I have feelings of inferiority

[van_city]

I feel like one of the major reasons why i haven't been able to get over my ex for 7 months is because some part of me feels inferior to her. I think i have a subconscious fear that she is smarter than me, which was brought on by my confidence being shattered after our breakup. Shes moved on with her life so well and is doing great without me, meanwhile im stuck in depression and am living my life in a terrible manner.

 

Makes me feel like shes better than me, my confidence is shot, how am i supposed to get over a girl if i think she is better than me? I'll never heal because ill always have to face feelings of inadequacy and inferiority- and face the fact that i wasnt good enough to be with a girl thats better than me.

 

The logical part of me says that shes not better or smarter than me- and this is the view i held while i still had confidence and was in the relationship, but now my emotions have taken hold and i cant shake this inferior feeling

 

Please, suggestions?

[catfeeder]

Best way I know to heal from anything is to avoid comparing myself to anyone else. Small baby steps. Changes in attitude. Care in the way I speak to myself. Viewing myself through a kind and forgiving lens instead of a critical one. Narrowing my focus to measure my progress according to how much better I am today rather than who might be better than me...

 

You can always come up with arguments and proof that work against you, or you can stop using your own intelligence and imagination against yourself and opt to become your own best inspiration instead. It's a decision.

 

In your corner.

 

EDIT: Forgot to add the biggest thing that helped me get over someone who dumped me. Sure, the impulse is to decide that if they don't think you're good enough, they must be right. Not so. Consider that she lacks the capacity to view you through the right lens--which speaks of her deficiency, not yours, in forming the right relationship for both of you. The right woman for you will 'get you' no matter whether you're on best behavior, or not. Your ability to relax and be yourself will tell you all you need to know about who is RIGHT for you.

[Keyman]

We all have our talents and shine in certain areas. Often we cannot compare ourselves to other people, because the areas of our talents are different. So while someone appears smarter in a certain way, they are dumb as dust in a way that you might shine.

 

She has moved on and you are left wallowing in your self doubt and depression. You are thinking that since she is doing well, you should be too. She may have moved on, found herself someone new, whatever, but generally leaping into another relationship soon after a breakup doesn't allow that person to heal the wounds left from the other relationship.

 

Feelings of inadequacy and inferiority aren't permanent feelings, instead they are more a means to show that you are feeling less than you should be. If you set them as goal posts and start working towards reaching them, they become goals.

 

The first thing you need to do is stop thinking about and comparing yourself to her. It's over, time to wake up and move on. The more you worry that you aren't in the same place that she is in with healing, the less you will achieve. Your healing is based on YOU. Forget her and walk away.