Taking a one week break

[ronsmith]

So my gf decided that she was unhappy in our relationship due to some of our personality differences. We went good for about 8 months. She said that she wanted a week to herself to evaluate where our relationship is going.

 

I told her that I didn't know some things were bothering her, and that it would be easy to stop doing some of those things. She wasn't quite so sure whether she still wanted to be in this relationship.

 

I'm just so scared that after this week she's going to just tell me she doesn't want to see me anymore.

 

What do you guys think about the situation?

[bish0p2004]

This is not good. So, I would say to you preemptive strike. Tell her that she is right and that you both should take some time apart and then don't initiate contact with her again.

 

It's already going to end, so let it.

[lostandhurt]

I think this is a perfect time for you to do the same. Take the rose colored glasses off and look at the last 8 months clearly.

Also it isn't so easy just to stop doing things that bother her. If it is who you are you shouldn't try and change yourelf to please her. If you were being a jerk then by all means figure out why you thought it was okay to act like that.

I hope this isn't some game to get the upper hand in the relationship. She comes back in a week and says "we can stay together but here is a list of things you need to change" Then she holds that list over your head forever.

If she was open with you during the last 8 months she would have spoken to you about these "things" before they piled up to a break.

 

Lost

[HouseKitten]

I replied to your previous thread about your jealousy towards her going out alone.

 

In some ways I agree with Bishop. It might not be what you want right now but if you are all over her it's only going to drive her away - it looks far more mature to say 'you're right, I can see that we do have some problems. Take the time you need and I'll do the same'.

 

If this ends, it is not the end of the world. It sounds like you were having some severe issues with your jealousy and perhaps that's a sign that you two are suited to be together permanently. Either you're going to be fighting your own feelings, or she's going to be curbing her actions. One of you will have to sacrifice something and it can breed resentment. A fresh start with someone else might be what you need.

[fLuiD]

Take this as the end of your relationship. Do your best to not contact her for this week, and when the 7th day comes, do not contact her to ask what she has decided, unless she has told you her decision. And when the 8th day comes, you will know that you were dumped 7 days earlier. Prepare yourself for 'break up mode'

[shikashika]

a break will lead to a breakup. If someone wants a break, they want a breakup, but want do do it 'gently' (which I think is actually quite ridiculous)

 

The person is too scared or nervous of coming out and saying I want a breakup, but will just go for a break to ease it in gently.

[MikNomis]

Yeah, tell her that you have been thinking, and a break might be a good idea, and don't contact her. That will probably leave her head spinning.

[DontGetStung]

A "break" means that you have to freedom to do as you please. Try to find someone else that interests you, so you can take your mind off of her. As everyone else has stated, this is the end, so you may as well start moving on before she "allows" you to. Getting with another girl will get you out of that initial, "Will anyone else ever want me" phase.

[ronsmith]

I admit that part of the problem was me, I like to argue and have my way, and apparently that really drove us apart.

 

Although I think another big part of it was that she didn't communicate with me that well. She's shy and doesn't always speak her mind, instead just telling me "it's fine" and trying to make me "read" her.

 

I think it's kind of ridiculous, but the thing is that I still deeply love her.

 

She said she still loves me, but wants to take this week to try and start things new with us and see if I can take what she said was the problem and change.

 

She said she wants to see me on the 7th day and hang out and then gradually get back into our relationship. She has said that she doesn't want anyone else, but that she's just been frustrated with the relationship as of late and wants us to "start fresh."

 

I hope she still thinks that once the week is done.

[kvb10]

Any time I've ever taken a "break" to think, it has always worked out. If they really wanted out they would have already broken up. THE MOST IMPORTANT thing is not to call during the break!! I know it's hard but you have to do your own thing and let her wonder what you are doing when she doesn't see you online or out and about.