First meeting/"date"

[ay0_x]

I had my first date with a guy today.. It went really well. Really attractive, funny, smart, unique. However, he's NOT nice. Very sharp sense of humour, very straight forward. Very different to anyone I've dated. And he's not going to chase me. Definitely not.

 

I'm not used to chasing guys. I've never done it before, never needed to. But this guy has told me already he'll make me jump through hoops to prove I'm "worthy". Yes his words.

 

Really do not know if it's worth it atm. I mean, I'm very intrigued by the idea of the chase but... meh. This guy is kinda suspicious to me too. Doesn't want me telling people about him, was reluctant to tell me his surname etc so some of my sirens are saying PLAYA PLAYA.

 

What does everyone think?

[Jd1983]

Definitely something wrong there. His cocky attitude is such a turn off. He'll make you jump through hoops, since when was he god's gift to women? Seriously, you don't need someone like this in your life. You'll be more miserable than happy "trying" to please him all the time. Next - keep it moving hun.

[winchester3]

As you said he's intriguing, what do you have to lose by going on a second date? From what you said it sounds like your interested. About that secret stuff or w/e it is i'd just put him on the spot.

[Ammy]

He sounds very obnoxious to me - "you have to jump through hoops?" was he joking when he said this, or was it true arrogance? If it's true arrogance, then I'd be inclined to walk away - I wouldnt want to be with someone who felt he was in the driving seat.

 

Ammy

[pinkrobot]

If it was me, I'd pass on a second date.

[dundermiflin]

Does he really want a trained poodle? Who would? I'd be more inclined to think he would prefer someone that HE has to chase. You can try it if you want, but don't lose your self-respect over this guy. He might have you doing all kinds of tricks and then just go for someone who's a challenge anyway.

 

I vote don't go out w/ him again.

[ay0_x]

As you said he's intriguing, what do you have to lose by going on a second date? From what you said it sounds like your interested. About that secret stuff or w/e it is i'd just put him on the spot.

 

Yeah true.. I am interested. Intrigued and interested. It's just hard to date him because he doesn't like to be seen in public with girls unless he feels they're worthy. As for the secret stuff I made him show me ID haha

 

 

He sounds very obnoxious to me - "you have to jump through hoops?" was he joking when he said this, or was it true arrogance? If it's true arrogance, then I'd be inclined to walk away - I wouldnt want to be with someone who felt he was in the driving seat.

 

Ammy

 

Might have been a joke but he definitely wasn't joking when he said "a girl has to prove herself to me before I'm seen in public with her". Like I said he will tell you himself he's not a nice person and that he's obnoxious.

[In the Dark]

I know many girls who go for men who think or know they are all that despite how they treat them.

But thats the world I live in.

 

The way he talks suggests he can get other women at the drop of a hat.

If he has all the traits you say he does then he's most probably right.

So what he is implying is if you don't jump through hoops he'll find someone else because he knows he can.

 

So he says this to make sure you do everything he wants to make sure he's yours.

Also so he doesn't have to "bow down" to you.

 

Up to you whether that is your thing.

Some females I know who go for this sort of guy think it's like breaking in the wild horse.

pfft. . .

[ay0_x]

Does he really want a trained poodle? Who would? I'd be more inclined to think he would prefer someone that HE has to chase. You can try it if you want, but don't lose your self-respect over this guy. He might have you doing all kinds of tricks and then just go for someone who's a challenge anyway.

 

I vote don't go out w/ him again.

 

I know many girls who go for men who think or know they are all that despite how they treat them.

But thats the world I live in.

 

The way he talks suggests he can get other women at the drop of a hat.

If he has all the traits you say he does then he's most probably right.

So what he is implying is if you don't jump through hoops he'll find someone else because he knows he can.

 

So he says this to make sure you do everything he wants to make sure he's yours.

Also so he doesn't have to "bow down" to you.

 

Up to you whether that is your thing.

Some females I know who go for this sort of guy think it's like breaking in the wild horse.

pfft. . .

 

 

Thank you both for these 2 posts, they ring the most true. My gut instinct of player was probably right and right now I'm thinking.. there's probably a nice guy out there who has all the benefits of this one, but isn't going to turn me into a trick pony, and make me go out of my way to be with him. A little more deserving.

[winchester3]

To me it looks like you are way over thinking this. You enjoyed your first date and from the sounds of it had a good time. Sure you have some doubts but a second date is a sure way to either clear them up or reinforce them. If you dont like the way things pan out just leave, there is no obligation to stay.