Another one bites the dust...

[ghost69]

yea, i know man.... but i just felt too frustrated today after yet another rejection and felt like venting out.

 

breath man. keep at it. i'd do more in person though if you can handle it.

[hers]

The photos tgat attract me to profiles are ones that show him in various states. If he has 5 pictures up taken of himself with his camera phone in his mirror or with his webcam, I pass on those. If he's got a few pictures of himself in various places where it looks like he's having fun and is happy, I like those. Funny captions get me too, as lame as it may sound, but it shows he has a sense of humour. If he looks bored or stiff in his pictures, or if they look like professional pictures taken just for his profile, then I'm less likely to respond to those.

[greywolf]

yea, i understand...

 

well.. nice guy or not how can i show my personality through online photos? the one that i have right now is me wearing a hat and seated on a chair.. that's all. should i try different poses or dress? may be some pictures taken in the out doors?

 

That's the problem with online dating. They can't really know your personality till you meet them.

[hers]

I agree with ghost though about getting out and talking to women. You had good luck with the girl in the coffee shop one time even though it didn't work out. But you still were able to talk to her and have a conversation b/c you made the effort. You can do it again.

[ghost69]

That's the problem with online dating. They can't really know your personality till you meet them.

 

yeah, and ultimately that's what we want right?

 

I agree with ghost though about getting out and talking to women. You had good luck with the girl in the coffee shop one time even though it didn't work out. But you still were able to talk to her and have a conversation b/c you made the effort. You can do it again.

 

true. also, you have to meet these girls in person sometime right grym?

 

 

on a side note: do you ever feel like if they just meet you in person it would be different and they wouldn't want to just blow you off online or something like that? 'but if you just met me...' type feeling?

[Mutley]

That's the problem with online dating. They can't really know your personality till you meet them.

 

that's why one needs to get to the coffee date asap.

 

Online dating has worked for well for me. I've met alot of women using that avenue.

 

Gry needs to find what works best for him....online still may work, if he tweaks it a little.

[grymoire]

I have approached women in person too... like the girl I hit on at Starbucks. Nothing came out of it but I was glad I gave it a shot. I am very confident if one of these women respond to me after they see my picture and agree to meet in person I can work my charm when I meet them. But the problem is they go silent after I send them my picture...

 

There is also another reason why I feel very down today. There is a girl in the company that I work. Usually when we come accross each other she calls me by some other guy's name. Today she did the same thing again and I just got curious and asked her why she keeps calling by some other name. She said it was one of her good friends.. I then asked her "ok. so do i look like him? that's why you keep calling my by his name?" and guess what she said?? she said "oh no. he is very good looking"

[Mutley]

You should have said "is he as rude as you?"

[hers]

That doesn't mean anything. That girl sounds like an idiot if she can't call you by the right name. I wouldn't take her idiocy personally.

[grymoire]

You should have said "is he as rude as you?"

 

I actually was so shocked and so hurt that I couldn't open my mouth.

[grymoire]

The photos tgat attract me to profiles are ones that show him in various states. If he has 5 pictures up taken of himself with his camera phone in his mirror or with his webcam, I pass on those. If he's got a few pictures of himself in various places where it looks like he's having fun and is happy, I like those. Funny captions get me too, as lame as it may sound, but it shows he has a sense of humour. If he looks bored or stiff in his pictures, or if they look like professional pictures taken just for his profile, then I'm less likely to respond to those.

 

hmm... I actually send only one photo of mine. May be I should put up/send more pictures taken in different locations.

[lady00]

There is also another reason why I feel very down today. There is a girl in the company that I work. Usually when we come accross each other she calls me by some other guy's name. Today she did the same thing again and I just got curious and asked her why she keeps calling by some other name. She said it was one of her good friends.. I then asked her "ok. so do i look like him? that's why you keep calling my by his name?" and guess what she said?? she said "oh no. he is very good looking"

 

 

Umm...wow. What a piece of work. She sounds like an idiot with no tact.

[nvrgiveuplove2]

Women who do online dating don't have a soul????

 

There are plenty of nice women that do online dating.

 

I think you should have pictures (not just 1) up on your profile and just contact people who have the same. This way you can avoid those women you won't have that initial attraction to and vice versa.

 

I did not mean the fact that women who do online dating don't have a soul...what I mean is that it is so easy to judge a person by the way they look. If you meet someone you can pick up on their behaviors, responses, and facial expressions. I know many women who are amazing and they do online dating....

[grymoire]

on a side note: do you ever feel like if they just meet you in person it would be different and they wouldn't want to just blow you off online or something like that? 'but if you just met me...' type feeling?

