Can't eat, exercise, dance, be myself around a guy

[jackie100]

 

 

Choosing to be without a mate and to discontinue the pursuit of one is not considered typical of our species. Granted, tapering hormones as one ages make this phenomena possible, and can always be added to by a colorful array of disenchanted mental states one can go through, but as a general rule humans are creatures of pair bonding, and loneliness is never something that staves far off.

 

 

Honestly, I think most men cheat and even if you have a mate, chances are that he is having an affair or having sex with prostitutes on the side. Most marriages end up in divorce. I don't see the point of having a mate for the sake of "not being lonely" when it's only a facade anyway. From most relationship that I have observed through acquaintances etc I have noticed a pattern of cheating. I even know of men that have kids with other women or even secret second families. I would rather have my sexual needs fulfilled and then keep myself busy with hobbies and activities. I think society places too much pressure on people to couple up and I don't think anyone needs a significant other in order to feel complete. One should be able to feel complete on their own. If one has friends and family and has many interests, then how can you say that one will be "lonely" if they are single? As if the only thing that can complete a person is a mate... I don't find that to be true at all.

 

As for the therapy issue, you haven't disturbed me at all by what you said. It's just that I don't feel that I need therapy at this point but I am well aware of mental illnesses. My ex used to be schizophrenic and had to be institutionalized after he left me so I know all about chemical imbalances and different SSRI's.

[troytoburn]

I do the food thing (i.e. can't eat much around a guy I like). When I first started dating I couldn't put a single thing in my mouth... or I'd eat so slowly it was embarrassing lol. I still eat too slowly, but I've become better at suppressing the anxiety when out on a date. I think it's a matter of practice. Good luck!