Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Pirouette]

I'm doing better about moving on. Having someone to flirt/talk with helps. I hope it starts getting better for me. I'm taking my power back.

[iBroken]

Bah, I miss you in some weird way, but Im not pining for you.

 

I apologized for my behaviour - you ignored the text. I had a dream about you last night and in it, I asked why you were with a guy - to which you replied, its just sex. Then you told me you wanted to sleep with me cause your BF doesnt get you off.......then you started to avoid me. I found out in my dream that you changed your number. Since I have been told I have a psychic sense, I imagine that this is the case in the real world.

 

Dont worry, I havent tried to text you, nor do I plan on it. I said my good byes, thats all that can be done.

 

Im off to Montreal this weekend and its gonna be sick. You are moving this weekend and Ill admit, I do look forward to knowing you arent around the neighbourhood anymore. Having you a block away is not helping my anxiety.

 

When you leave, please dont come back this way. I dont want to worry that Im going to see you. Im moving on and have let you go.

 

After all that TH, I love you and always will. But you have hurt me and have left a hole in my heart. Please dont ever forget that.

[WomanWriter]

Oh, dreams suck! I dreampt that we were at the church, ready to walk down the aisle and get married but your sister interrupted and called it off because you were in Disneyland cheating with you now girlfriend (obviously based on reality). Your sis said she wanted me to call each and every guest up to the podium so I could compliment them. I ran out of the church.

[OneBrightStar]

This weekend marks 2 years since we took our first trip together, to Disneyland. I realized I was falling for you then.

 

Damn, C, why can't you realize how great I am for you?

[everybodyknows]

F YOU!! you lost a good thing, but good thing that i don't text you when i got out anymore. i had my first date tonight, no connection like yours and mine, but its so hard to compare when it was 2 years. i hope you are lonely. i hope you are sad, because i'm going to keep going out and meeting new people. i am so much better than you, it is YOU not me. i need to believe what my counselor tells me. and i will get there you effing j!@$%@#!!

[DeenasRhino]

I hate you.

[bluberry]

what the **** was wrong with you when you sent me that email. was it because that new chick you are dating left you alone for 5 mins.

 

i know you are doing ok. you don't need to rub it in my face you ass. that was just mean and cruel. I know the 4 years meant nothing to you since its not even 2 months but that doesn't mean it didn't mean nothing to me.

 

and who gave you the right to feel pity for me. You know i'm hurting and yet you sent that cruel email and this stupid clause to drive in the fact you don't want me.

 

so what are you feeling huh. lonely? go find that chick you are now seeing. guilty? you should be. needing an ego boost? go screw yourself.

 

when you walked out of my life you gave up your right to be part of it and i let you. so just let this burn. you wanted freedom and now you got it. so go use that freedom and stay out of my life.

[hairybda]

this has been a sucky week

 

first of all, i've been missing you all week for some reason - the last couple of weeks have been great i havn't missed you much at all.

 

i see on facebook tonight photos of you and your new guy. lovely. i really liked to see them.

 

i see we are so over. i wish we wern't. part of me wishes, i would come home, and see you at my door.

 

i am nowhere near as upset as i would be before.

 

i dunno everything feels numb.

 

it feels so weird, that we were together 6 years, and you can just move in 6 months in with another guy, and act like nothing ever happened between us. so strange.

[Irishguy1125]

Its been exactly two weeks since we last talked, how weird is that? We talked every day since we starting liking each other then all of sudden, not at all. I am not calling you because you don't know what you want, I want you to know deep down that I am the guy you want to be with, I am not going to call you asking how you are when deep down it only makes me feel worse. I wish you would have tried more, you told me that you felt guilty about that but that doesn't make it any better. I miss hearing from you, getting your texts calling me hun, asking how I am. I hope you are thinking about me because I think about you all the time.

[WomanWriter]

I can't believe you flew the "other woman" To Disneyland last weekend. Talk about spontaneous, since you and she had only been together 4 days! 4 days and you already stayed in a hotel together all the way in Disneyland!

