AngryHeart Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Firstly - I wasn't really sure where to post this, so feel free to move if it needs to be moved. Soo, a few questions. Me and my new boyfriend have started having sex very early on - "it just happened" and feels right, and it's obvious he's not in it for just one thing. He shows he's really interested in me. I'm not on any pill or whatever, so we've just been using condoms. How effective are they really? Also, he gets really turned on, which is of course flattering, lol. He um... I don't know how to put this nicely... drips with precum - I've never been with a guy that gets so turned on before I've touched them! But I was just thinking - a couple of times (we've been sexual a handful of times, and actual intercourse twice so far) I've been laying naked with him and, um...having foreplay without a condom, cuddling, kissing, playing, and realised he's had precum on his thang and the duvet a bit too. Should I be alarmed? The other night we were talking abot our families and things. He asked if I wanted children - I said yes, deffo. I asked if he did - he said "yeah, I'm the same age my dad was when he had me (he's 30 btw), and at my age I think about when the child is older and will I still be fit enough to run about etc." He's hardly old, lol. Anyways, what do you think he means by that? Is he planning on having a baby soon?? We started on the subject of abortions and I said how I wouldn't personally have one, even if the baby came at a less-than-perfect time, and that in most cases I don't agree with abortion. I said how I'd want children eventually, so I'd think it would be silly to have an abortion just because it wasn't when you had planned. He was like "Yeah, I know what you mean" Now this one may sound really stupid, and I may be totally overlooking things. But we were watching something on TV and someone had just found out they were pregnant. We were holding hands and he was like stroking my hand, but when that part came on the stroking became different and the atmosphere kinda chnaged a bit. LOL, that probably sounds luducris, but I dunno, is he broody or something? Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I think you may be overlooking things. I take from your thread that you've only just started dating. He may be looking to settle down and thinking long term, but I wouldn't look so much into it just yet. Continue using protection, and enjoy the moment. Let time take its course, and in due time you will know if you plan to take the relationship to another level. Link to comment
lonely rose Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 first of all, a man who is 30 years old is highly UNLIKELY to settle with a 20-year-old. No offense but at this point in life he knows what he wants and probably has a stable career, etc. while a 20-year-old is usually at a crossroad about what they want in the future. I don't think saying he is the same age as his father when he had him implies he wants a kid right now. Condoms are pretty effective if used correctly. You can google for statistics. If I were your age I would probably take the pill as well just in case. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Well he might be feeling broody..... But do you want to run the risk of having a baby to a guy you have known, all of two minutes?? I can predict the end of this one, before it's even started..... Link to comment
Kerrian Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I wouldn't take it with too much weight. I know lots of people who say that they'd like to start a family...and if that's what he'd like eventually - then it fits that he has emotional attachment to the idea, but I get the impression you're reading a lot into a comment. Maybe it was just on his mind! Or alternatively, if family is very important to him and you haven't been together very long, maybe he wanted to see whether your opinions on things are the same as his? If settling down to have children is something that he really wants out of a long term relationship, it's possible he's testing the water, not demanding. If he pushes it any further then maybe you need to sit down and talk about it, but if it's only been those comments and then stroking your hand at a couple finding out they're having a baby - I don't think you've got tons to worry about yet. Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted October 1, 2009 Author Share Posted October 1, 2009 first of all, a man who is 30 years old is highly UNLIKELY to settle with a 20-year-old. No offense but at this point in life he knows what he wants and probably has a stable career, etc. while a 20-year-old is usually at a crossroad about what they want in the future.. I understand why you'd think that, but I'm not really like most 20-year-old's. I'm not into clubbing and partying every night, etc. and I do know what I want out of life. Oh, and I'm 21 this month. Well he might be feeling broody..... But do you want to run the risk of having a baby to a guy you have known, all of two minutes?? I can predict the end of this one, before it's even started..... Well, no...I wouldn't want his baby yet...that's why I'm using condoms. What is your prediction?? lol Link to comment
Keyman Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I don't think he is ready to start producing offspring just yet. He is thinking about something many people think these days of having kids in our 30s and early 40s. For me, I'd still like to have a child, but should I have one in the next couple of years, then that child will be 20 when I am 60. As for him being really turned on and the precum thing... Like a women can get rather moist when she gets turned on, some more than others, so do many men, again, some more than others. normal normal normal, embarrassing when it gets on the duvet, but normal! Link to comment
D_Lish Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 What is your prediction?? lol When things are rushed, they rarely work out. The unwisest thing any woman can do, is to have sex with a man they hardly know, risking pregnancy. My prediction, if he wasnt wearing condoms is: A year from now, you would be all alone and with a crying baby...the dad, fallen off the face of the earth All men talk 'gaga' and 'mushy' in the early days. Say they want to marry us, they love us, they can see themselves settling down with us, they want kids, etc, etc, etc, etc. Crikey, if Id had to have kids to all the guys in my life who said they wanted kids.....the CSA would be having a field day!!! He's in lust at this point....not love and lust can make us some pretty crazy things.....but women are quick to believe a man they have known, two minutes and for some odd reason and will come on forums seeking advice on what the guy says and if he means it, after an unbelievable 2 minutes... Two months time, he could be a totally different guy to the one you met in the beginning and when the relationship isnt as new. People would be wiser to wait until they know someone better, than rush in....certainly before having kids. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Anyway, what happened to the online guy? Did you finally give him the boot?? Or is this him?? LOL Link to comment
Red Fox Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I'm not on any pill or whatever, so we've just been using condoms. How effective are they really? "Male condom - If used according to instructions it is 98 per cent effective. This means that two women in 100 will get pregnant in a year." link removed You might think that this means that if you have sex 100 times you are statistically extremely likely to become pregnant. This isn't how it is worked out though. It means that if 100 women use the male condom correctly according to instructions then over a full year, statistically two of those women will become pregnant. This is the effectiveness against pregnancy and depends on the condom being used according to instructions. It is possible that pre ejaculate fluid may contain sperm, and if this fluid comes into contact with the vagina area there could be an increased chance of pregnancy. Here are some things that can make a male condom less effective. "Can anything make condoms less effective? Sperm can get into the vagina during sex, even if you use a condom. This may happen if: * the penis touches the area around the vagina before a condom is put on (pre-ejaculation fluid, which leaks out of the penis before ejaculation, may contain sperm) * the condom splits * the male condom slips off * the condom gets damaged, for example by sharp fingernails or jewellery * you use oil-based products (such as baby lotions) with latex condoms. These damage the condoms." link removed Link to comment
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