Feeling very depressed and even suicidal... I'm serious.

[1MoreChance]

Hi everyone.

 

I had such a difficult menstrual period this month. I posted last month about PMS" This month was even worse. Leading up to it I got increasingly depressed. Then on the day before it, and the first day, and the second day (today), I became EXTREMELLY depressed and suicidal. I cried constantly. No reason other than normal life and my usual issues. I do have issues but it's during PMS and periods that I get that LOW.

 

we have a fire escape inisde the building (an inner staicase that no one uses). I went to check if there was a part where I could tie my dog's leash and hang myself. I tested it with my weight. I don,t want to die, I don't want to leave my dog. But I am hurting so much inside. I am so SO SO exhausted from my period. I was so tired and depressed. I know it's bio chemical but I don,t want to take antidepressants.

 

I could hardly function at work today. I am a teacher and the stress of being in front of a class is too much. I get very fog-brained on the days leading up to my period and on the days I menstruate. I have PMS D, I haven't been diagnosed but have all the symptoms.

 

Please help me, tell me something. I'm dying, I cannot cope, I'm too exhausted. My work contract ends Friday and I have yet to renew it. I could wait and just substitute teach, but I want to work full time. I am just too tired. I'm so scared. I don't want to go through another PMS like that again, I don,t know what to do. last time I took the Pill it made me evry ill (major depression and severea anxiety). What alse can I do? I am falling appart.

 

If I didn't have my dog I'd kill myself. I am not close to my family (my sister always tells me that one has to snap out of feeling depressed. The other day she criticized the fact that I am tired all the time. I feel so judged and inferior and ashamed. It's not my fault I am so exhausted - always, but it gets worse arund my period. I have blood tests all normal for diabetes and thyroid and routine stuff like that).

[HellFrost666]

The fact that you're a teacher could be a way of coping in itself. You are someone young people look up to.

[waveseer]

I sent you a pm, please read it carefully. You can be all better in two or three days.

 

edit: I sent you three pm's.

[1MoreChance]

The fact that you're a teacher could be a way of coping in itself. You are someone young people look up to.

 

I teach adults.

 

I am DYING! Help I can't take it anymore. I'm too depressed.

[waveseer]

1MC, I responded to your pm. You need to seek medical help now. It is as urgent as how badly you feel. I hope you understand.

 

 

Edit: I have replied to your pm.

[1MoreChance]

1MC, I responded to your pm. You need to seek medical help now. It is as urgent as how badly you feel. I hope you understand.

 

 

Edit: I have replied to your pm.

 

 

thank you very much.

[waveseer]

thank you very much.

 

If how I felt can help someone else not to have to feel that way then it was worth it. However, that is the only thing that could possibly make it worth it to feel that badly.

 

Edit: You are not alone.

[1MoreChance]

I have symptoms of low estrogen. headache, dizziness, hot flashes, very very tired, insomnia, and everything to do with depression. I also get VERY drowsy during PMS which is a symptom of high progesterone / low estrogen. (progesterone can meake you very drowzy).

 

I read everywhere that severe depresson like I get is low estrogen / high progesterone (I get no water retention adn no sore breasts which is typical of low progesterone).

 

I had started taking Vitex (chaste berry extract commonly used for PMS) but I stopped because it raises progesterone (and I suspect that is not what I need) and dopamine and shouldn't be used by people with history of mental llness (such as myself - depression and anxiety). I read that people with my type of PMS should NOT use Vitex (read it after I started taking it)

 

what if the doc gives me the wrong hormones? are you on hormones for life? I don't want to take synthetic hormones!

[waveseer]

I am going to take them as long as they keep working or until menopause is over, whichever comes first. I consider it a small price to pay to retain my will to live.

 

Explain all of your symptoms to the doctor, hopefully they will get it right on the first try.

[1MoreChance]

I am going to take them as long as they keep working or until menopause is over, whichever comes first. I consider it a small price to pay to retain my will to live.

 

 

waveseer

 

I feel like it eally doesn't matter whether I live or die, except for the fact that my dog need sme. she has no one else, she totally depends on me, to go out, to drink water , to be fed, and we have fun together, we walk, we play, she is a sunshine in my life.

 

aside from that what does it matter whether I live or die? they'll find another teacher to replace me, someone else can live here and pay the rent... I don,t feel like I matter.

[waveseer]

waveseer

 

I feel like it eally doesn't matter whether I live or die, except for the fact that my dog need sme. she has no one else, she totally depends on me, to go out, to drink water , to be fed, and we have fun together, we walk, we play, she is a sunshine in my life.

 

aside from that what does it matter whether I live or die? they'll find another teacher to replace me, someone else can live here and pay the rent... I don,t feel like I matter.

 

That is your hormonal state talking. Ordinarily I doubt you feel that way. How did you feel a week ago?

[1MoreChance]

I usually feel worthless, but not to the same extent. I always struggle with feelings of low self esteem, but it is usually more bareable than now. Now it feels completelly overwhlming. and the exhaustion! I am SO tired.

[waveseer]

I really believe you can be helped, starting off with seeing your doctor asap. The battle is all uphill right now, you need a fighting chance to heal.

[KathyMoore]

I am feeling pretty suicidal myself. Where do you go for help when your flat broke. And it seems like nobody cares. Not family, not friends nobody.

[HellFrost666]

I teach adults.

 

I am DYING! Help I can't take it anymore. I'm too depressed.

 

Sorry, I didn't know.

[HellFrost666]

I am feeling pretty suicidal myself. Where do you go for help when your flat broke. And it seems like nobody cares. Not family, not friends nobody.

 

There are free crisis lines you can call.

[Capricorn3]

OP: Have you seen a doctor about this problem? If not, WHY not? The problem you have have can VERY EASILY be solved by the right course of medication and millions of women have suffered the same and have been helped with medication. I don't understand why, when something such as this can be so easily solved, or helped in a very significant way, why you don't see a doctor to get help.

[needadvice911]

This sounds like menopause to me.

 

If it is PMS you could try eliminating caffeine, sugars, and alcohol and try taking fish oil or vitamin E.

[1MoreChance]

Just wanted to let you know that I feel a lot better. By day 3 of my period I was back to "regular" aside form being very tired. My period really gets me very tired, i'm sure a lot of women here can relate.

 

I bought a PMS herbal tincture with dong quai and other stuff in it and have started taking supplements like omega-3 and magnesium as well as a multi. I am hoping the herbal tincture will regulate my cycle and give me some relief.

 

I have to see my doctor but I am so afraid she will give me synthetic drugs which I am afraid to take. but also i am very scared of in about 3 weeks when PMS comes back.

 

I am extemelly fatigued and constantly depressed (just not as intenselly as during PMS). I just don't know what to do. Even in the mornings when I wake up I am exhausted, yet I awaken really really early (like 5 or 6 AM) and cannot get back ot sleep.

 

BTW I don't drink alcohol, and I only have one small expresso in the morning. I do some emotional eating which means I do eat sugar and overeat at times, but I still eat fruit, vegatables, raw nuts, tofu, lots of healty stuff. I cut out gluten a few months ago and I'm tryign not to cheat.