attraction and the physical bit...

[peppercorn]

Guy takes time out of his schedule to get to know me... I'm pretty sure he is only "dating" me right now... we're going on the fourth date this weekend...

 

He's gotten fairly verbal since the third date, when we had a peck on the mouth (initiated, however, by me). I was stupid and asked (online) for a bit of a follow-up, because I was confused (I was going to give him a kiss on his cheek but he seemed to turn so I went for the mouth, but I wasn't sure if that was just a misinterpretation on my part). He teased and chastised me via email for jumping the gun, telling me that he wanted that kiss and is actually interested... and so the fourth date was planned...

 

But I still don't know. It's just a gut feeling I have that he's not fully "there" -- not entirely sure whether he wants to be friends or more than friends, and he's walking the tightrope. Last night we were at a friend's party and... he did to me what he ALL too often does: he accidentally touched my knee under the table, but then let it rest on my knee.... but not FULLY on my knee... PARTIALLY... so that I wasn't sure whether it was intentional or not. I don't get it... if you want to touch a girl, why don't you just do it? This has been his "physical" interaction toward me for a month now... very brief motions that don't really explain anything to me besides, "yeah -- maybe I'm attracted toward you."

 

But then he'll actually say things to me that indicate he is: "Are you driving your friend home tonight? Ahh... well there goes that plan.

 

I'm less verbal... I'm more the type of person who does things rather than saying them. I am kind of hoping he'll make some sort of physical move right away on our fourth date, so I know...

 

Should I just drop away? I can see him asking me to hang out again after this one, but I wonder if I should say yes. I want to see him of course, but honestly, I get too emotionally involved and if I'm still confused after a month I just can't bring myself to NOT feel embarrassed about the fact that I'm sticking around with no definitive answers on his part...

[annie24]

it sounds like he is interested, just going slowly. try to enjoy getting to know each other, as opposed to feeling anxious.

[loulee]

Why dont you take the intiative??...sounds like you want him to show affection but are you sitting back waiting for it to happen , feeling uncertain... maybe you could give some stronger indications through body langauge etc... Why dont YOU just do it! good luck

[pinkelephant]

He's letting you take the lead. And yes, I think he's interested in more than friends. =)

[notsogood]

Easier to just let him know how you feel and it might save a lot of time. Sounds like he is unsure of what he wants and maybe is unsure of how you feel?

 

I find all too often if people are more straight forward it is a lot easier in the long run....

[madmarten]

Next time trying grabbing his knee and see how he reacts.

[peppercorn]

Easier to just let him know how you feel and it might save a lot of time. Sounds like he is unsure of what he wants and maybe is unsure of how you feel?

 

I find all too often if people are more straight forward it is a lot easier in the long run....

 

Yeah, I don't know. I agree that it's best to be straight forward, and that's what I'm trying to do. I basically expressed that I like him, find him attractive and think he's a great guy and want to date him (after the kiss incident). He responded positively. I don't think I can do much more than this for now.

 

I'm more than okay with things going slowly... it's just that he's a guy, so I automatically think... well, if he hasn't made out with me yet, that means he's not 100% there. If he was that gaga about me he would just do it... lol.