waveseer Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 again i did that, i asked her if we had a future, etc and she didnt respond. i will guarantee if shes ignoring you like she is, you wont get a response to that either. stop the texts all together before anger takes control. if need be turn your phone off and put it away somewhere. have some time to yourself, relax, watch some movies or something. waveseer gives some great advice but in my opinion trust me when i say leave her alone dont even send a do you want to be with me text. this is her decision now, she knows where you are. You give good advice too, but I'm not sure she understands that he will walk away for good if she doesn't quit playing games. I failed to communicate this once and there was much unnecessary hurt generated on both sides as a result. Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 She can have anyone though and she moves on pretty quick and has no problems with kissing someone else tomorrow or whatever. When we first split up she was out partying and not giving a stuff about me whilst I was sat online looking for some advice and guidance. I wrote her a few letters before which helped tonnes. This time I can't be bothered though. If she wants a stable relationship with someone honest and loyal then that's cool. If not she can go * * * * around elsewhere. Link to comment
waveseer Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 She can have anyone though and she moves on pretty quick and has no problems with kissing someone else tomorrow or whatever. When we first split up she was out partying and not giving a stuff about me whilst I was sat online looking for some advice and guidance. I wrote her a few letters before which helped tonnes. This time I can't be bothered though. If she wants a stable relationship with someone honest and loyal then that's cool. If not she can go * * * * around elsewhere. Well, leopards can and do change their spots but it often takes longer than we are willing to wait. Link to comment
ackerman Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 You give good advice too, but I'm not sure she understands that he will walk away for good if she doesn't quit playing games. I failed to communicate this once and there was much unnecessary hurt generated on both sides as a result. that could be true waveseer but at this point in time she wont care because shes focussed on going out having a good time but if she realises he slowly faded away mysteriously then shes going to wonder where hes gone. she also might not like the ultimatum as its forcing her to make a decision right away. this girl sounds like she needs time, shes definitely confused to behave in the way she is. i just think if you let her come to terms by herself you hold a better chance, thats just my opinion. i so wish i'd of done this believe me!! Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 Well, leopards can and do change their spots but it often takes longer than we are willing to wait. What annoys me is, she can be a gem when she wants. Funny, kind, caring etc. She really has the chance to be an amazing girl but when she messes about it makes me wonder why. Proper girlfriend material that's why I want to be with her. She has all the qualities and I can see myself being with her for the long term. Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 that could be true waveseer but at this point in time she wont care because shes focussed on going out having a good time but if she realises he slowly faded away mysteriously then shes going to wonder where hes gone. she also might not like the ultimatum as its forcing her to make a decision right away. this girl sounds like she needs time, shes definitely confused to behave in the way she is. i just think if you let her come to terms by herself you hold a better chance, thats just my opinion. i so wish i'd of done this believe me!! But whilst she's out getting with random guys in clubs I`m sat here on forums getting advice on how to fix things. I doubt she's ever looked for advice on how to make things better. I don't want to be with anyone else or hookup etc. It puts me off her knowing what she is up to also. Link to comment
waveseer Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 What annoys me is, she can be a gem when she wants. Funny, kind, caring etc. She really has the chance to be an amazing girl but when she messes about it makes me wonder why. Proper girlfriend material that's why I want to be with her. She has all the qualities and I can see myself being with her for the long term. Do you have any idea what makes her "flit away" from time to time? Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 Do you have any idea what makes her "flit away" from time to time? Boredom of being with just me possibly? Link to comment
waveseer Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Boredom of being with just me possibly? Do you need to socialize more together out in the world perhaps? Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 Do you need to socialize more together out in the world perhaps? I always try and make plans, some fall through but we have been on double dates and hungout with other people. She doesn't really make an effort to arrange anything Link to comment
waveseer Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 I always try and make plans, some fall through but we have been on double dates and hungout with other people. She doesn't really make an effort to arrange anything Why not? Have you talked with her about it? Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 Why not? Have you talked with her about it? Yeah she says it's because I know the people we hangout with more. Once we're out she sometimes suggests stuff. Link to comment
waveseer Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Yeah she says it's because I know the people we hangout with more. Once we're out she sometimes suggests stuff. Is that legitimate in your opinion? Link to comment
ackerman Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 But whilst she's out getting with random guys in clubs I`m sat here on forums getting advice on how to fix things. I doubt she's ever looked for advice on how to make things better. I don't want to be with anyone else or hookup etc. It puts me off her knowing what she is up to also. yeh i know exactly what you mean. girls like this love to flirt and get attention. unless your brad pitt theres no holding a girl like that down. you need something extra special to keep them and keep their attention on you rather than the attention all around them. my girl could easily get someone better looking than me but i was always there for her, i cared about her, i made her laugh and i tried my best. you can only do what you can do, she knows you now dont let her see you become someone broken and needy. Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 Is that legitimate in your opinion? Yeah I guess so. yeh i know exactly what you mean. girls like this love to flirt and get attention. unless your brad pitt theres no holding a girl like that down. you need something extra special to keep them and keep their attention on you rather than the attention all around them. my girl could easily get someone better looking than me but i was always there for her, i cared about her, i made her laugh and i tried my best. you can only do what you can do, she knows you now dont let her see you become someone broken and needy. Maybe I should go and get with someone else and make her jealous? Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 you need something extra special to keep them and keep their attention on you Oh she said I always charmed her and thats how I got her in the first place Link to comment
ackerman Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Yeah I guess so. Maybe I should go and get with someone else and make her jealous? i dont advise playing games, but just show her that you can carry on and be yourself even if that means with someone else. im not sure if she would get jealous anyway, girls like that can be very hard skinned especially when they know they can get whoever they want. their probably more likely to think 'idiot' than jealous. just be smart, stylish, casual and more importantly yourself. Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 i dont advise playing games, but just show her that you can carry on and be yourself even if that means with someone else. im not sure if she would get jealous anyway, girls like that can be very hard skinned especially when they know they can get whoever they want. their probably more likely to think 'idiot' than jealous. just be smart, stylish, casual and more importantly yourself. Fair enough man. I hate the waiting game! I just don't see why the nice guys get * * * * ed about Link to comment
ackerman Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Fair enough man. I hate the waiting game! I just don't see why the nice guys get * * * * ed about because were too available, they want what they cant have. think about it, she already has attention from left, right and center, someone has to really 'stand out' to get her full commitment. she has a choice, one isnt enough for someone that has many choices. you have more of a chance than i do now because i blew it, you still have a chance to play cool. let her see that maybe you were the right choice. Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 I`m sorry to hear it man. Yeah I`m honestly not a bad guy at all. You can tell from my posts to some degree I expect? All I wanna do is have fun and have a laugh and enjoy eachothers company, it's not much to ask! Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 Thanks for all the replies everyone. Been a big help. I`ll keep you updated yeah? Link to comment
ackerman Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 yeh definitely let us know how your doing, if you need to, post here rather than text her. take care Link to comment
Steve12 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Share Posted September 9, 2009 Haven't contacted her in any form since the email I sent her. Going good! Link to comment
ackerman Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 good one steve, stay strong. Link to comment
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