 

What gets me is that you told me about 3 months into our relationship that you were going to fly me to Disneyland. Then when we saw your friend who owns a jet, he said "It's too bad that you don't want to go to Disneyland." I said "WHAT?" He said "Brian said you were too scared to fly." A LIE!

 

Now it all makes sense. YOU LIED to your friend because you really didn't want me to go. You never really planned for me to go, did you? Were you cheating on me all the way back then? Why did you tell your friend I was scared to fly when you know I was so excited about the idea of going!

 

Yet you fly Other Woman to Disneyland 4 days in.

 

And who paid for all this? You work a minimum wage, part-time job that you take days off of all the time. Yuo can't even afford the 200 dollar rent your sister wants. Did you make her pay? Or were you secretly saving your money for this trip? Knowing you, you probably made the money illegally. It makes me sick now.

 

And my mom suggested that maybe you started smoking because your new girlfriend does. If so, that is sick. You really are a sociopath. All the bs about "cancer sticks" and prayers that your sis would stop smoking. DANG....you need to go into theater, boy! I remember how you reenacted the story of Moses for the kids at church. You were so into the role that if you had told me you were really Moses, I'd have believed it...haha...you are the best actor I have ever seen. A true sociopath. I remember you told me I was the love of your life. You even made your face turn red and you got teary eyes. Props, Brian. You can skip acting school and just start auditioning.

[incaangelique]

I had an amazing time last weekend with a man. I don't want a relationship with him because I want time to focus on me. I realized that you aren't the only man in the world.

[biggestdork]

I wish you the very best of luck

[Scotty123]

So it's been 9 days since I saw you. Wow is it only that long ? It feels like ages and ages. I am so glad I decided to go for no contact cause it really does help. You don't know what you want so your not going to have me hanging off your every word while you figure it out !! You'll have to figure it out on your own, so tough luck !

 

The thing that bugs me is that if I had suggested meeting again I'm pretty sure you would have agreed. But what would have been the point, just so you could tell me you don't know what you want again ! Just so you could have me tell you I want a fresh start again ? You know that's what I want, but if you don't want to then fine but I'm just so glad I didn't give you the oppertunity to tell me you don't know what you want again !! Get your act together and make up your mind.

 

I have only cried once today so I'm getting there, but do you know what you want yet or have you written me off altogether ? You wanted to be able to spend more time with your friends instead of flying up to mine at the weekend .... so you know have all the time you want to spend time with your friends who are all couples ! Do you feel lonely and left out ? Do you remember the times I spent at your place ? Do you miss me or I'm I just history to you now ??

 

Who knows !!

[OneBrightStar]

All I wanted was you.

[mels1217]

26 days since ive seen you

 

if today ends without contact, it will be 7 days since speaking to you... the longest we've ever gone... i think why today is extra hard on me

 

i have a lot of work i need to be doing, but you're in my head. i want to say that i miss you. im at barnes & noble... trying to do work... and of course, all i can think about is you. why am i tormented every minute of every day with thoughts of you when you even said, "i think about you every day... but not every minute of every day." WELL GOOD FOR YOU. YOU'RE GETTING AN AWESOME DEAL ARENT YOU? YOUR NOT OBSESSING OVER LOST LOVE OR EVEN GIVING A DAMN ABOUT ME-- & YOU'RE RELAXING ALL DAY! I AM WORKING 35-40 HRS A WEEK AND ON TOP OF THAT, CANT GET YOU OUT OF MY EVERY WAKING THOUGHT!!!!!

 

i miss hanging out with you. as simple as that. i loved being around you. i loved sitting on your couch with you... watching family feud... cuddling... i just miss you a lot today *oh dear god, im about to cry in b&n... wipes tears away* i know i need to move on, because im sure you're not coming back. but each day i cant help but think you will just show up (even though you dont even know where i've moved to) in tears & beg me back.

 

i miss your voice. your laugh. our jokes.

 

i was even thinking about you yesterday... in that way. i can't help it... i don't know how to not think of you like that. all these images started to flash before me... images of us being intimate. i miss that. you were first. and i thought you would be my last. you told me FOREVER... forever is not 3 years & 6 weeks. it's FOREVER.

