holidaybluze Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I just saw pictures of my ex with his new girlfriend. She just made her profile public, my stomach hurts! I need to stop looking at it but it is the uncontrollable urge for information that I am not getting from him!!! Her profile still says "single" though. Does anyone else do that besides me? Link to comment
Mauxly Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Stop it. You are only hurting yourself. Link to comment
jengh Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Of course, tons of people do that! It's hard. You have 2 options... Block BOTH of them or delete your facebook account. Don't torture yourself. Link to comment
jc123 Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I just saw pictures of my ex with his new girlfriend. She just made her profile public, my stomach hurts! I need to stop looking at it but it is the uncontrollable urge for information that I am not getting from him!!! Her profile still says "single" though. Does anyone else do that besides me? you shouldn't be looking your ex's new g/f up. it will just get you down and will destroy any progress you are making. you're not alone. lots of people snoop on fb for what they can find on their ex's. you don't information from your ex about what he is doing with his new g/f. this will only bring negativity. i think you need to try nc and avoid looking up his g/f. if it's over then you need to move on. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 You need to stop, it is best not to know anything at all. If you don't use facebook too much I would suggest deactivating your profile for a while and stay well away from it. Link to comment
lila... Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I think almost everyone gets that urge, and once you start, you can't stop, so the best option would be to block him/delete him from your facebook. That's what I've done and I feel good not knowing what he's up to with his little crush, ughhh. Link to comment
holidaybluze Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 I have already started NC with him. Today is my 4th day and I feel good about that. I just need to stop looking. It is bordering on obsessive. I know it is going to prevent me from moving on!! He has been contacting me almost daily since he started seeing her and says it's not serius...blah blah blah. Link to comment
holidaybluze Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 I think almost everyone gets that urge, and once you start, you can't stop, so the best option would be to block him/delete him from your facebook. That's what I've done and I feel good not knowing what he's up to with his little crush, ughhh. He isn't on my facebook anymore. She made hers public so I guess the best thing I can do is just block her profile. It's sooooooooooooo hard not to look! Especially after the weekend. Link to comment
jengh Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 He isn't on my facebook anymore. She made hers public so I guess the best thing I can do is just block her profile. It's sooooooooooooo hard not to look! Especially after the weekend. Yes, it's hard... but all it takes is a little willpower. Block her. This is so unhealthy. Link to comment
lila... Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 He isn't on my facebook anymore. She made hers public so I guess the best thing I can do is just block her profile. It's sooooooooooooo hard not to look! Especially after the weekend. Ok then block her. Just do it quickly so you can't go back. And why has he been contacting you? That's not healthy at all. Stop taking his calls, tell him he needs to respect your wishes of moving on and getting on with your life. Link to comment
holidaybluze Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Ok then block her. Just do it quickly so you can't go back. And why has he been contacting you? That's not healthy at all. Stop taking his calls, tell him he needs to respect your wishes of moving on and getting on with your life. He has been writing/texting or calling me daily since he started dating her. Telling me he misses me etc. That I am a wonderful person and a bunch of other bs. Just trying to keep me on a string until he decides how much he likes his new gf. I finally told him Friday that he can't have it both ways and have his cake and eat it too. He was not nice to me AT ALL! He said I was exhausting him when I told him what he was doing is wrong. So I told him I wanted NC. He will never take responsibility and admit that what he is doing is wrong so I did what was best for me and cut him off. I have not heard from him since and her facebook says "what a great weekend". BARF!!. We have a huge fight and he goes on to have a great weekend with her. What a jerk! Link to comment
Wonderment Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I do that Facebook thing sometimes too. Its maddening trying to decipher things. I make myself stop sometimes.. sometimes I dont have very good control. Link to comment
holidaybluze Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 I do that Facebook thing sometimes too. Its maddening trying to decipher things. I make myself stop sometimes.. sometimes I dont have very good control. Sometimes it can help you move on if you catch them in a lie after what you see. Otherwise it just makes your stomach hurt. They are moving on with their life and you are simply a bystander, it sucks!! I am going to try my best to stop looking. In a way I wish they would be official "in a relationship". I think it would help me move on. As for now it shows still "single". Even though they have been dating for 4 months. She is more patient than I would be! Link to comment
