Making stuff up - Is this cool?

[bertdru]

I got this idea from some of the confession websites on the net. Supposedly some woman sends herself flowers everyday to work. Everybody thinks she has a boyfriend now. And it seems she tells more and more lies and now she is in a fix because the colleagues want to meet her bf

 

Anyway, I was just thinking - what do ENA members feel about making stuff up? I mean, nothing serious(like job or anything) but mostly about my lovelife and my school life or something. I have trouble keeping a straight face - I would definitely laugh while telling something that's false. I was just thinking that it would make me seem like a cool guy.

 

I was just thinking about telling my colleagues about my first gf in high school or something It would be fun LOL. It would make my life more exciting.

[Capricorn3]

Supposedly some woman sends herself flowers everyday to work. Everybody thinks she has a boyfriend now. And it seems she tells more and more lies and now she is in a fix because the colleagues want to meet her bf

 

Anyway, I was just thinking - what do ENA members feel about making stuff up?.

I would think there's something seriously wrong with them. Anyone who feels they need to make up stories about their lives, tell lies, etc etc, have some major issues (imo). It would always leave me wondering what else they lie about. It would always leave me wondering whether they are telling the truth or not. They lose credibility, fast.

 

Sounds like a low self-esteem, lack of self confidence and insecurity issue to me.

[atlanticstar]

I really wouldn't even go there.

 

With any kind of lies, you're always going to get found out or things will go in a direction that you never intended. It can (and will) get out of hand at some point if you let it continue.

 

Some people measure their happiness by the amount of validation and popularity with others and this is fundamentally wrong. Happiness simply comes from within.

 

Of course having a laugh is something entirely different, but lying to pretend you're something you're not will only end in disappointment.

[cantexplain]

Anyway, I was just thinking - what do ENA members feel about making stuff up? ... I was just thinking that it would make me seem like a cool guy... It would be fun ... It would make my life more exciting.

 

This is a sign of some mental difficulty. Many issues could drive the behavior of making stuff up when the truth would suffice. I'd suggest sticking with the truth for the time being. And ask yourself on a deeper level what may be driving this desire to manipulate others' perceptions of their world, particularly of you.

[shikashika]

This is a sign of some mental difficulty. Many issues could drive the behavior of making stuff up when the truth would suffice. I'd suggest sticking with the truth for the time being. And ask yourself on a deeper level what may be driving this desire to manipulate others' perceptions of their world, particularly of you.

 

I agree... some SERIOUS mental difficulty!!!!!!!!

[cantexplain]

With any kind of lies, you're always going to get found out or things will go in a direction that you never intended ... Of course having a laugh is something entirely different, but lying to pretend you're something you're not will only end in disappointment.

 

Lying for success of any kind (including a laugh) is a serious wrongdoing committed on others. Having said that, it is clearly the case many humans still proceed with the behavior even knowing it is wrong.

[EJRG]

It would always leave me wondering whether they are telling the truth or not.

 

Sounds like a low self-esteem, lack of self confidence and insecurity issue to me.

 

I agree it could be low self-esteem or something else - yes it is very sad that people seem to resort to lies but please don't judge people, I think they just need your understanding.

[Just Me85]

I agree with the above posters I'm afraid.

 

I can tell you from personal experience that eventually these things will blow up in your face, like they are for this woman, who to be honest I feel quite sorry for now. Im sure she isnt a bad person, and what started as a bit of fun has turned into a nightmare for her!

 

I believe it can resemble low self esteem, but also I believe it only to be a mental illness or serious problem if the liar becomes unaware of the truth and therefore starts to wholeheartedly believe their own stories.

 

Also it can lead to a lot of hurt. My ex used to tell stories to me all the time about his ex's and girls he's been with. He used to go into alot of detail and I think he thought it sounded impressive but it just made me insecure. When we broke up 2 years later I discovered it was all lies and I was his first girlfriend ever. I was devastated when I found out, but at the same time I realised he must have been a pathological liar, and it scares me to be honest.