 

i just cant stop thinking about how you said you would never leave... how we were gonna be together till we were old & gray. and now- im ALL ALONE. im 7 hrs from anyone who gives a damn about me, & all i want is the one man who was my very best friend and said he wouldnt leave- yet BROKE MY ENTIRE BEING, WORLD & HEART. you said you wouldnt leave... i cant get over that. you gave me a diamond ring & made a promise to me. i never would have thought that this would happen. it's been less than 2 months & im still in so much pain. WHY DO I MISS YOU MORE THAN YOU MISS ME? HOW CAN YOU GET OVER ME? I MAY NOT BE THE PRETTIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD, BUT I GAVE YOU MY EVERYTHING-- I PUT 150% INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP.

 

you made me so incredibly happy. and now it's gone. and i know im responsible for making myself happy, but for now, i am so hurt and in shock that you would steal my heart, my happiness, my smile, my "happy tears", our future, EVERYTHING.

 

get out of head im miserable without you. and you may not be miserable right now-- but i hope to god that one day, hopefully soon, but hey as long as it happens... that you will realize your mistake & it will be too late for you b/c i will have found a man who doesn't break his commitment & promises to me!!!!!!

[eden760]

My mom dies and you drop everything to be with me for 6 days. You took care of everything, we were such a great team. I never loved you more. Then you brought me home from the funeral and said you needed a week to think. You have not called to even see if I am ok as I grieve the loss of my mom. I am not mad because you did so much during the funeral. I just can't believe you dont love me, that you would rather sleep in a friends air mattress than be with me, that you can go days without calling me, that you dont miss our life. I miss you so much and need your smile and laugh I can barely stand it. I wish I didnt care like you.

[DeenasRhino]

Went to the movies today and was hard to concentrate. I was busy missing you.

[OneBrightStar]

"I miss those [brown] eyes,

How you kiss me at night.

I miss the way we sleep.

Like there's no sunrise,

Like the taste of your smile,

I miss the way we breathe..."

[Californiagem]

My Gosh! I am new here and never did I think there were so many people out there feeling exactly the same way as I did. I started to think I was just pathetic and weak because people tell me to just move on and get over it. HOW DO THEY DO THAT SO EASY? Thank you all for sharing your stories. I wish we all could just be happy and not have to drive ourselves crazy over someone else that has done us wrong. We loose sleep, work and our sanity for what? (I need therapy now!) Only to be left doing it all over again? Maybe this is the place we should be meeting the person who is right for us???

 

I got back together to only find myself here all over again wondering WHY the heck did we get back, have a wonderful time the past 3 months and then he says he doesn't feel the same way about me ...

 

When this happened earlier this year, I cried and acted weak because I was confused and wanted him back. We got back and he screwed up again but this time, I said no way to being friends...I wonder how long it will be before we talk again but on MY TERMS now? NC is the only way to go to know for sure...I will try not to hold my breath and be strong no matter how it ends...Eitherway, I know it will be in my best interest, like it or not...

[Snowy]

Nearly 2 months now...

 

On paper, that seems like a long time, but to me, it still feels like yesterday.

[Catianna]

Why is it so hard to forget you and move on??

 

Its been one week since u msg me wanting to contact me... and i am so proud of myself that i did not contact you..

 

but its like you have triggered it again..

 

each day i think about you... argh..

[bart]

I've been having so many dreams of me breaking NC and you being just as cruel to me as the last day we spoke. These dreams suck because I end up thinking about you more, but they also reveal that I shouldn't break NC. That's good, because I never intend to.

[Irishguy1125]

It's been 15 days, can't even believe it. As school gets closer to coming back, are you starting to rethink this whole break thing? Do you think that maybe you should of just toughed it out and we would of been fine. I understand your reasoning for the break but i don't understand taking the easy way out for now, you let something so great slip through the cracks just because of "summer". I haven't called you because you don't know what you want, and I am not going to sit on the sidelines the rest of the summer wondering if you think about me at all. I know you will come around but I wonder what took you so long, your fear of commitment isn't just hurting you, it hurts me as well, I hope you see that.

