decently towards women but it's only through my genuine nature, I find it difficult to turn into Michael Myers, it's not really me. But this way of life never ever serves me any rewards. I feel fed up with women and their shallowness, their picky BS, their ungratefulness and their pathetic problems which 9 times out of 10 they bring on themselves.

I'm in my late 20s. I've been single and rejected by women again and again all my life. I find it very hard, and you would too if you were in my shoes, to live with a smile on my face for women when all I've ever known is rejection. By the way my attitude has nothing to do with other men. I'm not sure where that mentality comes from.

 

I've never had any luck - if that's what you want to call it - with women ever, but I see truly BILE nasty men in my City with girlfriends. If you think I'm bile come to my City and witness the types of men who live here. So many of them seem to be liked by Women. Bile is definitely a turn on for many females.

[HouseKitten]

Well, there's two areas that are going to be the problem with picking up a woman you actually like: you, or them.

 

It could be you: if how you behave on this forum is anything close to the vibe you give out around women then of course they're not going for you. Plus, it sounds like you have an extremely low opinion of yourself, partly due to the amount of rejection you say you've had. A lack of belief in your own appearance can be very damaging to how other people perceive you.

 

Or it could be them: not in the way you think - I mean you could be approaching women who aren't suitable. For example - your low image of yourself could mean you unconsciously target women who are most likely to reject you straight off because you don't feel that you deserve anything more, and their rejection then feeds back into that self-image again. It's a vicious circle that vindicates your own beliefs about women being shallow and users, but ultimately leaves you alone.

 

I don't know, obviously without knowing you in person it's difficult to pinpoint what's specifically holding you back. But I think you have some issues with how you view yourself and if you worked on this, some other things might change for you in terms of dating as well.

[Dangerous]

No I don't have a low opinion of myself or my image. I'm very comfortable the way I am.

What issues do I have with myself that I should be working on?

[Jpo]

Dangerous I am short (5'8'') and have no trouble getting women.

[Dangerous]

JPO thanks for that. I never said Height is everything but where I live it can often be a deal breaker. BTW 5'8 isn't that short anyway.

[HouseKitten]

No I don't have a low opinion of myself or my image. I'm very comfortable the way I am.

What issues do I have with myself that I should be working on?

 

You make a lot of comments about hot guys and tall guys. From the way you say it, it does give the impression that you don't feel you are either one.

[OptomisticGirl]

Dangerous I am short (5'8'') and have no trouble getting women.

 

I don't see 5'8" as short.

 

I'm 5"4" and to me anything below that is short. Anything above 5'10" and I have to stand on my tip toes to kiss the guy without breaking my neck lol

[Dangerous]

Okay well I admit that I don't see myself as hot but that's because I'm honest. I'm not hot. Not physically anyway. And I'm certainly not tall - but regardless I don't have a low opinion of myself. My opinion is only conditioned by how Women view men.

[HouseKitten]

Well, since you don't think there's any problem with yourself, what about the women you approach? How do you meet them? What type do you go for, and how do you actually approach?

 

Maybe it's not even a physical issue but in fact something you're doing or saying that's putting them off.

[Dangerous]

I'm very normal. Hi how are you.......that kinda thing. I don't do corny chat up lines or sleaze. I'm a very calm person, I don't drink, T totaller, no drugs or smokes.

I'm relaxed and maybe I'm too relaxed. I go for any type of woman. I don't go for tall girls these days, I feel it's a waste of time and I appreciate they would rather have a guy in their height range. At the moment I'm not really meeting any new women, that's a bummer and something I need to sort out.

[HouseKitten]

Oh okay, you don't meet any from work perhaps? I met my boyfriend on a dating site, it was my best option because I work in a majority-female workplace and most of my friends are coupled up. It's tricky to meet new people sometimes if your circumstances don't include new faces on a regular basis.

[Dangerous]

Yes I agree with that. This is an element of my life which is my doing and I need to change that. Dating sites. Mmmm. I'm not too sure. Tons of guys and not many girls?

[MD Geist]

Just watch this video

 

 

 

I think all of your answers are here.

 

Although I still question her views. Women might want confident men but I also think they want a guy who's stable in the pockets if you know what I'm saying?. I've been listening to a lot of Tom Leykis show and a lot of the crap he says makes sense.

 

Its a shame his show has been cancelled.