gidget1 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 (I'm hoping this is in the right place - read the part in bold if you wanna skip my story and answer my question) So I am faced with one of those once in a lifetime life-changing decisions to make, and I am just wondering how does everyone else make up their minds, when it comes to things such as moving overseas/interstate, moving away from your SO, starting a new career, etc?? This is definitely the biggest decision of my life thus far I have always been a very indecisive person, and even with a big list of pro's and con's, it's hard for me to make up my mind and not feel gutted and torn. I finish University at the end of this year, as well as my job... The place I work at is closing down in the coming months, so basically I will have nothing holding me here, besides my boyfriend of 4yrs who I live with. My decision is, do I stay here and find a new job, start a new 1 or 2 yr course at university (as I have been doing for 3/4 yrs now, getting a bit stale) OR, do I move completely interstate, thousands of kilometres away so that I can start a business (my very kind parents are offering me a once in a lifetime opp. to buy me a business, granted I live with them for awhile til I get back on my feet). The catch? My boyfriend doesn't want to move. Both options are good in my opinion, I would love to have a business handed to me, as I know it's time to get on my feet and do things for myself y'know, and start a "career", and how often does this happen?! But I love my friends here, my boyfriend, my house, and I'm not close with my family... How do you make decisions like this? I hope that whatever I choose, I will be smart enough to not hold any regrets, say, 5 yrs from now, but it takes a lot to not wonder "what if?" and to not hold resentment.. Cheers! Link to comment
waveseer Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 By knowing yourself well enough to figure out which choice has the best chance of success and then throwing yourself into it wholeheartedly. Link to comment
gidget1 Posted September 1, 2009 Author Share Posted September 1, 2009 By knowing yourself well enough to figure out which choice has the best chance of success and then throwing yourself into it wholeheartedly. How do I get rid of the fear? Being somewhere completely new (moving interstate for me is equivalent to moving to a country with a new language, change is a big deal for me) is scaring the hell out of me. I have no problem in jumping life's hurdles on my own, but how do I stop the worry and the constant self-doubt? Moving and starting a business to me is just as much challenge as finding a new job and a new pursuit education-wise and I'm scared as hell for both. Link to comment
waveseer Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 How do I get rid of the fear? Being somewhere completely new (moving interstate for me is equivalent to moving to a country with a new language, change is a big deal for me) is scaring the hell out of me. I have no problem in jumping life's hurdles on my own, but how do I stop the worry and the constant self-doubt? Moving and starting a business to me is just as much challenge as finding a new job and a new pursuit education-wise and I'm scared as hell for both. I find that getting busy doing it edges out the fear and doubt. Link to comment
gidget1 Posted September 1, 2009 Author Share Posted September 1, 2009 I find that getting busy doing it edges out the fear and doubt. Is that what you meant by throwing myself into my decision wholeheartedly? Don't question it and just go with what comes my way? I think I'm at that time of my life where I don't feel comfortable in that, that I need to map things out more because it's such a crucial time to get things "right"? I think? I guess you make a point though. If I don't throw myself wholeheartedly into this, then I won't get the most out of it. I know what I SHOULD do, (for my future and for my "success") but I'm not sure if I am willing to give up what I've already got and take such a big risk (starting a business in 'these' times iykwim) Link to comment
top bloke Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 To overcome your fear you must experience what you fear. The result is that you come out with a better understanding and more often than not you can control it. Realise that iT can stop you from growing and experiencing life more fully. If something can have rewards for you ..dont hold back..just do it. Link to comment
odile Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Making a big decision for me usually involves weighing pros and cons, and trying to reason, as well as listening to my gut. I agree that you should throw yourself into the decision wholeheartedly, but I think that you should think things over really well before making a decision. From what you've written, you sound really enthusiastic about this business opportunity. What sort of business is it that you have in mind? Is it something that you have experience with, and have well researched? Would this place that you'd move to be a good market for said business? If you moved, and the business later failed, would the place you'd moved to offer other opportunities for work and school? Also, why is it that your boyfriend doesn't want to move? Link to comment
Lonewing Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 In this case it used to be easy for me; I loved my EX. So I would have lived anywhere she wanted to live, and make my life work around hers. She dumped me. now I have my own life again. Link to comment
NowandZen Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 How do I get rid of the fear? Being somewhere completely new (moving interstate for me is equivalent to moving to a country with a new language, change is a big deal for me) is scaring the hell out of me. I have no problem in jumping life's hurdles on my own, but how do I stop the worry and the constant self-doubt? Moving and starting a business to me is just as much challenge as finding a new job and a new pursuit education-wise and I'm scared as hell for both. I don't know that you can completely rid yourself of fear. I know you don't want to try to force it. You can embrace it. Say to yourself, I know I am afraid, I know I have doubts, but I know this is what I need to do, so I will proceed, nonetheless. Move beyond fear. Link to comment
gidget1 Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 Thank you for your replies everyone, it's helping me make my decision. I am really enthusiastic about owning my own business, it's something I really look forward to in life, whether it's within the next few years, or 20 years from now... I am just worried about opening/taking over a retail business at this time, with all the doom & gloom around, businesses often failing, etc... I guess that's the ONLY thing stopping me from doing it. It will be co-owned by a family member, whom has owned businesses for over 30 yrs now and is v. successful, but it still worries me... I guess I'll have to give it a long hard think, and choose a business that's right for me, and actually makes a worthy annual return.. Thanks again Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I tend to make my decisions based on outside circumstances. For example, I moved back to CA because my best friend moved here due to finding a new job and I didn't want to be back out in the Midwest without him. Good idea, probably not! But, I still survived and am doing relatively ok out here Link to comment
NowandZen Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 But a decision, once made, is over. No need for regret. Link to comment
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