[funk]

I am healing . I miss you and you will always be a part of my heart. I wish you happiness. You left me but thats okay. I love you and so i forgive you. when you left me, you made me realise how much i loved you. I hope God reads this and sends you back in my life. You are my cutiepie.

[inflight911]

I am definitely in need of help now. A two year live in relationship with my partner..my house..and I finally had to move her out. She shut me off..100% and put all the blame on me..she was an admitted alcoholic, bi polar on meds, and admitted narcisstic..I am left holding the emotions and guilt..while she is already off with a new place to live within weeks and seeing someone else..nice. I've been up all night reading about Narcissism. Yep..it was all there to include this letter from her I found meant for me 6 months ago:

 

And, who are these people? I'm referring to the ons that wake up each morning unafraid of the days consquences. I'm sure I don't know..but do they know that I am not one of them? Probably not, because I have learned to play the part most of the time. For those that think they know me they think I've had all the advantages that would make my life stellar. White, female, thin and pretty. Such a mediocre description. Probably describes 40% of females. But, maybe thats a little harsh. You will have to understand what I consider "prefect" before you think what you will about me and then you will have to figure out who I am:

 

a) narcisstic

b) an alcoholic

c) crazy

 

C of course being the most readily answerable and then in asking that question I can already assume that 50% of all the population will not know what a & b mean. That will be because I am "A", narcisstic. Meaning that it is all about me and there is no one else that understands me, but you. Those that don't know me that makes me insistently "crazy" to most of the people. This would be a good time for you to walk away, if that makes any sense or in fact anytime you thought I was not for you, please move on. I am sorry for wasting your time in my story. But, I take care of you and this is our home, a place I am content and for me not to say that would be completely ludicrous. Im sure if this is to be a problem I will have to put all the pieces together and what a horrendous effort that will be then. It is all about me, it has to be. I don't care about you or what you feel, need, want. It makes no matter, or does it? I am beautiful and that is what is hard to deal with as well. All my life. I need constant attention and everyone in my life grew tired of it. You never understood me..no one ever has. Loved me but didn't care about me. YOU did all this to us. YOU are at fault and to blame. YOU didn't love me.

 

Okay..so..this is what I dealt with living in my home. A suicide attempt in my yard, I was at the hospital 24/7 w her in ICU for 5 days, jail...and I took her back, provided constantly (yes..I became a co dependent) and was always running around trying to fill an empty bucket to no avail. NOTHING was every enough, good enough..someone ALWAYS did more or better.

 

Sure it started out with all the bells and whistles..Something I've read about that fits this situation to a T. Charming, loving, high sex demands and drive, all of it. Gaining a Narcissitic Supply, I've learned too late. Then everything was about "her"..there was no real interest in me..I saw a red flag and dismissed it. She is Bi Polar on meds..but also an alcoholic I came to realize too late. It was dimissed as "social interaction and "MY" personality"...to find it was a way to release inhibitions and to eventually..yes..become promiscuise in our relationship..she disappeared for 5 days with strange men in a bar she met after we had an argument..five friggin days with NO contact..nothing. Then comes back like it was my fault for arguing with her and they..the men, at least "cared about her"...I know..I did dump her ass..but she worked her way back in. She was not working at the time and I was her "supply" and roof. Well, longgggggggggggg story short, she was the love of my life...but, I was also stupid. Stupid. She found a job two months ago, great pay..thought this would help. In her line of work. Close to home..nope. She would not help with anything..no bills, zip. Come to find out, now that she had internet access at work, a new cell phone of her own..she was already planning her next victim. I packed her up, moved her things in storage, gave her the paper work that I was walking..she could have cared less. NO emotions, nothing. Not even a question as to what happened.

Narcissitic don't HAVE emotions..it's all about them.

 

She put all the blame on me..how horrible I was to her, never had any kind of relationship like this, it was all my fault, what "was she going to come back to anyway...as she laughed...to what?" Nice..she stayed in a hotel for a couple of weeks, found someone..and is now living close to work in a newly set up situation using the card to make ME out to be this oger and horrific abuser..which I am not.

