Kind of Drama.

[blueangel]

Hi,

 

So in real life, I have always tried to be helpful like I am here.

 

I was submissive and overly giving until...recently! And my friendships have failed and people have pulled at me all around trying to drag me down since I've become more assertive. I speak my mind.

 

This one girl Cait I've been friends with...has basically made me feel negative feelings for a long time. I feel annoyed by her easily, ignored by her other times, and generally overshadowed completely when she is around. She has a big voice. I have a little one. She vents; all I do is listen.

 

So...I started to just avoid her. It was after she walked past me at a football game with another girl and I felt like she could care less about me. THat same day she also called my boyfriend Borat jokingly, but nonetheless it was hurtful and offensive because he is mexican and i feel like that's someone's way of saying, "You're ugly." Lol I dont know.

 

I confided in my friend Chris about it and apparently he told her i was done with her because she attacked me via text. I just said "relationships end, friendships end" then the next morning i sent her another text explaining how our friendship is unequal, how her humor hurts, how she had done a lot of to me over the course of a year now and how it was unhealthy for me. She of course said and stuff like that.

 

Well, as I was walking in the dining hall with my boyfriend, she shouted, and publicly humiliated me. Chris was right beside her so I asked him why he let her do it or went along with it. he was rude back in his texts and didnt care that i just got hurt like that.

 

later he started to ignore me as well even though he said that he wouldn't choose sides.

 

cait attempted to answers questions of mine in class when i asked the girl sitting in between us. i just ignored her.

 

cait sent a group email to our class asking if anyone needed another partner because someone in the class didnt have one. I told her to please remove me from any future email groups and not to send me emails at all in general. i snapped here and basically said and dont answer me in class, kissing my ass much?- from sarah aka

 

so chris still ignoring me, i contacted him and said "I dont know what I did to hurt you or if you are just done but just know that i love you very much and am ok with you letting me go whatever reasons you have to. best of luck."

 

he texted back "Who is this?"

 

that confirmed he truly was ignoring me since he deleted me from his contacts and i wrote back "sarah"

 

to which he went "Ohhh Sarah??" and then wrote a long text about me not contacting him, me taking him off his contact list or he'd consider it harassment (since i used that word to cait) and would " waste the police's time" even though i never used the word police. and then wrote - chris aka: a much bigger

 

I wrote that I have a right to choose boundaries and said that i wasnt losing much- they are both self centered. and that he was a sucky friend anyway.

 

then he gave one or two examples of how he had been there and since those were the only two times he ever had been, i laughed. and then i told him how cait was an unhealthy friend for me and a little mroe of why but also said that if he didnt choose to ask me about my decisions, i have no reason to care what he concludes.

 

Long story short: I'm hurting for these reasons. Any advice? lol.

[SapphireNoir10]

Removeeee yourself from this. Seriously, do you WANT friends like that? No. I've had to cut horrible friends out before. I dont regret it. Ignore them both, stop texting him, and be the bigger person here. You can make new friends.

[blueangel]

Removeeee yourself from this. Seriously, do you WANT friends like that? No. I've had to cut horrible friends out before. I dont regret it. Ignore them both, stop texting him, and be the bigger person here. You can make new friends.

 

Here's what I just emailed him:

 

Whether you read this or not doesn't absolutely matter to me. You and Cait even can read it. You both can sit down and eat some popcorn and attempt to laugh at what I have to say. This is my last attempt to explain a little of my mind. After all, we do have some history.

 

Dear Chris,

 

You don't always know how to be present with people. You made me feel invisible (in fact you both did). You don't know how to pick up on what another person is feeling. You don't know how to receive something nice except detach or stay/pull back. I was sooo naive back then. And everything good I tried to do only led you to imply I was a goody two shoes and how I cant ever say anything bad.

 

Was anything warm ever truly given? I was ALWAYS the one reaching out to YOU. That's the way you would have it.

 

You use two examples of how you have been there: you talked to my mom once, you listened to me when I was "having an emotional breakdown." The latter I dont even remember. I remember it was always about one sided trying with you. I invited you places, I introduced you to my friends...oh and one memory of mine that says a lot about you is that we were walking back from a club. My feet were killing me so I coudnt walk fast and kept putting my shoes on and off. You walked ahead really fast and dailed someone on the phone. You walked soo far ahead of me and didnt even see my struggle not to mention it was in the dark. You have no idea how choked up I got then.

 

There are certainly more examples of this. But why waste my time? You've already proven your attitude to me via text that any explanation of mine is just wasting yours. To choose between Cait and I and to only see through one perspective without realizing how for an entire year I've felt so deeply like crap that cait probably does right now. It's you two that are self centered individuals and dear cait only knows how to vent. She never heard me.

 

I became so repressed and passive aggressive about feeling so invisible that by the end of the summer, I just stopped caring. I have always deserved better.

 

Now goodbye. Now I am free from these bitter thoughts. Now i let go.

 

-yeah.

[SapphireNoir10]

Now you really must let go. and stay away from them. Unless they change their actions and how they treat you, your better off without them.

[blueangel]

It's what I plan to do thank you for your feedback!

 

Now you really must let go. and stay away from them. Unless they change their actions and how they treat you, your better off without them.