Keep an open mind

[Trinity1607306450]

My boyfriend is in the midst of moving into my house. I thought I was doing the right thing but I am so filled with fear and anxiety right now I don't know what to do. You know how it is when you are dating .. you feel fresh, youthful and exciting, right? Suddenly your role changes and you are the housewife, the caregiver, the .. I don't know .. I feel so dull and to be truthful, I feel very alone. He knows how I feel and he is anxious about the move too, but is trying to be strong. Those who have read my previous posts know that I am a recovering alcoholic, as is my partner. Tonight I took several muscle relaxants .. it's all I could find. This overwhelming desire to escape from myself overtook me and I felt powerless over it. I am 35 with two kids and I hate the single life .. yet, my self-image suffers considerably when I am in a committed relationship and I become very needy .. quite the opposite of who I am when I am single. Help? Can anyone identify? Thanks for listening.

[SwingFox]

Hi Trinity,

 

Thank you for posting your questions to eNotalone.com. I have deleted your duplicate post, though. I hope you don't mind.

 

I have two questions about your posting:

 

1) Are you really sure you want him to move in (already)?

-- The reason why I ask this, is because I live by the rule that if it doesn't feel good (yet), the answer is 'no'. I would absolutely wait with a next step, until you (and obviously also him) are entirely sure over this. Living together means, that you will be on each others behind constantly, without having a chance to break away.

 

2) How do your children feel over this?

-- If they resist a even a little, the guy you are dating might get insecure with all the consequences coming with that.

 

From what I have read it might be better to wait a little longer. You are in love with him and he is in love with you. You can see each other whenever you want to for now. Why rushing things through. My suggestion is that you take time to recover from your alcoholic and him, too. Take time to talk to your children about how they would feel over things and when you guys feel more secure about things then make your next move.

 

I hope this helped you and I wish you good luck

 

~ SwingFox ~