Where do you meet quality men?

[enchanted771]

The bar scene has too many men who want "hookups". Online dating is like a kid in a candy shop. Also, what are the red flags to look for and what to say when you spot the red flags?

[Knight of Hope]

As a self-declared quality man, you can usually find me in a library or a coffee shop. Usually with my laptop open and studying for dental school...

 

But I have lots to talk about if a girl approaches me. Remember, if a guy is sitting by himself, it doesn't necessarily mean he wants to be alone.

[enchanted771]

Well, thats out! i am way too shy!!!!

[Knight of Hope]

How about obvious eye contact and a little smile? That'd be enough to get me to walk over.

[Casanova4life]

quality men? you mean money wise? hang around the starbucks and au bon pain by Wall street. lots of investment bankers

[Keyman]

Well, thats out! i am way too shy!!!!

 

And yet if a guy claims the same thing... 'I can't approach because I'm too shy', he gets chastised and told to be more confident and to grow some .

[Macleod]

Try killing 2 birds with one stone...Do something or go somewhere that you enjoy. Chances are that you'll meet a nice guy that already has that in common with you. ex sanctuary, cancer marathon, work function, book store, some other activity class.

[hers]

What if guys were too shy to come up to you? Then where would you be? You leave it up to them all the time and you may get nothing.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You actually only know if someone is truly a nice person over time. Even the ones who go to charity functions, book stores, religious institutions, libraries etc could be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Quality is about character, not necessarily where you meet them.

[enchanted771]

quality men? you mean money wise? hang around the starbucks and au bon pain by Wall street. lots of investment bankers

Not money wise. I just mean, men who arent just looking for fun.

[enchanted771]

What if guys were too shy to come up to you? Then where would you be? You leave it up to them all the time and you may get nothing.

 

I know, but i cant help that i am shy lol its just who i am.

[annie24]

last guy i dated i met on the bus. the conversation started when i asked him what he was reading.

[hers]

That may be who they are too though. Both of you don't make a move out of fear of looking vulnerable for 2 minutes and you could lose out on a lifetime of happiness.

[enchanted771]

yes, thats true

[jenna981]

As a self-declared quality man, you can usually find me in a library or a coffee shop. Usually with my laptop open and studying for dental school...

 

But I have lots to talk about if a girl approaches me. Remember, if a guy is sitting by himself, it doesn't necessarily mean he wants to be alone.

 

 

1- what would be a good conversation starter with a complete stranger?

 

2- if you are reading or working on your laptop, what if she feels she is bothering you since you might be doing something important?

 

3- what if you have a wife or girlfriend who just got up for a minute to get coffee, to the lady's room, etc... and comes back to see a girl flirting with you - embarrassing for the girl talking to you and for you.

 

all the what ifs.... a deep breath:

[hers]

What if he's wearing headphones?

[Knight of Hope]

1- what would be a good conversation starter with a complete stranger?

 

2- if you are reading or working on your laptop, what if she feels she is bothering you since you might be doing something important?

 

3- what if you have a wife or girlfriend who just got up for a minute to get coffee, to the lady's room, etc... and comes back to see a girl flirting with you - embarrassing for the girl talking to you and for you.

 

all the what ifs.... a deep breath:

 

1- *smiles* "Hey, what are you working on?" For me, works every time.

 

2- With me, she shouldn't. People are much more important to me than whatever I'm working on. If it's important, I will tell her it's important and that I'm sorry but I can't talk to her at that moment. I will always be very friendly with her, even if I have to end the conversation short.

 

3- I would tell her that I'm dating someone/married, and I'd do my best to minimize her embarrassment, to make the girl very comfortable and very welcome, no matter what my relationship status was. But keep this in mind: Embarrassment is just a part of dating. It happens to all of us. And it's a minor embarrassment at most. You've just met the guy and you may never even see him again. Don't worry about it.

 

What if he's wearing headphones?

 

I can only speak for myself here, but in public places, I'm rarely wearing headphones.

[annie24]

1- what would be a good conversation starter with a complete stranger?

 

2- if you are reading or working on your laptop, what if she feels she is bothering you since you might be doing something important?

 

3- what if you have a wife or girlfriend who just got up for a minute to get coffee, to the lady's room, etc... and comes back to see a girl flirting with you - embarrassing for the girl talking to you and for you.

 

all the what ifs.... a deep breath:

 

well, if you are just asking a simple question, like directions, or where he got his sweater or whatever, and then a girl shows up, it's no big deal. i mean, you were just asking a simple question, right?! if he starts flirting back, then good!

[musicguy]

And yet if a guy claims the same thing... 'I can't approach because I'm too shy', he gets chastised and told to be more confident and to grow some .

 

yeahh!! booooooooo!!

[musicguy]

I'm a pretty shy guy, but I've learned that you aren't gonna get to know the other person if you don't say something to them

[coldplay.]

1- what would be a good conversation starter with a complete stranger?

 

2- if you are reading or working on your laptop, what if she feels she is bothering you since you might be doing something important?

 

3- what if you have a wife or girlfriend who just got up for a minute to get coffee, to the lady's room, etc... and comes back to see a girl flirting with you - embarrassing for the girl talking to you and for you.

 

all the what ifs.... a deep breath:

 

 

Nothing will ever be accomplished if all possible objections must first be overcome.

[Knight of Hope]

Nothing will ever be accomplished if all possible objections must first be overcome.

 

Well said! I couldn't agree more! We all just need to swallow our fear and just go for it! Sure, we'll get shot down. Sure, we'll be embarrassed. But if we can bring ourselves to accept that these things happen to everyone, then we'll finally find happiness in the long run. NO FEAR!

[nvrgiveuplove2]

Well said! I couldn't agree more! We all just need to swallow our fear and just go for it! Sure, we'll get shot down. Sure, we'll be embarrassed. But if we can bring ourselves to accept that these things happen to everyone, then we'll finally find happiness in the long run. NO FEAR!

 

I am normally a very shy person but if I see a guy at a bookstore and he seems approachable I go for it. I don't do it often but when I do I have met some great people. Most of them weren't my type but I have met a lot of friends this way. I might get rejected but hey thats ok because I am probably never going to see that person again. I would rather know that they said no, than keep wondering.