hopelessincan Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Agreed. Facebook IS the devil. I'm so guilty of checking his page a million times a day too. I only yesterday removed his status updates from my feed. (like that really matters though since i just check his page, check if he's online.) I deleted him a few weeks ago and then three hours later re-added him. We have 50 friends in common so it makes it worse and of course all his family who i still talk to ...so it just looks immature to delete him in my opinion. And we still talk/see each other so its worse, although im now trying to play the nc game...Day 2 Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I definitely agree that you need to block her. Just think - she may even have a facebook tracker to see who visited her page and how often. Would you like to give her the satisfaction that you are constantly looking at her page? NO Ignore him completely and let him live his life. He made his bed and now he has to lay in it. You need to find other ways to make you happy... without him. It's all about you now. NC is definitely the way to go. Hang in there, hun. Link to comment
hopelessincan Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 facebook tracker? is there such an app? oh crap...lol Link to comment
hopelessincan Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 nope there isnt! Link to comment
holidaybluze Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 nope there isnt! LOLOL i just looked too. I don't think there is a tracker. But nonetheless I need to stop doing it! I am only hurting myself each time I do! Link to comment
holidaybluze Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 I definitely agree that you need to block her. Just think - she may even have a facebook tracker to see who visited her page and how often. Would you like to give her the satisfaction that you are constantly looking at her page? NO Ignore him completely and let him live his life. He made his bed and now he has to lay in it. You need to find other ways to make you happy... without him. It's all about you now. NC is definitely the way to go. Hang in there, hun. I wish facebook had a permanent block function. Like once it is done it can't be undone. You call simply delete the person off your block list at anytime. Self control, I must practice self control!! Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I wish facebook had a permanent block function. Like once it is done it can't be undone. You call simply delete the person off your block list at anytime. Self control, I must practice self control!! I personally don't have facebook, but I did hear from one of my friends that there was a tracker. In either case, it is never a good idea to put yourself through the pain. What will that accomplish knowing what they did or how happy they are? Link to comment
hopelessincan Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 there was one I guess...but it doesnt work.... link removed Link to comment
Hobbes Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I had to defriend my ex once she changed her status to in 'in a relationship' - I saw it coming but she claimed she did not leave me for another, which I think is pure BS. I think I looked her up once after this but it was really the best thing I could ever have done. It was sad, I could never have imagined having to do this and I felt very empty shortly after removing her but she left me with no choice, did I want to see pics of her and her gormless wonder? Heck no. I was over the moon when I saw who she left me for though, I could have done cartwheels but I am a man most of the time. I have seen posts by people on here saying it is a sign of weakness to remove them. I call BS on this too. It's in the eye of the beholder, either you can handle it or you can't, a lot of people leave them up as friends as a last cling to the relationship. Truly going NC and attempting to move on as you should for me at least means not having that lifebranch still there. Do I miss her and love her? Yes. The funny thing is for some reason I think she is reading every post I make on here now although she so isn't. Anyways FB delete. I deactivated my account for a while but missed all my friends so went back and it's been fine. Link to comment
holidaybluze Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 I personally don't have facebook, but I did hear from one of my friends that there was a tracker. In either case, it is never a good idea to put yourself through the pain. What will that accomplish knowing what they did or how happy they are? You are right, it won't accomplish anything! I blocked her now and am not going to look. He isn't worth it! Link to comment
Hobbes Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Oh and forget about trackers, they do exist but there is scanning for them and you might get yo ass into some hot water. Not really very hot water but you might upset the fb gods.. oh noez.. Link to comment
holidaybluze Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 gormless wonder? LOLOLOL I was over the moon when I saw who she left me for though, I could have done cartwheels but I am a man most of the time. That is soooooooooo funny!! My ex's new gf isn't all that either. I guess it isn't nice for me to say, it does make me feel a little better though!! Link to comment
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