 

Yep.. I am very confident things would be different if a coffee date happens. All I want is for them to agree to meet me in person instead going silent after seeing my picture.

[nvrgiveuplove2]

oh God, plz plz don't say that I am a nice guy. That's the last thing I want to hear.

 

Believe me Grym it is good to be told you are a good guy. Good guys are the best I dont care what anyone else says...

[heloladies21]

Let me intoduce you to a little secret my friend.

 

Women who say it's personality that matters are full of bull!

 

first thing that matters is looks.....it always is.

 

If they like the look of you then you'll get dates.......then it's when personality matters.

 

First and foremost in the dating game there has to be attraction! Any woman who say's not is deluding herself and is quite frankly a liar....and i don't care what they say in response to this.......it is the truth and deep down they know it.

And what about the not attractive guys who get lots of girls, are they a figment of my imagination? I will be the first to agree not to take the advice of women as fact when it comes to dating (not due to bad intentions, I know you're doing your best to help), but to act as if that's the only source of proof that looks aren't everything would be tunnel vision.

 

I've seen with my own two eyes that some of the most successful guys with women are the most average or below-average looking while the best looking guys often disappoint due to bad personality.

[nvrgiveuplove2]

And what about the not attractive guys who get lots of girls, are they a figment of my imagination? I will be the first to agree not to take the advice of women as fact when it comes to dating (not due to bad intentions, I know you're doing your best to help), but to act as if that's the only source of proof that looks aren't everything would be tunnel vision.

 

I've seen with my own two eyes that some of the most successful guys with women are the most average or below-average looking while the best looking guys often disappoint due to bad personality.

 

I completely agree with you.....

[grymoire]

And what about the not attractive guys who get lots of girls, are they a figment of my imagination? I will be the first to agree not to take the advice of women as fact when it comes to dating (not due to bad intentions, I know you're doing your best to help), but to act as if that's the only source of proof that looks aren't everything would be tunnel vision.

 

I've seen with my own two eyes that some of the most successful guys with women are the most average or below-average looking while the best looking guys often disappoint due to bad personality.

 

but the real problem heloladies is that i don't get a chance to meet them in person even once.. they go quiet right after seeing my picture.

[nvrgiveuplove2]

Then maybe you should try meeting women in person at places where you can actuallly interact with them....

[heloladies21]

but the real problem heloladies is that i don't get a chance to meet them in person even once.. they go quiet right after seeing my picture.

Honest truth, I had very low success with online dating, and I am above average looking. Just a skill I was never able to master. But I did the best I could to refine my real life pick up skills and in retrospect it is a better way to pick up, because you don't have to wait for a girl to put up a profile, you can just go up to her and hit on her.

 

If you hit on a girl in real life and you've developed the skill, you don't even give her a chance to objectify your looks before you start showing her your personality. That's why very extensive practice is needed, you have to hit on at least a hundred girls in my estimation in order for you to have the raw information to start drawing conclusions and making theories and making adjustments. Learning how to hit on girls in real life is a very important skill to learn, it would be the one thing I would concentrate on doing if I were you.

[nvrgiveuplove2]

Sometimes you meet good ones and other times you meet bad ones. Even though its hard all of these things are learning experiences, and its important to remember that most people have to go through a lot of heartache before they find the "right" one...that's what makes the "one" so special...

[grymoire]

thx Bro.. i did have some success early this year with the Florida girl... but nothing after that....

 

i guess i will have to venture into real life hitting on women again.

[hers]

the florida girl may have worked out well if it werent for distance i think. dont let it deter you....

[heloladies21]

Sometimes you meet good ones and other times you meet bad ones. Even though its hard all of these things are learning experiences, and its important to remember that most people have to go through a lot of heartache before they find the "right" one...that's what makes the "one" so special...

Of course, and that's another good point, that you have to expect a certain amount of failure, for a certain period of time before you eventually find one that gives you what you're looking for and vice versa. Any complaining about this is essentially useless because there ain't a thing you can do about it, this is the way it is.

 

But it also takes a certain amount of determination, and that's what I see lacking here, along with a stubbornness to change what you're doing. Ever sign up for a bootcamp? That would be a very significant step in bringing about the change you desire.

[grymoire]

the florida girl may have worked out well if it werent for distance i think. dont let it deter you....

 

yea, she was willing to meet me even after she ended things.

 

i think i flipped out emotionally today because of the hurtful comment by my co-worker and this girl going silent after getting my picture.. both happening together...