Is this still possible?

[Waterlily]

Hi.

I´m a 25 year-old woman with moderate depression treated with medications and psychotherapy 2 years ago. Now I´m much better, have gained some confidence and self-esteem , have more or less managed to get my life back on track somehow. I don´t consider myself a happy person, but I´m definetely not the depressed one I was some years ago.

What bothers me is that I still think quite a lot of death and dying. I don´t know if I really want to die, I like the life I have, but the thought of suicide is often on my mind, somehow I´m attracted to it. I frequently dream I´m jumping out of my window, or that I´m quiet on my bed after taking sleeping pills or that I´m trying not to breath with water on my nose level.

What the hell is the matter with me? Is it possible to not feel depressed and have these kind of thoughts?

Thanks in advance.

[TearsofaDragon20]

i dont know but ive somewhat had those types of feelings before, im not sure if that you can still have dreams or impulses of dying. it would be rather more help to see a pro about this. i cant really say too much on this subject, other than keep your self from thinking like that, like do a hobby or go out with friends too keep your mind off of it.

[simulacra]

I think if you are still having thoughts of dying, you are probably still depressed. Although your life may seem better than it was two years ago, there may still be some serious issues which you are not fully comfortable with in your life. Medication is one way of treating depression, but are you continually seeking counselling? I think for a person who's been depressed for so long, it takes a long time to regain true confidence and self-esteem. Even if your life seems to be going well, seeing a psychologist from time to time (or on some regular basis) is still helpful even if it is to affirm that things are going the way you want in your life.

[bleeder]

Hi WaterLily,

 

Could there be something still troubling you subconsciously? Are you still attending therapy? If you are, you may want to speak to the therapist about this.

 

I do admit that people have a death wish every now and then. But having thoughts of it constantly might indicate that you are still unhappy with certain areas of your life.

 

Stay cool and remember to cherish life yah?

[sisterlynch]

Sometimes the medications stop working or you can change to a different dosage or type. I highly recommend ritalin. It helps you consentrate on what you are supposed to do and leave out the emotions.