Leighton Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Oh boy.. it was hard. I was really nervous about it, but didn't let him see it. He was here for about 45 mins. We talked about everything, and for the first time.. I felt no love between us. And that was the hardest part I think. We sat on separate couches and there was just nothing. There was a few times he stared me in the eyes, but it was a different look. Like a look of loss. He asked where this left us, and I said nowhere. We are strangers. He said he hoped we could be friends someday and he was really sorry he hurt me. The whole conversation was very cold, so when he was leaving, I figured I would hug him one last time. We did and everything came back. He hugged me so tight and close, and I just wanted to melt. I'm sad. Hurt. Broken. I know I still love him, and I don't want to. I knew I'd feel like this after, so I'm just gonna ride it out, but it sucks. The one thing he said that hurt me a lot was "I know you think my new girl is just a fling.. but she's not that at all". I just wanted to scream. I know I have to start letting go now. Link to comment
tina-rocks Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 I'm so sorry leighton, I know how difficult that must have been for you. Give yourself some time to mourn the loss and keep loved ones around you as they will help give you support during the healing process. Sounds easy I know but it does get easier and I am always here if you ever need to talk. Sending strength to you today to help you keep strong.. Hugs Christina x Link to comment
Hobbes Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Good lord I can't believe he said that to you. A horrible encounter, can only imagine how painful that was for you but it will probably help you to move on. That part about feeling like strangers is haunting to me, I am not looking forward to that. Look Leighton, you are young, attractive and have the world at your feet, I know that doesn't help but things will get better, I am sure of that. Link to comment
furiouspsych Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Keep venting. Sounds like you're thinking right. An experience like that would jerk at the heart strings of most of us here, but I agree with u...it'd be best to start letting go all u can. That's what I'm doing as of today, no more holding hope. Link to comment
Leighton Posted January 1, 2010 Author Share Posted January 1, 2010 Good lord I can't believe he said that to you. A horrible encounter, can only imagine how painful that was for you but it will probably help you to move on. That part about feeling like strangers is haunting to me, I am not looking forward to that. Look Leighton, you are young, attractive and have the world at your feet, I know that doesn't help but things will get better, I am sure of that. It was very very weird. Haunting is a really appropriate word. A month ago, we were kissing and hugging so in love. To have that person in front of you, like you just met them yesterday.. was the weirdest thing ever. Thanks for your kind words. It was a huge blow to the heart to hear him say that about his new girlfriend. He looked like he was gonna cry after we hugged.. he buried his face into my shoulder. Which really makes no sense, and I'm not even gonna waste time over thinking it, because the man I saw today was not the man I fell in love with, even if I still do love him (more the old him). Plain and simple. Link to comment
Disconbobulate Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 I knew it'd be hard for you today. You'll bounce back quicker than you think you will. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 I'm so sorry the meeting went bad. I know that look you are talking about. I only spent 5 minutes with my ex on Christmas Day to get my stuff but every time he would look me in the eyes there was.. loss, I believe. Or love. I'm still not sure. It DID feel like meeting him for the first time and it was so weird. I can't believe he said that to you. He should at least respect you and what you DID have never to have said it. maybe he was trying to justify the new relationship in his own mind, like telling himself it was more then a fling. stupid jerk. hang in there darling. you will make it. Link to comment
UserLain Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 yea it's good to not over think it. I was tempting to say some things about whats its probably about, the crying and hugging. But it really won't do you any good, it's nothing to hang on to and thinking about it will just keep you focused on the wrong things. Back to business, my dear Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 What is he playing at! He hugs you so tight, is ready to cry and then slaps you in the face with that comment about his new girlfriend. I am sure his new gf would be thrilled to pieces to know how tightly he hugged you and how he cried. Not a nice guy at all. Link to comment
UserLain Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 What is he playing at! He hugs you so tight, is ready to cry and then slaps you in the face with that comment about his new girlfriend. I'm sure it wasn't purposely to hurt her, I just don't think he was thinking of your feelings at all. Link to comment
Leighton Posted January 1, 2010 Author Share Posted January 1, 2010 No.. I don't think he even thought that would hurt me. I didn't show that it did either, I just basically said "I don't care.." I'm curious to hear your theory though UserLain. Because the hugging/almost crying thing sure as hell doesn't mean he still loves me. He told me he fell in love with someone else. I don't really see any other explanation.. or maybe I'm just looking too much into it and it means nothing? Link to comment
UserLain Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 He could be feeling so many things. Sadness for hurting you. or for his Loss and change. To make a bad analogy, It's like at graduation. Sure, school is school, but even if you want to move on when they start playing "In my life" by the Beatles at the graduation ceremony you're probably going to cry. He is losing you too, you're a part of him. And although he wants to go I can't imagine him having no feelings about this loss and change. A tight long hug maybe just that part of him expressing itself. But that part just isn't dominant unfortunately. feel free to ask more, im here. I have a post of my own to put up Link to comment
Leighton Posted January 1, 2010 Author Share Posted January 1, 2010 Yeah that makes sense. I know he must feel something that we are departing ways for a long time.. he's not a complete monster. But obviously since he's now in "love" with someone else.. things are easier for him. Which SUCKS lol! Link to comment
UserLain Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 I definitely know. It does suck. Link to comment
nothing fancy Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Good job, I closed out with my ex for good too, best to start 2010 off right, now time to live and move on! My ex wants to see me still, but she has a serious thing now too, that sucked to hear, but we will only get better Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 He could be feeling so many things. Sadness for hurting you. or for his Loss and change. To make a bad analogy, It's like at graduation. Sure, school is school, but even if you want to move on when they start playing "In my life" by the Beatles at the graduation ceremony you're probably going to cry. He is losing you too, you're a part of him. And although he wants to go I can't imagine him having no feelings about this loss and change. A tight long hug maybe just that part of him expressing itself. But that part just isn't dominant unfortunately. feel free to ask more, im here. I have a post of my own to put up Thank you for this wonderful post My ex gave me a 2 arm hug the day we met and part of me had been over thinking it but I no longer am. Link to comment
UserLain Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Your quite welcome It's always really satisfying to know that something you said has helped someone thank you Link to comment
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