eden760

DAY 9 He has texted me 3 times and sent some type of BS closure letter. I have not responded. I realized tonight that I MUST STOP CHECKING HIS FACEBOOK!! That would be real control. It hurts to see his face, he is not who I thought he was.

love it.... that is perfect

- i saw pictures of you and her at the party..... i wanted to reach in those pictures and smack you in the face. who are you? - you can sugar coat your affair, but I know that you were sneaking around meeting her even before our vacation - i cry every night- you broke my heart and trust- i miss you so - it seems like you are so happy now, you are free to find the girl of your dreams "the one" since i am not - you keep texting me about things... I can handle fixiing the pressure washer I do not need your advice, your words are complete BS to me b/c your actions are horrible. - when you were w/ me you "missed the hell out of her", well I hope karma gets you and you miss me so much you cant breathe, that you feel even an ounce of the pain and loss and betrayal I am feeling and it knocks you over - you are flawed and broken, you were happiest with me than anytime in your life.. you self sabotage yourself-- the grass is always greener - i hope you destroy this relationship with your porn use and cheating and lies - I hope she leaves her hiusband and you get stuck w/ no money and 2 young kids and an ex husband and all that misery. I wil be sitting on the beach with a cocktail and my new sexy boyfriend that adores me. - you have no control over me anymore and i will not respond to your emails or texts.. you are on your own with yourself now have fun - you hurt me so bad you put me in therapy for chrissakes -i am stronger than you... i will find myself again.. you never knew yourself YOU ARE NOT THE GOOD GUY!!!

I dont know whats going to happen.. you need to look inside yourself and figure it out. If you want to go live on your own and give up our own life it hurts like hell.. we said we were going to get married and we were trying to have a baby. Now you are gone. Last night you said you wanted to come home but you wanted to be clear about your decision. Well every day that you dont come home I get stronger. That is not boding well for you.

My mom dies and you drop everything to be with me for 6 days. You took care of everything, we were such a great team. I never loved you more. Then you brought me home from the funeral and said you needed a week to think. You have not called to even see if I am ok as I grieve the loss of my mom. I am not mad because you did so much during the funeral. I just can't believe you dont love me, that you would rather sleep in a friends air mattress than be with me, that you can go days without calling me, that you dont miss our life. I miss you so much and need your smile and laugh I can barely stand it. I wish I didnt care like you.

I dont know how you couldnt love me in the end when I gave you everything of me.. how could I be so unloveable.. how can you be happier not in our home but moving in with matthew? I will continue to handle this with dignity and grace as best I can. I wish I could have done so many things differently. I know you tried so hard. I respect that. My heart is broken. I thought we were to be married.

How could you say on June 25th these were the happiest years of your life? How could you say on June 28 that you wanted to marry me and we would be getting married? How could you say the morning of July 13 that you loved me and to have a great day and not worry about our fight? How could you break up with me on the evneing of July 13? How could you not love me when I loved you so much? How could you walk out on our life, home and pets? You suck!

wow.. I could have written that exactly.

I gave you all of me- the great, the good, the bad and the ugly. You told me you wanted to marry me on vacation and then 2 weeks later broke up with me and said you only said that so we would make up from a fight and have a good day on vacation. Do you not not see what is wrong with you? That is not OK. We had a horrible fight, but you kept telling me you loved me and everything was ok- that I shouldn't worry about it. At the same time telling your mother and our friends you wanted to break up. But you kept calling me baby and sweetheart and dear. But, I knew - I felt it in my bones. And then I saw your chat with the girl you had a crush on last year- saying you were having a mid life crisis and bought a new car- that there was more to come YIPPEE- that you couldn't say what it was but it was really good. That was about breaking up with me!!! So we broke up that night and I told you to leave immediately. You said we weren't meant to be, you wanted to break up, you weren't in love with me. Well thanks for the $400 dinner at Le Bernardin for our anniversary 2 weeks before. I hope it takes you a year to pay it off. Then you text me the next morning and I call you a phony. You are dumbstruck. Yes those are the actions of a phony. I loved you completely. You had the best years of your life with me. You said in the text you were not prepared for the breakup. Not wanting it and not prepared I know are 2 different things. I AM SORRY YOU DID NOT HAVE A CHANCE TO FIND A PLACE TO LIVE BEHIND MY BACK AND YOU LEAVING THE HOUSE WAS NOT ON YOUR SCHEDULE. I hope when you find a place to live you go back to watching porn 8 hours a day. Revenge is a dish best served cold Kill Bill