Still going on how do you guys do it?

[fantasia2004]

I am in my 6 month and still have the spells of crying and feeling bad but everyday I try to get on with life even though I miss my ex-

 

How do you do it without losing it? I feel like a basket case but I never let it get me down.

 

Moving on is hard and not easy but can be accomplished.

 

I love my ex truly so still and made the mistakes and must learn to forgive and learn to love again...

[Hopingpraying]

Fantasia,

 

Its not easy for any of us. I just take it a day at a time. Some days are really good and I feel like I am moving forward, other days it seems like I take ten steps back.

I just try to keep doing the right things. When I do have contact with my wife I make sure I am polite, caring, but not overly so. I just try to keep a positive outlook and not hold anything against her. I know I was as much responsible if not more for our situation. I am now trying to recognize my mistakes and make sure I do not repeat them.

 

I have to believe by doing this my wife will see the person in me that she fell in love with in the first place and maybe we will be able to make things work out.

 

A day at a time is the best I think.. Wish me luck, and I do the same for you.

 

 

[Princess777]

I can feel for you... most of us have been or still are there. I think a positive attitude is your best friend..... your mind can be either your best friend or your worst enemy, and just remember when those little negative voices creep in telling you you're not worth anything or you're not lovable, etc., tell it to shut up! Refuse to believe those lies. This is the disease (dis-ease) of insecurity and codependence... know that it is lying to you. Your positive side of your mind is more powerful, just give it that power to stamp out the negative thoughts. Know that you are a very worthy individual who is lovable and kind and wonderful. Just because things didn't work out with one person doesn't mean there's not 50 more people out there right now waiting for you to walk into their lives. Look at your experience with your ex as a learning experience and realize what went wrong and move on with that knowledge.

Last of all, when there is nothing anybody can say or do to make you feel better, come here to vent and get support through the day or night. Good luck *hugs*

[lisaria]

Hey fantasia,

I'm only in month 2 but it is getting better. You put one foot in front of the other and you keep going. When it gets so bad that you just need to get it out, then get it out. If you're at work, go to the bathroom and cry, then fix your makeup and put that foot in front of the other and go on. If you're home scream into your pillow. During the first few weeks I don't know how many times I did that. I really don't know how I made it through. I could not tell you how I did it. But then time stepped in and it has gotten better. But then I have those awful black days when everything reminds me of him and I think about him and it just won't go away (like this weekend). So it comes and goes. Think about it. Are you still thinking about him constantly or do you have minutes or maybe even hours when you don't? I love it when I can go an hour without thinking about him. Then I say "YES!!!" and know that life will go on without him and I feel so much stronger! It doesn't necessarily last as long as I want it to, which would be to not ever think about his sorry a@@ anymore. On those days when you don't think you can move forward and everything is dark and dreary and so very lonely you come up here and read how others feel the same way you do. It helps to know you're not alone. This site has gotten me through lots and lots of bad days. Keep your chin up, it will go away eventually. We are all just waiting for that day and we are all stronger than we think. Look how far we've come.

[mahlina]

I must agree with hoping&praying. I'm at fault, because everytime I feel that inch of moving on, everytime I feel a tad bit of progression, I always leap back into square one, at least within a 2 month or 1 month span. I'll move on within that time frame, and feel better, and then leap back. It's even worse knowing that the ex finds other alternative means to contact you, like when you've got his number blocked. Yeah, so moving on is confusing, especially, when your ex does not respect your 'space' to move on and re-cooperate with your life. My recent ex doesn't. So, everytime this happens, I'm finding that the 'shocks' and stages lighten up a bit. So a little push and shove, and some odd way, I make it out of this frustration. Hang in there, it's a challenge, and I commend anyone who remains on that 'strict no contact rule.' It's really tough.

[disEnchantid]

hey fantasia

this seems to be the way it goes (unfortunately)...four+ month of no contact and I still find my ex haunting my dreams and get angry at myself for thinking about him way more than I ought to. past experience has shown me that it *does* get better with time and patience is the name of the game here. there's nothing wrong with you for still feeling bad, hearts that love deeply heal slowly I think.

 

best of luck, pm or im me anytime

 

dE

[fantasia2004]

hey everyone, thanks for input,

 

 

I have allowed myself to fall apart over someone to disown me and I FEEL AND LOOK AWFUL. I need to get over this bs and get on with living why should my ex have all the fun and I am slumping away in a corner of misery and feeling awful?

I' m fed up and want a change in direction.

 

 

His loss anyway and he will pay in the end and see it or not but God will take the reins and correct him when the time comes. So maybe what goes around comes around really happens as they say? What do you think on that one?

 

Boy was I stupid! never again folks never again!

 

I look in the mirror and say stop the insanity!!!!!!!!!

 

 

I must love myself before I can love again!!!!!

 

 

Thanks for your advice everyone. It helps.

[nenez]

Dear Lisaria

It does get easier.

Take it one day at a time and in every day take note of every good moment even if its smiling at a kid in the street or having a laugh with a friend.

Try not to be on your own too much, reflecting time always is the hardest.

Remember there are a million womn out here all rooting for you.

 

[disEnchantid]

way to go fantasia!! I am SOOOOO proud of you!!! you have made the right decision here, and you will find yourself feeling better everyday now! That boy is not worth any more of your time or pain, girl! Stay strong, we're all here to support you

 

 

disEnchantid

[The8thWonder]

I'm right there with you Fantasia. It does get easier. Take it day by day. Some days are so much harder than others. My girlfriend did a complete 180 on me and I always feel like calling her, but something always holds me back. Keep talking to your family and close friends. This is the best way I have found to vent my feelings. The best thing to do is to get into a routine, keep busy, and learn to have fun again. You were fine without this person before. You can do it again. Hope this helps.