My sex life is over because i'm so afraid of contracting an STD

[babybear]

I've always been afraid of STDs ever since I became sexually active. I've always been checked after every sexual encounter posing any risk. Then out the blue I got genital warts. No idea who gave it to me. I'm single. Anyway after a week of treatment they haven't shown themselves again. Since this experience however, the problem has been this: I have not had sex in a year and simply feel like I will never be able to have sex again. I am constantly paranoid that I am going to have an outbreak of herpes at any given moment. I feel like my life revolves around getting tested and making plans for getting tested. I have never had a HPV test before so I'm waiting for an opportunity to go to London and get one to see if I have any cancerous strains as well. I'm very scared of HIV. I feel once I have had the HPV and potentially the herpes test a weight will be lifted. But the problem with the herpes blood test is that it could give me a positive for oral herpes. I've never had a coldsore anywhere but I have kissed people who have oral coldsores (though not whilst any were present). If I get a positive herpes result I will become even more depressed and obsessed and against ever having sex again. I feel if I have sex with someone again I am sure to contract one of these viruses not to mention pass on my low risk strain of HPV. It's just all swarming in my head and I feel as though i'm about to explode. I've taken citalopram and tried CBT which hasn't really helped because you can never really know someones status. And I can't make someone pay hundreds of pounds to get all these different tests done prior to sleeping with them. So I'm left with a sexless life???? How do people have sex and never think twice about the consequences? I feel so depressed and lost.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Well, there is the option of waiting until you are in a committed relationship where you and the guy have discussed STDs and have both been tested, rather than just having sex with anybody you date for a few weeks. You can minimize the risks by being selective with whom you have sex...in other words, wait until there is a committed relationship (not necessarily marriage).

[jul-els]

Yes, the best way is to be selective with your partners. Take time to get to know someone before having sex. If you have a strong sex drive, then self-pleasure is the most risk free way to go.

 

It's good to be careful but you're chances of contracting something are lower than what your fears have made them out to be.

 

Try not to worry so much, though. All of that stress can weaken your immune system which can in turn make you more vulnerable to catching something, not just sexual, but colds and flu also.

 

Think of it like driving a car. If you worried about how you're driving while behind the wheel, your chances of being in an accident will increase. Same kind of principle.

 

So be careful, but don't worry. Be selective with your partners and self-pleasure when necessary. And most of all, enjoy!

[Anyway]

...How do people have sex and never think twice about the consequences? I feel so depressed and lost.

Using condoms usually is a good idea and herpes isn't this bad. As far as I can recall most people have it anyways. Living can't be without risks or do you stop leaving your home because you're afraid of getting overrun by passing busses?!

[knowme]

i ended a 2 year casual thing with someone yesterday partly because of this.

 

I do know how you feel, you just have to make sure you are exclusive with your next partner, get them to get tested, and stop worrying.

[HeartGoesOn]

Wow, quite shocking really!! Think I must b lucky!

Av ad a lifetime of partenrs and one * * * * ty marriage but always ad clean partners n never ad anything what so ever, wonder why?

Reckon he difference between ou n me is I av the 'bar high'.

Found at an early age that be 'being choosy' I got a better class of woman, they all knew I wasn't easy n they ad 2 wait three weeks b4 they got it. Av rejected many 'flat-backers' in my time n don't regret it..........

Believe we all get wo we deserve, I've finally got mine! She's 6'1", former London cat-walk model and goes like stink.

Try getting the 'bar up' n look for a betta class of man!

 

 

Just like "cancer", STD's are not limited to what you may view as a certain "class" of people.

[Tall Boy]

Very nieve in my opinion!!

Not about class all about the person.............

A slapper is a slapper, they can be male or female! If the frequency of their partners is weekly, guess what, you run to many risks........

Maybe you speak from experience, been unlucky? you av to guard what you have........

Pay ettention to gossip and wait for the 'real' players, they always quiet reserved and loyal/B]. Loads of luck to you............

[ur02111222]

Very nieve in my opinion!!

Not about class all about the person.............

A slapper is a slapper, they can be male or female! If the frequency of their partners is weekly, guess what, you run to many risks........

Maybe you speak from experience, been unlucky? you av to guard what you have........

Pay ettention to gossip and wait for the 'real' players, they always quiet reserved and loyal/B]. Loads of luck to you............

 

 

Naive? Someone who doesn't sleep around can still catch an STI. Someone who sleeps around with everyone can stay STI-free. It sounds like you are the naive one who cannot even spell naive or much else for that matter.

[ur02111222]

babybear,

People get STDs all the time. It doesn't make them dirty or gross either. Some people get cheated on, are lied to, or have partners who are unaware. STDs happen, so always use condoms to decrease your risk.

 

Even though you have had warts, this does not mean that they will come back or that you will ever pass them on. Just wear condoms to prevent this, and be sure to tell any future partners. Warts are caused by a strain of HPV, but this won't cause anything other than the warts, which really aren't physically harming. Maybe they are mentally damaging, but not very much physical. Most strains of HPV will be naturally cleared by the body with little to no symptom or lasting effects. Only a small number cause genital warts and cervical cancers. Even if someone is infected with a strain that may cause cervical cancer, it does not mean that she will get cervical cancer.

 

Get a pap smear. If you have any abnormal cell growth, your doctor will monitor it. In many cases, it will clear up on it's own, but be sure to have a yearly pap smear so any possibly dangerous abnormal cell growths can be caught in the early stages.

 

If you get a herpes test, the chances of getting a positive for oral herpes is there. Three in four people are believed to have oral herpes. This does not mean that they have outbreaks or cold sores though. It's extremely common. And nearly one in five people are believed to have genital herpes. This is also common.

 

I think it's ok to ask a partner to get tested before you have sex with him/her if you are asking them to get the standard tests done-HIV test, chlamydia, and gonorrhea. If your partner is in a risk category for syphilis, he/she may consider getting tested for it as well. Basically, it is standard to test for whatever you are at a risk for.

 

You sound extremely worried about STDs. As long as your partner has been tested for HIV and has been safe in the past, I don't think there is too much to freak out about. If you end up with gonorrhea, syphilis, or chlamydia, all three are bacterial and can easily be cured. If you caught herpes ever, there is medication to reduce symptoms. Many people never even have outbreaks. Using condoms will reduce the risk of spreading it to a partner. As for warts, they are annoying but they can be removed and will not necessarily come back. For HPV, most strains won't do you much damage. As long as you are getting pap smears yearly, you should be ok. Most people who are sexually active will have some form of HPV at some point.

[Difficult]

The most important thing you need to do is go to a therapist to have your paranoia treated. Your so worried about what you could get you are not concerned about what you have, likely a chemical imbalance that causes irrational paranoia.

 

 

Celebacy is a great way to completely avoid diseases, but taking that road is like saying "I'm not gonna drive because I can get in an accident".

[JusticeLaw9]

You have every right to protect yourself and be concerned for your health; act accordingly. If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable having sex at the moment and just want to wait for a little while, so be it.