Taken about a 2 month step back

[healing]

Hey Lisa,

 

I think that it was a healthy decision to not contact him.

Don't forget, he is spreading lies.

 

I think that book (Women Who Love Too Much) will give you plently to think about.

 

I don't think love is enough. There has to be respect, trust, compatibility, similar value and beliefs, and so on. You want a healthy relationship, right?

 

The fact that you are posting here, thinking about all of this, reading, etc...shows that you are willing to do the work that it takes...and what is he doing? He is going around spreading rumours and gossip!

 

Actions speak louder than words.

 

Keep strong and good luck! Journalling helps a lot too!

 

 

[lisaria]

Hey healing,

Thank you. You are right. He is spreading lies and he lied to me, cheated on me. What kind of person is that? Not a very moral one. I deserve and want someone that is better than that. We all deserve better. I know I have a long way to go, but I've been a long way already. I got knocked down earlier this week and I was very weak and wishy washy too, but I came through it. I did not contact him and I'm so very glad now. To have contacted him and if he had been cold or even ignored me would have taken me back to the very beginning. I am not ready for that. I may eventually contact him (I do want to know how his son is), but it will be when I can handle anything he may want to throw at me and that is certainly not now.

I remember not long after I had found out about his other g/f, we were sitting around with his baby, A. The phone rang, when A answered and handed it to him, the son said "it's your other g/f". It was a telemarketer or something. He's only 6 for pete's sake. His dad kept saying "I don't have another g/f". He just seemed so sincere that I believed him. Stupid huh? But I wanted things to work out so bad. What is that to teach your son? It's ok to lie? It's ok to cheat? Why would I want to be with him? Even though he was the best thing at the beginning. He changed and not for the good. Actually he was probably like that all along, just hid it better at first or I just ignored it better. No, he did treat me like a queen and he acted so happy just to be with me. I wish it had never changed. We remarked on how people just smiled at us we acted so in love. Ok, I didn't act, maybe he did. Anyway.

Lisa

[princesa]

Hi Lisa,

 

just wanted to say I'm glad you didn't contact him and that you are feeling stronger now. I know it just too well how this process goes, one day I feel so strong and shout out advice to other people as if I was a relationship guru or something, then some other day I feel sooooo bad and wish I didn't have to get out of my bed. But this is how it goes...and when we've been through this enough times (I wish one time was enough...but at least I've been here before) we will eventually get what we deserve, love and respect. We must learn from all this suffering, right?

 

Well...I'm glad you feel stronger. Let's not let them put us down.

 

hugs, princesa