 

I use to go the her therapist with her. He told her right to her face: "This is the person that protects you, stands by you, loves you to a fault. You have to stop and really know this person, your partner is there for you..never denied you. If you want to be loved, this is it..right here..but you keep destroying and sabotaging"..Oh she was good. Cried, said she knew, hugged me and the next day blamed me for everything wrong in her life and denied a two hour session or any words spoken by the Dr. Turned it all around..even caught her on the phone with a gf saying how horrific I was..how miserable she was..that had "she put this much effort into any of her past relationships, they would have been perfect"..told her friend and others I was "insane"...nice again.

 

Well..I could write a book. Basically, its been 3 weeks now. Nothing. She started off with text and calls ONLY because she needed to know where her things were stored or the key or the transfer of the unit into her name...nothing emotional at all. A friend of mine said, "give it some time..she is an addict as well. She will contact you to come home when she needs to manipulate someone again"...I doubt it. She has a huge supply out there..as she said in a vm during all this: "Need you? What do I need YOU for? I have a great job, money now, and need you? For what. I never needed you"..oh gosh.

I have not slept in a week, normally anyway..lost 15 lbs...have no..no..nothing in my heart right now. Hell, even broke down on the floor crying the other day..she is off making plans and buying clothes..setting up house..narcissim..dangerous. It destroys. Excessive alcohol dependency..fuel to the fire...constant finding of empty bottles, lies about drinking, drunk when I came home, running off to bars to gain the attention she needed and admitted to..Bi polar..meds and mixing with booze..not taking them right..taking too many..I should have known. But..with a narcisstic..you don't. They are loving, high sex drive, attentive, charming, wonderful to be around, social butterflies..(oh yes, I was also told a week ago I "stole" her identity) and well...wonderful. Easy to fall prey..I did. I am suffering now with emotional issues no matter how strong my inner self is. I have been damaged...in my heart, my soul, my spirit. I use to tell her no one was perfect and I was far from it..but she didn't hear me..she use to say "you say one thing and I hear something else"..

I returned a 20k diamond engagement ring..yep. She loved it..three weeks later I was told "you owed me this"....this was a few weeks after she showed her best friend, wanted to tell her family, then it went cold in a few weeks....just like everything else. If it WAS for personal gain..she was on her game..when she got it....she killed you off. Piece by piece.

 

Never in my life. I'm 52 now..thought I knew better...I never in my life saw this one coming. I've been labeled now as a codependent..wonderful. As "prey"..even better. She was a classic narcisstic..said all the right things at the right time..was and is charming to a fault with everyone so that NO ONE knows...NO ONE would even consider her issues..I've been there..saw her in action several times. People draw to her like a moth to a flame...

She lied to get the job she got...has a horrific background on the legal side and when they did a bkgrnd check..she lied and cried...they hired her and said, "everyone makes mistakes..you will be loved here"..wow..see what I mean?

 

Me? I am in pain. I won't lie about it. Did I love her? To a fault. Yes. Was I in love with her? Yes..without question. But now..I am broken in pieces and don't even know who the hell it is staring back at me in the mirror. She was adored even with issues in the beginning..didn't matter. Toxic..very toxic.

 

I lost my job due to all this and in this economy am having a very hard time finding work now. I lost..me. And, due to all this I don't even know where to begin to find me. Pain racks my soul....depression is deep and I feel like I was left for dead. I was. I truly was.

 

There was rage I never saw in my life...drinking to where she fell over furniture or slammed doors, attempted suicide and I was to blame..running off and begging to come back...how she knew to express love..when she needed something..wanted something...gain. Then she walks over the dead as though nothing happened. She is 48..beautiful in appearance..stunning..well educated, intelligent beyond belief...and dangerous. Jealously, cut off friends, demeaning, demanding, all about her, no empathy, could not and would not be there for me at any cost, her issues here more important, no therapy worked..she would stick to it..did it to get perscription drugs..lies consistenly..manipulates to no end and is an expert at it, infidelity, grandious ideas and ....

 

Me? I am in pain. Deep pain..and there is no where for it to go.