 

I would seriously think twice, even if it is just for a laugh, are you not interesting enough? My ex thought he wasnt, his immaturity meant he couldnt see that I would have loved him anyway for who he was.

 

Good Luck either way xxx

[bertdru]

My ex thought he wasnt, his immaturity meant he couldnt see that I would have loved him anyway for who he was.

 

Well absolutely, I am not interesting enough It would be nice to have an exciting history, right? The problem is, I can't lie. I almost always laugh when I say things like that. I can't look a person straight in the eye and lie to them.

 

I have to ask you though - would you be attracted to a guy if you knew you were his first girlfriend? Maybe here but in USA, I heard there is a stigma against that kind of stuff. You probably wouldn't think he was exciting enough.

 

I do know a guy who does this quite well but everybody makes fun of him. Because he is not able to keep his lies constant. One day he is a sports champion, another day he got a serious injury so he can't play sports(at the same time)! Then he tried to cover that up by saying that was a long time ago and the injury was after the sports wins.

 

Hmm you guys are right, maybe it is too much of a risk. People then might not believe anything I say.

[Rickster]

Some people measure their happiness by the amount of validation and popularity with others and this is fundamentally wrong. Happiness simply comes from within.

 

This is something I'm working on. I act and think quite different to the people in my age group (sometimes even people who are 5 years older) and it's tough fitting in sometimes and therefore it seems it is a must to lie to fit in. There's so much peer pressure, but I just want to be me! Most of the time I do not find the need to conform to society cause I know I don't need too, I'm better than that and don't need their validation nor am I looking for the attention. But sometimes it's just so difficult when society is against you.

[Celestialagape54]

This is a sign of some mental difficulty. Many issues could drive the behavior of making stuff up when the truth would suffice. I'd suggest sticking with the truth for the time being. And ask yourself on a deeper level what may be driving this desire to manipulate others' perceptions of their world, particularly of you.

 

100% agree with cantexplain...lying never gets you anywhere...

[Maya_A]

This is something I'm working on. I act and think quite different to the people in my age group (sometimes even people who are 5 years older) and it's tough fitting in sometimes and therefore it seems it is a must to lie to fit in. There's so much peer pressure, but I just want to be me! Most of the time I do not find the need to conform to society cause I know I don't need too, I'm better than that and don't need their validation nor am I looking for the attention. But sometimes it's just so difficult when society is against you.

 

 

I went through the identical -- never fitting in because I thought so differently. And it wasn't in me to conform. I am the ultimate non conformist in terms of peer relations.

 

I want to tell you that when you get older this character trait and mindset will serve you sooooooooo well. It's a gift for you. If you are people oriented & kind as well, people will respect you deeply and gravitate toward you. You will fit in & feel loved and welcomed in most all situations just by being yourself, like you never dreamed possible. Trust me on that one

 

And where society seemed once "against you" (& I sooo know what you mean) you will see more clearly, the levels of consciousness & emotional & spiritual awareness of society and why humans are hard-wired to behave in certain ways. That will explain a lot to you. You will also find more people like yourself.

 

And to OP- I agree with all others. No making things up. Not only is it emotionally & mentally unhealthy, people are bound to resent it if they get to know you & find out you'd been lying to them the entire time.

[Rickster]

I am by far old (21), and I am very glad that you said what you said as I am sure you've walk through more years in life than me. People my age call drinking alcohol and clubbing social activities - if you're not one of them you are the 'out' group or the 'loser' group. I personally don't find these activities intellectually stimulating nor fun. I cannot possibly think of spending money (worse still, your parent's money) to be unconscious of your actions when drunk and act stupidly. I feel like an outcast when people invite me to these events but give excuses or as the thread says it 'making stuff up' to avoid them. Most of the time my expression says it all. I just don't fit in.

 

It was funny. I recently had a social event held by a sport club I joined. I found myself integrating better with the 30 year olds than the people my age.