hexaemeron Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Sometimes, the body just has to overcome the brain in order to put things in perspective. The next time he touches you, just kiss him. It'll solve everything one way or another. =) Link to comment
1WayTicket2Norway Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 ^i agree. i think you should reciprocate his advances and see where it goes from there.. Link to comment
Lexington Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 it will probably be unnatural way to do it, but you have to. just blurt it out if you must, and tell him everything you have told us, or even show him this topic to see what he has put you through. That's really a good thought! He's right here at the moment, in the bathroom, and he came so close to me again that I must believe his gay/bi/questioning or just interested in me... He embraced me from behind and put his head next to mine, so I stroked his head, then he asked: Do you want to kiss? And I was like: Shall we? And then he pulled back... Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Just do it! You're gonna have to be the aggressor here. He's obviously too scared to commit. Link to comment
XxPKMNxX Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 That's really a good thought! He's right here at the moment, in the bathroom, and he came so close to me again that I must believe his gay/bi/questioning or just interested in me... He embraced me from behind and put his head next to mine, so I stroked his head, then he asked: Do you want to kiss? And I was like: Shall we? And then he pulled back... congrats! Your getting there step by step ... keep at it and improve! Link to comment
Lexington Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 I don't know. I've become disillusioned and despondent in the -- let's see -- uhm, last twenty minutes. He's asleep right now, so I browsed his portable hard drive, which isn't really okay, but * * * * it... uhm -- hundreds of pics of girls... granted, I had known this before, but seeing it right now it breaks me down again. I don't know. I * * * * ing don't know... Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I don't know. I've become disillusioned and despondent in the -- let's see -- uhm, last twenty minutes. He's asleep right now, so I browsed his portable hard drive, which isn't really okay, but * * * * it... uhm -- hundreds of pics of girls... granted, I had known this before, but seeing it right now it breaks me down again. I don't know. I * * * * ing don't know... Have you considered the fact that it's not so much that he's str8, and that you're gay, but he just has a really inexplicable HUMAN connection to you? It's been known to happen. Some things defy orientation. Link to comment
Lexington Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 Yeah, I indeed considered this. And it's a very nice idea. Then again, how strong and prospective could a possible connection be... if he's into * * * * * * * , not * * * * s - plainly speaking. Link to comment
XxPKMNxX Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 just tell him! its either tell him and get it over and done with, and if he is a true friend, he will understand that he kind of led you on abit and stuff if not, then he is not a true friend and if he is great! or keep it inside and feel like this for alot longer Link to comment
Lexington Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 Yeah, I'll most likely do just that - keep it inside. Cause I just don't have the guts... On the other hand, I have surprised myself before, so who knows what I'll do... And anyway, tell him what? That I think I'm in love with him? That I miss him when he's not around? That maybe I just think he's the one for the fact that he's actually the only one there? That I might just want him... and nothing else? Maybe I really just want to want him and not actually have him. No matter what, anything I might say sure as hell is gonna freak him out... Bottom line is, I don't want him to turn away from me... and I don't want him to think I have made a big deal out of somthing that from his side was nothing more than jokes... I can't really put into words what's actually keeping me from telling him how I feel. I guess it's really about embarrassing myself and crossing a border I feel I have no right to. God knows he's done exactly that plenty often... I guess -- I don't even know how I feel about him, so how am I supposed to tell him anything? How am I supposed to try and make him understand... what even I don't understand... Link to comment
Just_14 Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 i've been following yr thread.. do keep us updated.. Link to comment
Lexington Posted September 19, 2009 Author Share Posted September 19, 2009 I let it pass by. I just let him go without saying anything. And I kind of realized that... I really just wanna have the illusion I have created of his person. But I'm not even sure about that. Maybe it's more that I wanna chase this illusion, and feel bad for not actually having it. In turn, having it could never be possible... cause where would the longing and pain then be, that I seem to crave more than anything... I'm * * * * ed up. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 It's always easier to enjoy the possibilities of a fantasy than to explore the actualities of a situation. For sure. If you honestly think you could love him (if it's even a possibility), you just need to tell him. Or kiss him. Or tackle him and rip his clothes off. Something. Existing in limbo is easier in the big picture, but it's way harder on your heart. Link to comment
Lexington Posted September 19, 2009 Author Share Posted September 19, 2009 As much as I can claim to know of love, I'd say I already love him. I care about him and I miss him all the time and I wish I could be with him all the time. That is, probably, with the illusion... Link to comment
ceez Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 aww, I haven't read this post in a while but it sounds like your still stuck I think the only way to get out of this is tell him how you feel and get it over with, or maybe just remain friends with him and find someone else, then maybe hell become jealous and break in on your date, and start to make out with your, and then the other guy will join in and you can have a hot and sweaty threesome. Sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes. but, yea tell him how you feel. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 See, this is a very surreal sort of conversation for me. Whenever someone "str8" would be curious about this sort of thing or start to show affection, I just went for it. But then, I didn't have a platonic investment in them, either. Link to comment
BluePanda Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 At this point if I was in your position, and he got close again, I would probably say something like "If you keep getting close I'm going to make a move, so if it's not what you want I'd back off." I think it's wrong for him to do you this way if he really is straight, and knowing you're gay. I think you should tell him how you feel completely. I also think he might already have an idea of how you feel. Link to comment
Lexington Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 I also think he might already have an idea of how you feel. How do you figure? Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 How do you figure? People don't hide their true feelings as well as they think. We usually just SCREAM THEM A LITTLE MORE QUIETLY. Haha. Link to comment
sweet_revenge Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 people don't hide their true feelings as well as they think. We usually just scream them a little more quietly. Haha. so true. Link to comment
Lexington Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 Now, I'm really just one step away from telling him. Just let me ask all of you who have followed the entire thread: how are the odds he's gay/bi or straight? It's redundant, I know, but it'd kinda help me to know, as a conclusion. (I even showed the whole thing my sister to get another point of view, and she agrees that it some way he must be interested in the general idea of being gay, otherwise no one would bother to engage in that behavior, not even for the purpose of toying with the other.) Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Now, I'm really just one step away from telling him. Just let me ask all of you who have followed the entire thread: how are the odds he's gay/bi or straight? It's redundant, I know, but it'd kinda help me to know, as a conclusion. (I even showed the whole thing my sister to get another point of view, and she agrees that it some way he must be interested in the general idea of being gay, otherwise no one would bother to engage in that behavior, not even for the purpose of toying with the other.) I think he's honestly curious, and probably feels more comfortable (but clearly not entirely comfortable) because it's you. Link to comment
Lexington Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 I'm trying to tell myself face-to-face is the only true way, but in case I freeze and won't be able to somehow say it, would it make me a coward to do it on-line? Would I regret not being brave enough? Link to comment
sweet_revenge Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I'm trying to tell myself face-to-face is the only true way, but in case I freeze and won't be able to somehow say it, would it make me a coward to do it on-line? Would I regret not being brave enough? you should DEFINITELY tell him in person. Link to comment
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