My girlfriend still feels anger from her abuse...

[18jay]

ive been with my grlfriend for a yr now, she was abused as a child by several different people. were rly open an talk about it lots. but she told me that she gets angry sometimes wen i try 2kiss her or touch her....

i rly love her and dont want it 2 effect us, bt i can't help it making me angry that sumone cud hurt her like that and that i cud remind her of her abuse...

any help?

[vertigoxo]

I've been abused before. I still feel angry about it years later. I still get some bad treatment in my house and I wish so badly than to just run away and never look back...

 

She and I both need one thing and that's therapy to help her let go of the past. For now, just be the best boyfriend you can be and understand where she is coming from.

[Sanesoul]

This is a very common symptom from abuse as a child. We tend to shrink away from touching because it reminds us of the people that touched us the wrong way. It has nothing to do with you. Is she in professional therapy? If not, it would be good for her.

[18jay]

she has had about 2 yrs of therapy and she seems really gud at talkign about it, obviously she is quite emotionally detached from the subject, she doesn't find it upseting at all...

its hard to know whether she feels comfortable sometimes an it kills me that i cud make her feel so bad...

[Sanesoul]

Don't blame yourself. None of this is your fault. Trauma as a child can follow you through your entire life.

[metrogirl]

I remember when I first started dating my bf, there was a certain way that he would grab for my breasts and it would freak me out. Something about the way he touched me triggered memories of whatever happened to me as a child. So with lots of patience and understand and time and several reminders, he knows that he has to approach them differently and if for whatever reason I don't want to be touched then don't touch. He couldn't understand it at first but he does now.

[waveseer]

I had a friend in a similar situation and she was freed from her memories by having a bf who was very understanding and would stop on a dime whenever she said stop. Then she would bring herself back into the moment and focus on him and their surroundings to realize where she was and whom she was with. Eventually, after about six months, she was released from her inner demons.

[gsxr104]

Be understanding, be patient and be there for her. Let her know that she can trust you and let her know you're not going to leave her because of this.

[shea613]

You may want to read more about Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome -- it could shed some light on your/her situation.

[Planet Heart]

she has had about 2 yrs of therapy

 

There's therapy, and then there's therapy. It doesn't sound like her therapist is making much progress.

 

Some therapist just sit there and let you talk, and they offer no insight or help. She needs to look for a therapist that practices link removed

[Jadeyy..x]

Im the same as your gf, its so hard to just forget about it and relax. Im in therapy to stop this feeling of anger. I deeply advise you to tell her therapy helps. Good luck x

[Jadeyy..x]

Ive just read all the other comments. I think it could help her talking to someone who understands completely. Get her to add my MSN if you can, i would love to talk to her. jaderevill@hotmail.co.uk