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My boyfriend and i have been together for over 5 years. He will be graduating next year from college. I always think about the future and I honestly already know that this is the guy I want to marry. But he's not sending me any clues or signs that he wants to get married atleast to me! We talked about it once before and he expressed that he does want to get married but whenever we have a conversation and i try to feel him out, he always changes the topic.


I always try to say that just because you get engaged it doesn't mean you have to get married right away. I understand the costs of planning a wedding. I just want to take it the next level.


i want to get married to him but i just don't know whether he wants to. My worst fear is that when he graduates he will dump me and i will feel like he cheated me out of 6 years (by that time) of my life when i could have been preparing myself to get married to someone who wants to!


I dont know what to do!

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If he's graduating next year from college, chances are that he's much more focused on his studies for the next year, and then finding a job afterwards in the current climate, and, really, marriage is probably not a priority for the moment. In fact, it would be rather irresponsible if it were, as he's got lots of sorting out to do in his life!


I can understand your impatience, but I really think you need to drop this subject for now. He's already aware of what your feelings are, and to persist (however gently you think you're doing it) is more likely to push him away than to get you the result you want. He's more likely to feel pressured and controlled than romantic. You say he's not giving any hints or clues he wants to get married. So stop pushing. If he changes his mind you'll know soon enough.


You don't say that he's hinted that he intends to finish with you when he graduates, so unless he does - don't worry about it. And as for feeling cheated out of 6 years of your life ....!!! Haven't you enjoyed each other's company, had great experiences, grown and matured as people, been in love? Is it really appropriate to feel cheated, even if you don't get married any time soon? I can see that if marriage is your only goal, rather than being with someone you love, then you'd feel cheated. But I do think that you'd feel more contented if you were to re-examine some of your attitudes in the light of day-to-day reality, and just enjoy your loving relationship.


Hope this helps!

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I think it's difficult for guys to commit to marriage when they're still going through college (or any other major commitment, such as a work contract, a degree, etc.). I'm also going to assume that you're both somewhere in your early twenties.


Have you ever spoken about marriage before? Has he ever outright stated that he would, at some point, like to get married to you? What is your relationship currently like? Are you living together?

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If you want to get married you should talk to him about to so that your understand what his plans are. Just because he does not want to get married yet does not mean he does not love you or not committed to you. You should also ask him if he wants to have children. Some people don't, you are better of knowing what his plans are sooner then later.

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