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i dont want this feeling anymore!


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I made a mistake, went to the wrong party and drink got spiked and stuff happened ( i knew wat type of party ot was but i was sure i stayed away from the drugs side of it, i was there cause it was my friends going away party) - my memory is hazy from it still but the pictures show me posing topless and theres a vid where this guy ties me to a pole and kissing me & licking me - i didnt do much to stop it by wat happened on the vid but you can also see im not all there either - if i had been, believe me, i would not have taken my top off & i certainly wouldnt have let that guy lick me, i never ever wanted to hurt leigh (my partner)


& i told my fiancee (if thats how its spelt) hoping she'd support me as ive supported her throughout the year & half that we've known eachother

and she did the complete opposite cut me completely, blocked & removed me from every single social site & messengers and only sent me a message cause i kept emailing her, beggin g her to talk to me & work past it - she said she needed time & space.


I hated that idea, its now the second day (day after i told her and she cut me off & im going stir crazy, ive just about been crying nonestop these past two days and im tired of it but i weve talked to eavhother every single day, 24 hrs a day weneva it was possible & now just nothing, theres nothing there, i feel like part of me is missing, im going crazy not knowing wat she's doing, or feeling god just to her her breathing through a voice chat like always would be complete bliss right now - i got 3 words typed out from her like 10 minutes ago and just actually knowing that she was actually there just brought back a little moment of peace i get wen i get any second with her but now she's not saying anything & that emptyness has just slammed right back in ten times worse & my eyes actually hurt from crying this long...


I miss not knowing wat she's doing or been doing, what shes thinking and feeling, i cant stand not hearing her voice running through my entire soul but at the same time i know she needs space - its just too hard! its too hard. and going onto facebook kills me everytime cause we had our relationship status set to engaged but cause she removed me, her name has vanished from it so now it says im back to being single but thats not the case but just going onto it, and seeing that is like a stab in gut (just went on and it set me off with the waterworks)


im writing this so i dont hassel her with messages or say something stupid to her just to get some kind of response from her

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I recommend giving her time to calm down/cool down. She may well reevaluate the situation and decide to talk or try and reconcile. She may not, she may be too angry.


I understand you weren't there, and you had been spiked. But she may not believe that, she might think you were just really drunk as 'my drink was spiked' is an excuse used a lot. Is there anyway you could get a blood test to test for any drugs in your system to prove it?


I would be angry and worried you'd got into that situation. Its so dangerous. I recommend you leave her for now and maybe text in a week asking to talk.

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