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Positive LC made

matador1972

By matador1972
in Getting Back Together

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matador1972 Contributor

matador1972

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Been split for 3 months and we have been in LC for most of the time. Last week we went out for lunch and had a good time, since then i was away for the weekend and she was texting me while i was away, texting me to wish me a good time, and texting me yesterday to ask what time i would be home at. She turned up at our house this morning to collect the kids and came in even when she saw my car was there, i had toothpaste on my face which she licked her finger and wiped off.

 

I dont know if im reading too much into things but i know she misses me (she told me last week after I said that i missed her). We have quite a lot of things planned over xmas, including spending xmas day together with our kids and going to a panto with the kids, so im hoping xmas will bring us back together, i just dont know whether i am reading far too much into these little things.

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j_cali_man Newbie

j_cali_man

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It sounds like the two of you still have a lot of chemistry and kind of co-created some positive interactions by spending that time. Wouldn't necessarily jump the gun just yet or read too far into things because they probably are still very raw. A conversation eventually (hopefully intiated by her) will be in order but now might be too soon.

 

After your split, were either of you two seeing other people?

 

Go slooow...and keep us posted. The toothpaste thing sounds very genuine.

 

J

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matador1972 Contributor

matador1972

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Wow... it seems you are into a reconciliation soon. I just hope you wouldn't screw this up if you really wanted to get her back. Take things slowly and carefully and do not jump into the gun. All I can suggest is just make all your dealings worthwhile and great. Take time to enjoy together without bringing the getting back together topic at once. There is a good timing for this.

 

Good luck. You might want to check my blog entries for some tips on getting back together. I hope it could help.

 

Ill do that, thanks man.

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matador1972 Contributor

matador1972

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sounds great matador!

 

I totaly agree with all the other two wrote. take you time, don´t talk about relationships and just enjoy it!

 

..and good idea with the toothpaste! gonna try that when I see my ex again!..

 

 

 

Lol, i didnt know that i had it on me when i answered the door

 

We are going out with the kids on Wednesday night for dinner and a movie (any time i ask her to do something when i have a spare night she has always done it, either on my own or with the kids), but i texted her this morning and asked whether she wanted to have dinner tomorrow night, i guess if she says no, then i was reading more into it than is there, but if she says yes then maybe she is thinking about it more.

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matador1972 Contributor

matador1972

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Well we had a lovely night tonight, went to a keep fit class together like we used to do, then i made her dinner and we sat and chatted for a few hours, just dropped her home.

 

We are out with the kids for dinner and a movie tomorrow and then she is working the next 3 nights after, then she's coming back for dinner again on Sunday.

 

Still no idea if it all means anything, but we are enjoying the time together, and ill just see where it goes, i think she wants to stay in her flat till March as her rental agreement is till then, so just wait and see what crimbo brings.

 

Oh, and she wants to stay over when we goto a concert a week on sunday, so something could well happen then!

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matador1972 Contributor

matador1972

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I suppose the hard thing for me, is i am putting my eggs into the basket of getting back together, she knows how i feel about her, she knows im nuts about her, would she keep agreeing to spend time with me and do these things if she just wants to be friends and nothing else? Its hard to know!

 

she was dating, but i dont know if she still is or not, i know the last time she possibly could have seen the guy was last Tuesday, and the next time she could see him would not be for at least another 8 or 9 days, and i dont think she has seen him more than once a week either, but we agreed not to talk about dating with each other, so i dont want to ask her, but at the same time, i feel i need to to know where i stand.

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crabman Explorer

crabman

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yeah, you´re right. it can drive you crazy not to know where you stand.. what about turning the page? what about not letting her know where she stands? she know how you feel about her, but is that a guaranty you always will? what about not being always there for a dinner or cinema? what about saying "I wish to but I´m having other plans for the weekend, but thank you!"? what about you could loose interest because you could think it´s not going to anywhere? it´s about open up so much questions and leaving HER in insecurity. would that drive her crazy too?

 

 

would she keep agreeing to spend time with me and do these things if she just wants to be friends and nothing else?

 

 

yeah, hard to tell. I guess if she is a good one (I´m sure she is! she knows it would be unfair spending so much time with you with knowing how you feel about her. maybe it´s something between wanting a friendship and wanting getting back togther. maybe she is still testing and trying to find out what she needs.

 

so, a little *hard to get* or *I still have my own life* should be the best to do in my opinion.. and keep up the good work being a great guy without asking her stuff she doesn´t wanna talk about. I´m sure she appreciates that!

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matador1972 Contributor

matador1972

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Well i have done the whole making myself unavailable thing, but ive sort of laid my cards on the table now, she knows i was dating, but she knows im not now. Ill see how we get on tonight again, its a tough old time either way, im really setting myself up for a massive fall if im not right on it.

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matador1972 Contributor

matador1972

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Well, it seems i was both right and wrong. After another lovely evening with the kids, she came back to mine for some wine, and i asked her if things were thawing between us, what transpired was the most open and honest chat ive had with her in 18 years.

 

She says she only feels now that she is able to relax and "find out who she is" (she's 40 in march), she had been dating which i thought she still was, but ended it a while back when the guy started putting demands on her for more in the relationship (funnily enough i ended the girl i was seeing for the same reasons at roughly the same time).

 

She told me that that we would always be soulmates, but she dosent know what will happen in the future, personally, i feel more confident than ever that we will get back together, but we will for sure be apart till at least March when her lease is up on her flat.

 

Anyway, ill update after xmas, but we will be spending a fair amount of time together, and i guess we just take it slowly and see how things progress, but it was a lovely night and real progress was made in finding out how each of us see things, she has no anger or animosity towards me anymore, and we are having fun together, so lets see where that goes.

 

Its a marathon, not a sprint.

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moondog627 Collaborator

moondog627

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Well thats good then!

 

Glad it worked out for you in the end mate, thats win/win.

 

Thanks. That ex was young though (the one that gave me the "I need to find myself" line), and truly did need find out who she was. Being young, she hadn't completely developed her own self and needed time and space to figure those things out.

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