happypeople Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 Just a little tip if you are really down. Try tapping therapy (it works a little bit for me) Easy and not hard to learn. Google it... Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 Thought id update this, ive not seen her at all since she left on xmas, other than a couple of minutes when we exchanged the kids at new year and i feel great now, i made the decision to move on and forget about getting back together, started dating and have seen three or four girls, however last week i met a girl who blew my socks off, and fortunately, i seem to have blown hers off too, taking it slow but it looks really promising so far. Im now just hoping to get to the stage with my ex where we can be proper friends again but im not going to attempt that for at least another few months. Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Share Posted January 18, 2010 Little update, should really be moved into the moving on section now. I have now completely decided against ever getting back together with her, she's coming over tonight to discuss putting the house up for sale, which will be the natural end to things for me, feel pretty okay about it, in general, im relatively happy now, i guess she wasnt the one for me after all. Link to comment
jimmajam Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Sorry to hear it matador. Things seemed to be going so well for a little while before/during the holidays. It's good that you've found, or are starting to find, a way without her though. Good for you. Be careful though, as soon as you decide you don't want to get back together, she might decide she's ready. Not to say you shouldn't entertain the idea, just be careful not to lose your footing and slip back into the depressing or confusing stages. Now she has to do a little work because you're unsure what you want from her. I hate to play "power games", but it's a great feeling when we hit that stage. Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 19, 2010 Author Share Posted January 19, 2010 Well, all done and dusted, house is going up for sale this week, divorce will start as soon as we can do it. All amicable. Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 In a complete quandry, im not going to sell the house now, she's dating, why do i still feel its not done and dusted when all indications say that it is? We are going out for dinner tomorrow, she still agrees to do things with me every time i ask. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Are you sure SHE thinks it's all dusted over and done with Matador? Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Sounds like neither of you are really over this yet. Why did you decide against selling the house? I understand the market hasn't been great lately...but if you really wanted to move on you'd just do it. I'm certainly not saying that you absolutely have to move on...but you seemed so determined what happened to change your mind? Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 My daughter has been giving me quite a lot of trouble recently, getting in trouble at school, i decided to try and steady her ship by stopping dating and spending more time with her and trying to get her settled. I dont know how she feels, she's dating, how serious i do not know, in a way im glad she is dating, as it means she is finally exploring her options properly. On the other hand, it also could well mean she is moving on herself, who knows. Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 Had an interesting morning today, my wife texted me at half 5 saying she couldnt take the kids to school as she had a sore eye, i asked if she wanted me to go over and she did, we phoned the doctor and ended up going to accident and emergency, so ended up spending an impromptu 5 hours with her while she waited and got patched up, the funny thing is, she had tried to call me at 2am although she says she cant remember doing it (she was drinking with her friends last night), but i woke up and started texting her to see if everything was okay, but while i was she texted me, bizarre timing that at 5.38am, we both text each other at the same time. Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 27, 2010 Author Share Posted January 27, 2010 I dunno, im at a loss now as to which way to proceed. I went over for dinner at hers on Monday with the kids, wasnt a long one, i brought pizza over and we stayed an hour or so. I invited her out for dinner next week and she accepted, but she may or may not be dating (she was on a date last week, whether or not she is going on another, i dont know). Her lease on her flat is up for renewal in about a month, so i may as well hang in there now to see what she does, if she renews for 6-12 months then im going to call it a day, but i dont think im daft that there is still something there, when we left from dinner on Monday she said "love you all" as me and the girls walked down the stairs. Despite everything, i still have a strong feeling that i should not give up on this girl, im giving her space, which is what she wanted, but i just dont know whether i should disappear again off the radar, anytime we go into periods of very light contact we hit it off really well when we meet up. Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Obviously you two have a very deep connection and with the children involved you always will. Don't worry too much about a random date or two. I went on a few dates myself thinking it would help me get over my ex and they were just awful. It usually takes a good 20 dates before you find one good one so a few here and there are more likely to show her what a good catch you are. Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 27, 2010 Author Share Posted January 27, 2010 Obviously you two have a very deep connection and with the children involved you always will. Don't worry too much about a random date or two. I went on a few dates myself thinking it would help me get over my ex and they were just awful. It usually takes a good 20 dates before you find one good one so a few here and there are more likely to show her what a good catch you are. Yeh im not too worried about the dating thing, in fact although its hard to know she is out on dating, i see it as a positive that she is finally experiencing single life properly. Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 29, 2010 Author Share Posted January 29, 2010 Going out for dinner with her next week. Would she keep accepting to do things with me if she had decided it was over for good? Im still so confused. Link to comment
Diagonal Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 Imo she wouldn't still be willing to do things with you unless she thought it was over for good, but that's what I'm hoping for in my situation. Seems logical though, don't you think? Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 Imo she wouldn't still be willing to do things with you unless she thought it was over for good, but that's what I'm hoping for in my situation. Seems logical though, don't you think? Huh? Do you mean she wouldn't be willing to do thinsg with him if she thought it was over? Matador I think there is something there and she's not ready to let go of the possibility that you could get back together, otherwise she would just keep all contact about the children and not have dinners and such with you. She hasn't made any decisions yet and she doesn't want to clsoe any doors or burn any bridges so when you ask her to dinner she accepts. Refresh my memory does she ever ask you to dinner etc? Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Share Posted January 30, 2010 Well, she's coming over shortly for the chat, so ill find out whether its over for good or what she is thinking. I think its probably over for good, but will update after we have had our chat. If she says its over for good i can at least move on and cut her out of my life. Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Share Posted January 30, 2010 As expected, she told me its over, ive told her i dont want to see her anymore socially. Link to comment
Clabs Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 Oh mate - so sorry to hear that. Well, at least you know where you are now, eh? Just keep it all about the kids from now on. Link to comment
matador1972 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Share Posted January 30, 2010 Yeah, im really gutted, but i needed to hear it. Link to comment
minou Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 Matador, I'm so sorry to hear about this. At least you will know that you, on your end, really did the very best that you could to work things out. Hoping you find serenity during this difficult time which will have ups and downs. She seems to still experience you as a best friend and, no doubt, cutting the social interactions between the 2 of you will make it hard on her. I'm struck by how confused she's been in the last 2 months and can't help but wonder if she will really be able to handle not having your emotional presence in her life. Anyway, all the best in moving on emotionally. you sound like a great person, and deserve the very best. Good luck. Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 Yeah, im really gutted, but i needed to hear it. Matador - I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting, but you are thinking about this the right way. At least you have an answer now and you won't be stuck in limbo. You did the right thing by telling her you did not want to see her socailly anymore. Stay strong. You're a wonderful catch and this is her loss! Link to comment
matador1972 Posted March 31, 2010 Author Share Posted March 31, 2010 My wife has said tonight she might want to give things another go, ive moved on, and am unsure whether to do anything about this or not! Link to comment
EQIQ Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 I would say to keep her on the chase for a while before getting too many feelings involved. Because if you put your heart out there again, and then she steps out, will just be another disappointment for you,,, Link to comment
matador1972 Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 Didnt sleep last night, i just dont know what to do now, i fear too much water has passed under the bridge. Link to comment
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