Alone forever

[kevinm]

So that's it... I'm tired of looking, tired of putting myself out there. I feel like I've tried and only failed at building something meaningful. I'm not depressed, just fed up with dating. My standards are high, but why should I settle?

 

Isn't there some thoughtful, intelligent, independent, beautiful woman out there who just wants to build a life? Someone to accept me as a whole? Someone not wanting to change me, but who likes me as I am, able to laugh at my faults and not get frustrated simply because they are not getting their way?

 

A woman who wants to have a kiddo or two, who can focus on family life and not be focused on what we don't have but feel blessed to have what we do.

 

Where are you??????

 

-Kevin

[June_Bug]

Aww, Kevin, I feel the exact same way so very often. It actually makes me feel much better to know that men feel this way, too. I can't tell you that you'll find the one for you and that life will miraculously work out, but I do understand how you feel. I wish you happiness, friend.

[renaissancewoman101]

I know how hard it is. I have been single a majority of my life. Esp around this time, it is hard to see couples acting lovey dovey celebrating the holidays.

 

BTW, you won't be alone forever. I know I won't. Eventually I will meet someone who will want to date me. I did once before, so I know it can happen again.

[gissellegee]

Where are you??????

 

-Kevin

 

 

Kevin,

 

i'm here!!!

 

The questions you asked - i'm asking them too.

 

~g

[SasamiKikyou]

It's odd, because when you stop looking and seem to give up, there's always someone that walks into your life and makes you rethink about not giving anyone else a chance.

 

She's out there, you just gotta keep pushing.

[kevinm]

Where are you??????

 

-Kevin

 

 

Kevin,

 

i'm here!!!

 

The questions you asked - i'm asking them too.

 

~g

 

Giselle... I'm in WA state. I hope you are not the same Giselle that I dated a few months ago in Seattle, lol. If you ARE... ummmm... well, I wish you the best and we'll just leave it at that If you're not, then get over here!!!

 

Thanks for your support folks. Like I said, I'm just tired of all the games. I'm honest and upfront about who I am and yet despite my efforts feel like my dates are just not listening, or think they can change me. I'm just so FRUSTRATED!!!

 

I'm even considering being celibate for a while just to see how the rest of our relationship pans out before jumping in the sack. It seems like having sex changes the focus of the relationship so much.

 

-Kevin

[bugbug]

...despite my efforts feel like my dates are just not listening...

 

Women sometimes flatter themselves too much about how well they communicate, as you're realizing. If you can find a woman who actually listens and respects your opinions, she's possibly a keeper.

 

I'm even considering being celibate for a while just to see how the rest of our relationship pans out before jumping in the sack. It seems like having sex changes the focus of the relationship so much.

 

I vote for not having sex with a new person for at least three months. It's difficult if not impossible to rationally evaluate someone as a long-term partner when you're having sex before you really know 'em. Sex clouds male judgment just as easily as female judgment. Additionally, dangerous women (sociopaths, borderline personality disorder) routinely use sex as a lure to snare men. If you avoid rushing into sex, you're much better able to filter the psychos. If you go celibate, it'll probably feel intolerable for a while. But if you can get over the hump (ha ha) your thinking will become much clearer. Women sometimes whine about how men-want-only-one-thing. When you can learn to resist your sex drive, you'll observe some fascinating behavior as women wheedle, squirm and insult when you're invulnerable to their charms.

 

Isn't there some thoughtful, intelligent, independent, beautiful woman out there who just wants to build a life?

 

It's possible that your expectations are unrealistic. While you're celibate, consider a re-evaluation of your dating habits.

 

Good luck!

[pilotgirl]

Kevin,

 

I had one relationship in 32 years. It was a college mess. It was not love. I never thought it was. It was an unhealthy one-sided (his side) obsession that turned into stalking and I felt sorry for him. After 3 years of that dysfunctional mess, I never dated anyone from ages 21-32. I resigned myself to a life of loneliness and devotion to my career and hobbies. I decided that love was a myth and I rationalized that it was weakness in the minds of others that caused them to believe in it.

 

Then, by a series of ridiculous events, the love of my life and my soulmate literally walked through my front door, swept me off my feet and changed my life forever. I was the last person on earth that this kind of thing happens to. It's been a year plus a few weeks, and in that time we've lost our jobs, had to abandon my house, move and start over 1000 miles from anything we knew before.

 

I have no idea what the future holds, but if he is there, I want to be there.

 

Miracles happen, to those who don't deserve them....to those who spat in the face of their existence. Hold on, believe and never ever give up.

 

I gave up.

 

I came on this forum looking for answers.

 

He never gave up, even after being destroyed over and over by heartbreak.

 

He came on this forum looking for answers.

 

I read his story and the rest was history.

 

Please don't give up. I wish I could say that I was the one who held onto hope, but I'd given up. If it weren't for his belief, he wouldn't have driven 5 hours all night long to meet me because he believed so strongly in what we might be.

[EternalSingle]

Relationships, love...all just dumb, blind luck like so much in life...some people find lover, some never do...that is the way of things.

[kevinm]

Hey Pilotgirl... I'm happy for you, as I am for anyone who feels that they've found their true love. I've felt love before, had it in my life before.

 

It's not that I don't believe in love necessarily. Just that I'm tired of being the one turning over the rocks. I know I'm not perfect, but I do have a lot going for me. I just want my equal in life.

 

-Kevin