Does he just not want to be with me anymore?

[foolish]

Okay I have an issue here. My b/f and I have been going out for 10 months and he has a little bit of a gambling problem. He is doing the online poker thing all the time betting like $5 or $10 a day. He just moved away in March like 1 and 1/2 hours away from me so we get to see eachother on the weekends. Well its like every time i go see him he is constantly online playing poker. We go out to eat and to the movies and stuff but when we get to his apartment he goes back online. Its even screwing with our sex life. He's not as sexually active as he used to be cuz he's soo preoccupied with gambling and school. Not only that he called me and told me he's going to be busy this weekend cuz he entered in the annual tournament of poker to see if he can win a trip to vegas. I have to admit, he is good and he wins alot of money all the time but he really needs to start separating poker from his real life like his g/f. I don't get it. We don't get to see eachother all week and when the weekend comes he doesn't even look forward to seeing me. He tells me he loves me and all but how can he not want to see me this weekend when thats the only time we can see eachother until the next weekend. Does he need space from me? I don't feel important at all here. I talked to him about how I feel and he has a hard time opening up. He told me lastnight that i'm sooo abused! In a joking way. He told me it has nothing to do with me and its something he really likes to do. What about me here? Do I just accept this as nothing and forget about it? I can't do that. Any advice?

[woobiegirl]

Hi , No, I wouldn't just forget about it, but don't take it personally either. From what you wrote, it doesn't sound like he's looking for space, it's more that he's really into the gambling scene. Is this something new for him or has it been on-going for awhile? His involvement with gambling is taking quality time away from the both of you, especially now that you only see each other on weekends. Plus, it's really not something the two of you can do together...so you end up sitting on the sidelines wondering what to do and feeling neglected. I'd also be aware that most who gamble excessively end up losing more than they win, and it can be a very up and down lifestyle. Too much of anything is not good.

 

Hope you two can talk and work it out. Keep us posted.

 

Woobiegirl

[foolish]

No he's been gambling since we met but he wasn't as bad as he is now. He used to gamble on his own time and now its all the time with me. He says the only reason he plays on the weekends is because he gets into these tournaments that you can win alot of money. I think he is just soo comfortable with our relationship that he thinks he can just do what he wants without thinking about what I would think first. I don't know. Any gamblers in this forum?

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

Playing poker can become very addictive. When Nascar first came out they had very few fans. Now it is the fastest growing sport in the world and believe it or not most of the fan base is women. The reason i said that is because poker has made a giant leap from out of no where. It is being promoted on TV every week with Texas Hold Em. Anyone can enter for $10,000 and you can win around 2 Million if I'm not mistaken. It has become the new fad for many. And with the online poker, well it could be never ending. You may want to ask your boyfriend if he is planning on entering the big tournament. If so, he my be brushing up on his skills. To spend $10 dollar a day on entertainment is not a lot. This is how he is entertaining himself and maybe for the big tournament. Just ask him. Either way it should never come before you. You might want to tell him if he does not pay more attention to your needs. He might end up with 4 Ace's but he will lose you in the process. And if I'm wrong about all of this it is possible he might have a gambeling problem, but I doubt it if it is only $10 per day. And especially if that is the only way he spends his money.

 

Good Luck, you need that in poker by the way

 

Kuhl

 

8) 8) 8)

[foolish]

thanks Kuhl. Yeah he is trying to win a chance to enter in the Texas Hold Em in Vegas to win the 2 Mil. I guess if your really dedicated to it you can win but he's gonna end up losing me for it. I know that this thing is only once a year but he's gonna keep playing for the rest of his life so I mine as well just give up on him. I am really depressed about this and sad but what can I do. I have given it my all with this relationship and I'm obviously not making him happy.

[PepperMint]

If he only spends $10 daily that might not be a huge problem; but if he really devotes his whole life to it then you probably need to leave him. How about if he loses one day? How are you two going to pay for it? Most of the gamblers started with $10 and then ended up losing everyting, at least that is how I saw it.

 

Plus, such addiction may well reveal that he lacks self control. Someone who can't control himself often loses in every aspect of his life.